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rsvp venting

Tattoedprincess1Tattoedprincess1 member
First Comment
in Maryland-Baltimore
Ok so I guess I as brought up with a little bit more common courtesy then some people.  But I always thought that when you are invited to a wedding you rsvp with the number of people coming that the invite was actually addressed too. Or am I wrong?  I have a couple of my FI family & family friends rsvp to us with more people then we actually invited.  It is causing stress between us because it is not in our budget for extra people and is to nice to tell them that.  I just don't know what to do.  At this point we are 38 days from the wedding and I am hoping I don't get anymore rsvp.  Should he tell these people that we just can not accommodate the extra people or just suck it up and deal with it???
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Re: rsvp venting

  • arbolitaarbolita
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If it's not in your budget for extra people, and they are your FI's  friends/family, then he needs to be the one to explain that to them.
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  • gottahavashortigottahavashorti member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Call them and tell them that you will be unable to accommodate the additional guests.
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  • LauraT25LauraT25
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Call them, or have FI call them if they're his friends/family, and explain that you're sorry, but due to budget (maybe even space constraints) you can't add anyone else to the guest list.

    FWIW, I am always shocked to hear how common this is, since it seems to me that everyone I know agrees that it would not even occur to them to add someone to an invite.  But I hear about it all the time, so I'm expecting it will probably happen to me as well.
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  • alexandramezzoalexandramezzo member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I have been fortunate that this has not happened to me...yet(?).  I did have someone email and ask if his 9 month-old baby could come.  I was frustrated because there were 4 messages within the invitation stating it was an adult reception:

    Mr. & Mrs. Smith on the outer envelope
    John & Jane on the inner envelope
    "We have reserved 2 seats in your honor" on the RSVP card
    "Adult Cocktail Hour & Reception" on Reception card

    But, some people never read, etc...  I wrote back saying that me and my FI decided on an adult reception and thank you for understanding.  They responded that they understood and that they were still excited to come!

    I think it would be best for you FI to call his friends/family and explain in a nice way that you are unable to accomodate extra guests.

    I'm sorry you're having to go through this!
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  • Kitcat106Kitcat106 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I went through the same thing. Our invitations clearly stated who was invited, yet we had 3 people respond and add an additional person. We waited until the RSVP deadline to make a decision on what we would do. We thought if we had enough people decline we may be able to accommodate these extra people. In the end we could not accommodate these extra people. We contacted the guests who added a person and politely explained our situation. They said they understood.

    Our weddin was Sunday. The one guy who RSVP'd and added an extra person never even showed up to the wedding! This was after we explained that we could not accommodate his guest (I assume he wanted to bring a date; he does not have a steady girlfriend) and, of course, it was after we had already paid for his meal. So far no ecplanation from him as to why he could not make it. So frustrating! The RSVP process was my least favoriate part of planning!
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  • strawberrycrzstrawberrycrz member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I've heard lots of people complain about this...thats why i'm going to write in how many seats are reserved for them on their rsvp card so they can't write it in themselves.    I'm sorry that this is happening, and I would do as PP's said and call them and explain that there just isn't enough room. 
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  • rands09rands09
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I had this happen on 3 invites...which, out of about 60 that we sent out, was fairly good, I guess!

    Both instances were family - an Aunt on my Mom's side, and two on my Step-Dad's side. In each case, my Mom called and explained that we would be unable to accomodate any guests other than those invited. In each instance, they understood. It turns out that we may be able to accomodate my two cousins that one Aunt wanted to bring with her, now that the RSVP deadline is approaching (it's next Saturday) and we have a more clearer idea of what the count will look like.

    I wish I had thought to include the number of seats reserved! What a good idea :-)

    Good Luck!
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  • gottahavashortigottahavashorti member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We personalized them with names so they just check whether each person is attending since we had to have our RSVP date during a pretty busy time for us. Hopefully there will be less add ons that we have to call that way, but I guess I'll find out in the next few weeks.
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  • Tattoedprincess1Tattoedprincess1 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Just wanted to update everyone.  My FI finally called the people that added more guest we haven't heard from one of them and the others told him that none of them were going to come to the wedding.  I am sad for my FI because they are people he has known since he was a kids but it is just no in out budget for them to bring 4 extra people to the wedding.  He says he is fine with it.  Other then that everything is going well. The RSVP dead line was today and we got all but one back.
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