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Tell me the truth...

QTsgirl522QTsgirl522
1000 Comments Combo Breaker
in Pennsylvania-Philadelphia
I found out last night that DH's brother is getting married on my birthday and I'm upset.  Not hugely upset but definitely bummed.  We all get along great when we are together and they absolutely knew it was my birthday.  I highly doubt that it was the only date available (I'll find out for sure later today).  They are getting married in upstate NY, over 8 hours away, at a lake.  It's not a typical wedding venue and we have to stay in cabins for the weekend.  I am so afraid of bugs.  Plus I'm going to be super far from my family and friends on my b-day. 

Thanks for letting me vent... feel free to tell me I'm being selfish, stupid, whatever. 
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Re: Tell me the truth...

  • mana8503mana8503 member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    No, I would be upset too.  Especially if they knew it was your bday and making you go 8 hrs away from family.  I had a wedding on my bday once and I was bitter.
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  • LadyJ10LadyJ10 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I have to admit, I'm bummed that DH's friend is getting married on my birthday this year -- I only turn 30 once AND my birthday is on a Saturday. So we're going to be hanging out with his friends, but I would much rather be hanging out with my friends!

    I think it's normal to feel a little bummed, but good to look on the bright side -- free booze on your birthday!!!
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  • CleverGirl01CleverGirl01 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Um, selfish much? Are you serious? I think it's really selfish of you to worry more about your birthday (which happens every year by the way) then your DH's brothers wedding. If you are upset just tell him you can't go because you hate bugs and your family wants to take you out for cake and ice cream.
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  • amy727amy727 member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Is it a milestone birthday?  I don't make a big deal out of my birthdays so it wouldn't bother me. 

    Is that a time of year or date that is significant for them?
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  • dibsontopdibsontop member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I'd be a little bummed but at least it's only one year.  It's not like you'll be required to spend every year with them.  However, maybe you could spin this into an annual joint bday/anniversary vacation  ;)

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  • Bean32Bean32 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would be a little bummed too, but it's a good reason to celebrate your birthday a week early!
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  • jenmac628jenmac628
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011

    We are having ours the day after one of our GM bdays (its our 5 year anniversary though so the date was significant to us and its not 8 hours away from him) so...I can't really throw stones at your BIL b/c we are in the same situation!
    but...maybe there was something (besides it being booked) on other weekends of that month? I would be bummed too but I am sure it wasn't intentional and I would just try and make the most out of it.

    Its not selfish or stupid though- its just the way that you feel, you can't help it :)

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  • spanglerwedding2012spanglerwedding2012
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm sure they didn't choose this date to purposefully upset you. I'd be bummed, especially if it's a milestone birthday - but it is what it is, no sense in getting down about it. Go to the wedding, have a blast, be happy for the couple. And maybe you can make plans with your friends the weekend before or the weekend after?
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  • ooodsieooodsie
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't be upset by this.. I'd actually think it might be fun - maybe they'd do something special at the wedding for you if they are aware of it (we did that for someone at ours, and brought a mini cake out for them).   Unless it's a milestone birthday that you've had a big party or trip planned for for a while, I wouldn't be upset.  
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  • ButtonsPepperButtonsPepper member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Our wedding was on my cousins birthday, and one of DH's groomsmens birthday.
    My brothers wedding in sept. is on my other brothers birthday, when planning my wedding hte last thing I was thinking about was someone elses birthday... and I don't think I'd be bothered by it :-( sorry. Celebrate the night before or weekend before with family and friends, then drink on BIL's dime on your birthday and have fun!
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    It seems a bit OTT to be honest.  

     I'm never near my family or my "home" friends on my birthday.  
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  • QTsgirl522QTsgirl522
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Thanks everyone.  I just needed to vent because I can't say anything to the family.  I'm sure it will be a good time although I'm hoping not to be able to drink by then if you know what I mean ;)  I don't want them to do a cake or anything like that for me.  I want it to be their day.  I just also want to be able to be with my friends.  Oh well.
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  • RecoveringActorRecoveringActor member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011

    QT--I totally understand.  A few years ago, Gzilla was groomsmen on his birthday.  He was with all of his friends, but no one remembered to wish him a happy birthday, and he was a bit bummed.  And I think our wedding is the bride from that wedding's birthday.  Obviously we didn't do it on purpose, but I still think it's a little funny.

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  • jelybeancgjelybeancg
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    FI's brother & sister-in-law were to be getting married on his birthday. When they announced the date he said, "oh, i will never forget your anniversary since it is my birthday". They moved the wedding to the next week. He didn't ask them to but they wanted to. I think he would have been bummed if he was not acknowledged on his birthday. Also, I guess they figure they didn't want to have to choose whether or not to celebrate their anniversary or his bday every year. And also, limits their pool of babysitters for anniversary celebrations.

    A moot point now since his SIL is due to give birth to twins on his 30th this year.
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  • angel33284angel33284 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    First I'll say that you are an adult and not ten years old. So why your birthday is such a big deal I have no idea. Second, Who says you can't celebrate it the week before or after? Are you gonna tell me your birthday has never fallen on a Wednesday, but you gathered all your friends together the following Saturday.

    Selfish would be to not go to the wedding because of it, so you're not being selfish, but you're not exactly being an adult about the whole thing.
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