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Question about rehearsal dinner and who to invite

ashleestadtashleestadt member
First Comment First Anniversary
in Pre-wedding Parties
Okay, so I've read countless articles and forum posts about who to invite to the rehearsal dinner and almost all of them say that it's rude not to invite people's significant others/spouses. I understand the etiquette here, but after my fiance and I looked at the list of parents, grandparents, wedding party, the parents of the kids who are in the wedding, and other people who would be present at the rehearsal (readers, musicians), the number is at about 30. After factoring in everyone's sig. others/spouses, the number is around 50. Bottom line: would it be wrong to not invite sig. others/spouses? I don't want this to turn into a "wedding before the wedding," plus I'm trying to keep my future in-laws in mind as they are paying for the dinner but they aren't very well-off, financially speaking. Also, do readers and musicians need to be at the rehearsal? Thanks!
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Re: Question about rehearsal dinner and who to invite

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    MrsNerraw13MrsNerraw13 member
    First Comment
    The RD is for people who are in the wedding like bridal party. In my opinion readers and musicians do not need to come to the rehearsal dinner. Grandparents do no need to be invited unless they are playing a role in the WP. ( yes i know that sounds bad but they will be at the wedding) 

    Maybe you could offer to help pay for some of it? 

    Take your own advice its rude to not invite SO.

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    banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    I think the readers must be invited.   It was necessary practice for them to be at the rehearsal.

    You don't need to invite aunts and uncles though.   Our RD guest list was our readers, WP, siblings all their SOs and our parents plus 3 OOT guests.
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    bburkelbburkel
    First Comment
    Anyone at the rehearsal (readers, musicians, officiant, bridal party, etc) should be invited to the rehearsal dinner.  And, I agree with inviting spouses/significant others.  Ours is going to end up being 50 people, but we are doing our rehearsal dinner as a catered BBQ at a park, so keeping the cost fairly minimal.

    As someone who has played music for multiple weddings, the rehearsal is a very nice thing to have.  Those that haven't had rehearsals have been somewhat of a timing disaster, especially if you are doing multiple musical numbers during the processional.
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    QueenOfTheSeaQueenOfTheSea
    First Comment
    If you are getting married at a church, heads up that some churches require a rehearsal (if you were thinking that you may not have one.)  I know ours does.  Also, if you are having a church wedding, talk to your officiant about who to invite.  While some people say that musicians or readers really don't need to be there, some officiants and churches have their way of doing things.  And some officiants want to tell people about their cues and what not, rather than hope that you do it (because brides do get busy and forget to pass things along or forget who they told).  So I would suggest talking to your officiant about what he prefers and expects and then go from there, that way you have your bases covered with him/her and you don't leave someone out that does need to be there!
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