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HELP: Don't know if I'm a guest or not. No mail invite, but wedding website RSVP?

JoyfulBride2012JoyfulBride2012
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in Wedding Invitations & Paper
Ok so a former co-worker, let's call her "G" and I are friends on facebook.. I mean we worked at this lil boutique for a like 5 months back in 2008-2009 and we talked like work friends do, but outside of work we just talked and didn't actually hang out. But she's cool you know? ...like, I would really like to go to her wedding, plus I mean, it's a wedding and I love weddings! Ha! 

Anyways, she keeps posting on fb telling everyone to RSVP on her wedding website. It's going to be a causual country wedding from the looks of it :) and well I didn't receive a mail invitation so I don't know what to do. How do I find out, politely, if the wedding website is her only form of invites/RSVP? I don't want to overstep my bounds, cuz technically we're not friends-friends you know? But still want to go, lol. So I don't want to message G and ask her if she's sent out invites too... I mean, how akward. Ay, and her wedding is just over a month away!! 

Any help, advice would be appreciated! 
Oh, and her RSVP on her website is in the form of a guestbook :/ 
I got a wedding invite from another friend (we'll call her "F") yesterday and it says to RSVP on her wedding website also, but it asks me for my name and looks my name up in a search. Then it asks for my email, my response and if I wanted "veg" or "chicken." After I responded it said it would forward my response to F and her future husband, and their wedding is a few months away.

I've been questioning if I should just RSVP to G's wedding and see what happens (but how akward for her to, un-invite, or just not say anything to avoid confrontation). But then I saw F's wedding website and the RSVP is different.

So confused... help!!! Embarassed
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Re: HELP: Don't know if I'm a guest or not. No mail invite, but wedding website RSVP?

  • QueerFemmeQueerFemme member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    I would probably assume I was not invited.  You never hung out outside of work. Why would she invite you to her wedding?

    image

    Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:

    http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/

    http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html

    http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/

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  • JoyfulBride2012JoyfulBride2012
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_help-dont-know-if-im-a-guest-or-not-no-mail-invite-but-wedding-website-rsvp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:3318dfee-2bbd-494c-9b9e-7c42d1073602Post:322fe389-2bd6-43e8-b4c7-8f70561d2436">Re: HELP: Don't know if I'm a guest or not. No mail invite, but wedding website RSVP?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would probably assume I was not invited.  You never hung out outside of work. Why would she invite you to her wedding?
    Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

    <div>Why would she post about the details on her fb and make it sound like everyone on her fb was invited? I don't know... you tell me. </div><div>
    </div><div>I thought about inviting her to mine. We still talk, just don't hang out. But were good friends at work.</div>
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  • chalfacrechalfacre member
    First Comment
    Ditto, PP. I would not consider myself a guest unless I received an actual invitation. If she has you on the list without your knowledge, then I'm assuming she will make the round of calls after the RSVP date to get a final count and you will be able to respond to her.
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  • JoyfulBride2012JoyfulBride2012
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_help-dont-know-if-im-a-guest-or-not-no-mail-invite-but-wedding-website-rsvp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:3318dfee-2bbd-494c-9b9e-7c42d1073602Post:33998430-d675-4d6f-b15d-b19fd5ec25f1">Re: HELP: Don't know if I'm a guest or not. No mail invite, but wedding website RSVP?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ditto, PP. I would not consider myself a guest unless I received an actual invitation. If she has you on the list without your knowledge, then I'm assuming she will make the round of calls after the RSVP date to get a final count and you will be able to respond to her.
    Posted by chalfacre[/QUOTE]

    <div>Thanks! :) yea I was thinking that too... just seemed weird you know? Kinda sad though, love weddings. Ha!</div>
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  • chalfacrechalfacre member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_help-dont-know-if-im-a-guest-or-not-no-mail-invite-but-wedding-website-rsvp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:3318dfee-2bbd-494c-9b9e-7c42d1073602Post:ba5c11e2-21a8-4c26-8f4d-f8d7a56ff908">Re: HELP: Don't know if I'm a guest or not. No mail invite, but wedding website RSVP?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: HELP: Don't know if I'm a guest or not. No mail invite, but wedding website RSVP? : Thanks! :) yea I was thinking that too... just seemed weird you know? Kinda sad though, love weddings. Ha!
    Posted by JoyfulBride2012[/QUOTE]

    <div>I know what you mean! I have several FB friends who talk about RSVP dates via their status. It leaves the floor open for a lot of hurt feelings and some potentially very unwanted guests to show up.</div>
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_help-dont-know-if-im-a-guest-or-not-no-mail-invite-but-wedding-website-rsvp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:3318dfee-2bbd-494c-9b9e-7c42d1073602Post:bd32a6b6-6bb6-4256-95cd-2370c61422e2">Re: HELP: Don't know if I'm a guest or not. No mail invite, but wedding website RSVP?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: HELP: Don't know if I'm a guest or not. No mail invite, but wedding website RSVP? : <strong>Why would she post about the details on her fb and make it sound like everyone on her fb was invited?</strong> I don't know... you tell me.  I thought about inviting her to mine. We still talk, just don't hang out. But were good friends at work.
    Posted by JoyfulBride2012[/QUOTE]

    <div>Because she is stupid.  A lot of people post things like this on FB without thinking about how it comes off to the people that aren't invited.  It's meant to be a reminder to the people that are invited.  </div><div>
    </div><div>If you really want to go, ask her about her wedding plans during your next phone conversation.  If she intended to invite you, she'll mention that she hadn't gotten your RSVP.</div>
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