My fiance wants to invite his ex to our wedding. I'm completely against the idea, but he's afraid that if she isn't invited she'll get her feelings hurt and so will her dad. UGH what to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????????
No freakin way would I invite any of my FI's ex-girlfriends to our wedding. Then again, he pretty much hates them all so I don't have to worry about it.
This depends on their relationship. Are they still friends, or are they close (like the couples who realize they just weren't meant to be together, but can remain pretty tight)? Or, do they rarely speak? If they rarely speak and don't really care to see each other, then there is no reason to invite her. And I see no reason why he should be worried about her feelings, or her dad's for that matter.
Unless, of course, they are still friends. Then, I can see why he would be worried. Regardless, though, having an ex at your wedding is weird to me.
You also have to figure that you have already landed the guy and wouldn't you want to make sure his ex sees that your fiance is officially off the market? I always thought that I wanted my ex at my wedding. Since I've been engaged though I decided that woud not be a smart idea and it would hurt my fiance's feelings. I think you and your fiance just need to talk about it a bit more.
I guess it would depend on if he was friends with her. I have maintained several friendships over the years that started with romantic relationships. So has DH. A few of these people were invited to our wedding and we've been invited to theirs.
Neither of us had any issue with this, though. If this is a problem for you, you need to sit down and talk to him about this. Express your concern and maybe find out why he feels it necessary to invite her.
My ex of 5yrs. is still one of my best friends. My FI & I hangout w/him & other friends almost every weekend, he's def. invited to our wedding. His ex's on the other hand are a different story. He hasn't maintained a friendship w/any of them & I asked if he had any he wante to invite he said no so that was that
If the ex is a good friend with whom he regularly spends time, it would be impolite not to invite her. It would be very awkward to bump into her at the grocery store when she's not invited but many of her friends and acquaintances are.
It may make FH's social life easier to just invite her, and that's something for you to consider as FMrs. If you're inviting more than 40 guests, how much will you really see her on your big day? Probably less than 10 minutes, honestly. A small sacrifice for easing DH's mind.
I'm assuming she's an ex-girlfriend. If she's an ex-wife, it would be just plain unusual to invite her. It would also be tacky to invite her if they were ever engaged to each other. If none of those apply, you may just have to bite the bullet on this one in the name of keeping the peace.
I think he needs to respect your feelings on this matter. I have a few exes that I'm still friends with and wanted to invite them to the wedding. FI was fine with one because he's met him and thinks he's a great guy. He said absolutely not to another, so even though I was disappointed I took him off the guest list. Since this is both of your day and not just his, he should let his ex (and her dad) know that under the circumstances she shouldn't expect an invite.
I don't know how to say this without sounding crass, so I'm just going to say it: I think it's innappropriate to have anyone at a wedding that the bride or groom has slept with. Period. Seriously. I don't care how good of friends a person is with an ex, if you've been intimate with a person, they shouldn't come to your wedding.
He should respect your decision if you feel strongly about it. Every couple is different and will approach this issue in their own way. But, at the end of the day, you are becoming his wife, and he needs to respect your feelings.
My ex, who was my first love, HS sweetheart, and is now one of my best friends, is invited. FI doesn't care one way or the other. He knows he probably won't show up because he's a bit of an introvert, but he had no problem with me inviting him. I think its because I see him more as a friend than an ex. We did have an intimate encounter once, but it was really awkward and we both laugh about it to this day. FI knows about it and it was way before I met him, so he doesn't really care.
So yes, it depends on the relationship. If they are still friends and you know she has no further romantic interest in your FI, then invite her. If she thinks its awkward, she won't come.
I understand where you're coming from because having his ex at the wedding could be awkward. But like PP's said, it depends on their relationship. If they are still close friends then it would probably be rude to exclude her. He should not invite her "just to be polite" though. If it really makes you uncomfortable, then just talk to him and he should understand. If she does end up with an invite, just remember . . you won : )
I stayed friends with my ex from college and so did a lot of my college friends who are being invited. I've considered inviting my ex because we are still friends, but the girl he's with now is completely crazy and immature and I could not bear to have her at my wedding (shortly after they got together, she started sending herself threatening texts from an AIM SN and tried to convince him it was me. He was also "not allowed" to talk to me, so we talked only when she wasn't around). So he's not being invited b/c chances are, she'd come too.
My FI wouldn't care if I did invite him. But I would definitely talk to him first and if he said it'd make him uncomfortable, then the idea would go out the window. Talk to your FI about this. It'll work out.
Re: Fiance wants Ex invited
This depends on their relationship. Are they still friends, or are they close (like the couples who realize they just weren't meant to be together, but can remain pretty tight)? Or, do they rarely speak? If they rarely speak and don't really care to see each other, then there is no reason to invite her. And I see no reason why he should be worried about her feelings, or her dad's for that matter.
Unless, of course, they are still friends. Then, I can see why he would be worried. Regardless, though, having an ex at your wedding is weird to me.
If the ex is a good friend with whom he regularly spends time, it would be impolite not to invite her. It would be very awkward to bump into her at the grocery store when she's not invited but many of her friends and acquaintances are.
It may make FH's social life easier to just invite her, and that's something for you to consider as FMrs. If you're inviting more than 40 guests, how much will you really see her on your big day? Probably less than 10 minutes, honestly. A small sacrifice for easing DH's mind.
I'm assuming she's an ex-girlfriend. If she's an ex-wife, it would be just plain unusual to invite her. It would also be tacky to invite her if they were ever engaged to each other. If none of those apply, you may just have to bite the bullet on this one in the name of keeping the peace.
I don't know how to say this without sounding crass, so I'm just going to say it:
I think it's innappropriate to have anyone at a wedding that the bride or groom has slept with. Period.
Seriously. I don't care how good of friends a person is with an ex, if you've been intimate with a person, they shouldn't come to your wedding.
So yes, it depends on the relationship. If they are still friends and you know she has no further romantic interest in your FI, then invite her. If she thinks its awkward, she won't come.
I stayed friends with my ex from college and so did a lot of my college friends who are being invited. I've considered inviting my ex because we are still friends, but the girl he's with now is completely crazy and immature and I could not bear to have her at my wedding (shortly after they got together, she started sending herself threatening texts from an AIM SN and tried to convince him it was me. He was also "not allowed" to talk to me, so we talked only when she wasn't around). So he's not being invited b/c chances are, she'd come too.
My FI wouldn't care if I did invite him. But I would definitely talk to him first and if he said it'd make him uncomfortable, then the idea would go out the window. Talk to your FI about this. It'll work out.