Officiant?

daria24 · December 2011

We are having a LOT of trouble finding/choosing an officiant. For those of you who don't have a family pastor/rabbi/religious official, who is marrying you and how did you find him or her?

Shanee18 · December 2011

Fi's great aunt is marrying us. Since we got together and she met me, she has always joked that she "knows a great JP whenever we want to get married."

However, if I did not know anyone then I would have asked my married friends what they did. Also, you could always ask for recommendations on your local board!

HarperBargo · December 2011

Is it possible to get a family or friend to marry you? Every state's requirements are different but most are pretty easy. My FFIL is marrying us. He married my FBIL.

kipnus · December 2011

We're getting married in my home town, not our present location, so this was an issue for us as well. I didn't want to get married in my "home church" because I haven't regularly attended there since I turned 18 and moved away, and there are only a few people I still feel connected to there anymore. My first choice for an officiant was the pastor who retired when I was a teen. I really admired him for his intelligence and honesty. He wasn't pretentious or hypocritical or fake. Unfortunately, he is unable to perform our ceremony.

I can't stand the pastor that's at the church now, and the church building is big and not very aesthetically pleasing. We decided that we wanted a church that was traditional looking, with stained glass and wooden pews, and it just so happened that we found a church like this with a friendly pastor from Guatemala (Spanish as a first language, like FI!), and his son is friends with my brother. Cool connections there! We attended a couple services and spoke with him afterwards and have confirmed that that will be our church and he'll be our officiant!

daria24 · December 2011

We are getting married in PA, which is one of the few states that does not allow internet ordained officiants. They do however have something called a "Self uniting" marriage license, so basically FI can marry ourselves but we live in NY and it doesn't seem like NY State will recognize our marriage as valid.

gregamywedding · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_officiant-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:d339e490-62c3-4e3b-a61d-8e9672ee0a97Post:8c0049aa-d635-4f04-95fc-d95852d1cab7">Re: Officiant?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Is it possible to get a family or friend to marry you? Every state's requirements are different but most are pretty easy. </strong>My FFIL is marrying us. He married my FBIL.
Posted by HarperBargo[/QUOTE]

This. My step is going marry me and FI. All he has to do is get ordained online.

Sarah0335 · December 2011

We found someone off the internet and by looking at reveiws. We met him in person and talked about things. It is kind of odd that he is a stranger, but I am sure he will do a good job and it seemed like the simplest route for us.

franklissa · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_officiant-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:d339e490-62c3-4e3b-a61d-8e9672ee0a97Post:99e24552-58f4-4e8b-8a6a-ecb67b84d8e1">Re: Officiant?</a>:
[QUOTE]We found someone off the internet and by looking at reveiws. We met him in person and talked about things. It is kind of odd that he is a stranger, but I am sure he will do a good job and it seemed like the simplest route for us.
Posted by Sarah0335[/QUOTE]
This is how we found our officaint as well. I called a few different ones but choose the one we picked because I really liked her and she was able to do our ceremony the way we want it to be.

kdp574 · December 2011

we had our best friend get ordained online. it was super easy and only $25. This way we can customize the ceremony so it's personal to us! Websites have you follow the procedure for your state's guidelines!

leah2489 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_officiant-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:d339e490-62c3-4e3b-a61d-8e9672ee0a97Post:99e24552-58f4-4e8b-8a6a-ecb67b84d8e1">Re: Officiant?</a>:
[QUOTE]We found someone off the internet and by looking at reveiws. We met him in person and talked about things. It is kind of odd that he is a stranger, but I am sure he will do a good job and it seemed like the simplest route for us.
Posted by Sarah0335[/QUOTE]

This is basically how we did it too. When I had it narrowed down I posted on my local board to see if they had any experience with either officiant.

CvilleClaire · December 2011

WeddingWire and your regional wedding magazines/websites are a good place to start.

There are plenty of independent ministers out there and they may advertise in the regional wedding publications/sites.

You can always take it to Facebook, too. Ask people if they liked their officient or if they know anyone local who is independent.

Half my town seems to have been married by the same woman. The other half seems to have been married by 3-4 others. I, luckily, have a neighbor who is a pastor of a church in town and she was more than happy to marry us. She even supplied us with our little quiz.

L&J2012 · December 2011

We found ours on WeddingWire. We e-mailed her and met with her and she was super friendly and helpful.

goodtobeking · December 2011

Can you ask other vendors opinions?? While reseraching photography vendors, our dream photogs (didn't end up booking... too expensive, im getting photo and video for less than the price of their photos... but they do amazing work)

Anyway... they have obviously photographed and been through tons of ceremonies in the area we are going to be... and they are a little offbeat fun like us... and we ended up choosing the officiant they used to get married last year!!! Had great opinions and insight to other local officiants which helped us out a ton!!

GoodLuck!

daria24 · December 2011

Thanks ladies, it's been nearly impossible because we want a civil official (i.e. not someone who is "ordained") and whenever I ask any vendors for help, they look at me like I have three heads. And PA doesn't have JOP anymore. So we may have to just start calling random judges and see who would be willing to do it, or do a self-uniting ceremony and then go to the NY courthouse to get "married" again to get it recognized here. Oy.

studioartist2 · January 2012

I would really caution against having a friend or family member ordained online to marry you. They have no experience, are unfamiliar with etiquette, has never written or organized a ceremony and can present so many legal issues it can become your nightmare.

Find a professional to bring your dream day to life. Spending a few bucks for a lifetime of memories makes a lot of sense!

Officiant?

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