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Wedding date...

Carla1019Carla1019
1000 Comments
in African American Weddings
Recently found out that our wedding date is on FFIL B-day. I am disappointed that FI didn't tell me this BEFORE we booked all the venues. So yesterday he comes to me and asks if we could have a separate cake for his father at our wedding? ummm no!

I said we can have a cake at the rehearsal dinner and recognize him there. I really hate that he did not tell me this information before. Now every year our anniversary and his father's B-Day is on the same day. He says it's not a big deal but it bothers me. I would have never choose that date if I knew. Oh well, life goes on.
Wedding date July 7, 2012
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Re: Wedding date...

  • tyboydtyboyd member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Is it possible to see if the venue will let you move the date a week up or back? And for the b-day cake at the wedding... -_-  *Blank stare*

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  • cincy2011cincy2011 member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Oh I'm sorry to hear that!  Does your FFIL live in the same city?  If not, it may not be as big of a deal that his b-day is on your wedding anniversary.  But I totally agree, it would have been nice to know in advance that his birthday was the wedding date.  But that's men - they aren't into the details!  :)
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  • Carla1019Carla1019
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yes, FFIL lives in the same city and when FMIL heard our date she asked why would we do that. Just a mess. I'm not going to move the date because then we would have to resign all our contracts. Photog, Band, Church, etc...

    It's just not worth the hassle.
    Wedding date July 7, 2012
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  • TNMurrayTNMurray member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You are over a year out. It is worth the hassle now especially if you don't like the fact that you are sharing the date.  It will come off selfish to guest, even if you didn't know before you booked.

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  • lil01lil01
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Since you have some time, I would call the vendors to see if other dates you would consider are available. You never know....they may be. All it takes is to change the date on the contract. We changed our date 3 times & all of vendors were still available (thank goodness).

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  • 2010Bride2be2010Bride2be
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Is the issue that you just don't want to share your wedding date with your FFIL's birthday? Or is it the cake and acknowledging his birthday at your reception?

    If its about the cake, there is always going to be some kind of date conflict with someone's birthday, anniversary, graduation, etc. I don't see anything wrong with getting a cake to be presented to your FFIL at your reception and acknowledging his birthday. My parents' 38th wedding anniversary is 2 days before our wedding and we're presenting them with a 2 tiered replica of their wedding cake during our reception and they will dance to 'their song'.
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  • mahoganieyesmahoganieyes
    Ninth Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I agree with 2010Bride. There will always be a birthday, anniv whatever with dates so if you feel comfortable then stick with it. Does the family do something special for his birthday like go out of town? If not, then I don't see what's the big deal. Not like he's missing out or compromising something to attend the wedding...kwim? One of fi's bm birthday is on our rehearsal dinner day, so we plan on doing a nice suprised birthday cake. Nothing big but sweet and simple. I can understand not wanting to break away from wedding fesitivites and doing a birthday cake, plus that will take from your cake and $$$ wasted.


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  • kiyamurphkiyamurph
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Maybe I just have blinders on, but I honestly don't know what the big deal is.  I don't understand why people get upset that a wedding date is on someone else's birthday because like pp said there's always going to be someone's birthday, anniversary, etc.  Do they throw a huge bash for his dad every year or something?  At the end of the day, your wedding is ONE day and I'm sure his dad can share his birthday with your wedding.  I don't blame you for not wanting to change your date, it's a huge a hassle so I would just let it be.
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  • lsk40lsk40 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I don't see what the big deal is I wouldn't change the date if it was a big deal then FI should have told you but if he isn't making a big deal about it then I wouldn't worry about it I wouldn't care if my son got married on my birthday
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  • island07b2bisland07b2b member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    IThe FH and I went through several dates before we picked the one we have.  We made it a point to avoid any sibling wedding dates, birthdays, and his first marriage month (October) .  I had to give up some of my first choice dates but I really wanted us to have our own date.  That was very important to me.  So, I completely understand your frustration. 



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  • prettymami2prettymami2
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yeah I think the rehearsal dinner may be a bit more appropriate lol. Not at the wedding, it's a no. That's your shine moment.
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