BM problem

KatyRoseM · May 2011

So my mom is making the BM dresses, and is done with all of them but one. She has not sent the lining back (it was sent to her to make sure it fit right). She is going through a lot right now, so I don't want to hound her about sending it back. She has much more important things going on in her life and I know it and talk to her about it. I just also feel bad that my mom is putting in all this work and if it doesn't fit right than she will be fixing it the two days before the wedding. How should I approach this?

Beachy730 · May 2011

I would just call her and talk to her like normal, and just mention during the conversation about sending the liner back. Is it possible for you to go pick it up from her?

em01092 · May 2011

Hmmm, yeah I get what you mean about not wanting to hound her. However, your date is getting close, so I can see why you are getting antsy and want it finished. I'm sure both of you are under a lot of pressure right now!

I guess if I were you, I would just approach her calmly when she is in a good mood, and ask her if there is anything you can do to help alleviate her stress, regarding anything WR or not. You said "she has not sent the lining back"; what do you mean by this? Do you mean back to the BM? Could you do any transporting of materials/dress for her so that she does not have to?

As long as you sympathize with her about being stressed and ask her nicely, she will probably take it ok. If she does snap or get upset, try to take it with a grain of salt.

*hugs!*

KatyRoseM · May 2011

The BM has the lining. She was trying it on to make sure the dress would fit. The BM lives in NY, I live in IL (but am moving in a week and a half right after I graduate), my mom lives in UT, so I can't really do anything to help anyone. I know I should just mention it again, but I feel really bad about it.

em01092 · May 2011

Ah ok I get it now. So it is your BM that you need to get in the game, not mom. Duh, hence the title of your post. Sorry! haha

Yeah that is tricky then. Maybe say something like "BM, I feel really bad bringing up the dress situation again because I know you are under a lot of pressure and I don't mean to hound you, but do you think you can mail it back to my mom by X DATE? Things are going to get even more hectic for us as the month goes on and I just want this out of the way for you, and so mom has it and can be working on it."

?

mespence47 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bm-problem?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9d331f59-dfe5-4eed-9794-329ca43e16fcPost:a233a00c-dced-4ce5-bb8e-531815897891">Re: BM problem</a>:
[QUOTE]Ah ok I get it now. So it is your BM that you need to get in the game, not mom. Duh, hence the title of your post. Sorry! haha Yeah that is tricky then. Maybe say something like "BM, I feel really bad bringing up the dress situation again because I know you are under a lot of pressure and I don't mean to hound you, but do you think you can mail it back to my mom by X DATE? Things are going to get even more hectic for us as the month goes on and I just want this out of the way for you, and so mom has it and can be working on it." ?
Posted by em01092[/QUOTE]

<div>This exactly! Just tell her you understand what she's going through, but that you want her to be comfortable on your wedding day and be wearing a dress that fits perfectly! :)</div>

KatyRoseM · May 2011

Thanks for your help. That is a good way to word it. I'm so worried about being a bride who stops being a friend.

BM problem

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