Just Engaged and Proposals

Re: Engagement ring advice

  • I say pick your battles.  Most guys feel like they need to buy their FI a ring, so I think you should just let him.  If it will make him happy, let him do it.
  • I don't have a ring either, by choice rather than financial circumstances. Reasons including a short engagement, a desire to spend our money elsewhere, and a lack of interest in jewellery overall. So, instead we spent a bit more on our wedding rings to get something unique.

    If FI REALLY wants to get you one, and you will wear it, then I say he can go ahead. If his budget is not huge, you can consider alternative stones to diamonds - like opals, sapphires (which some in many colours), tanzanite, etcetera which are far more affordable and make a statement all of their own (FI and I are getting sapphire wedding rings for example).

    However, my own take is that his family needs to mind their own business. When people ask to see my ring, I just let them know we chose not to go that route - and don't entertain the topic any further. The thing is...there are always going to be people in your lives who try and butt in with their own "stuff" and feelings on "how things should be" - if you can't stand up for yourselves now, when are you?
  • I found your post kind of confusing. So you'd rather have a cheap ring to show people instead of holding your ground? IMO if you really dont want a ring, you need to have a serious talk with your fi. Seems kind of like you are looking at family as a 'competion' on who has the best things (you mentioned having a house before your sister, his family thinks you should have a ring). Giving his family a simple "Fi and I decided the money would be better spent on something else" should shut them up, and if it doesnt then ignore it. You can always settle with your Fi and tell him to put away whatever money he would spend on a ring to get you one for your 1 year anniv.
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  • I agree with Tennis. Stick to your guns and if you don't want the ring, don't get one. You have to live with yourself and your choices and it's non of their beeswax.
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  • I would stand your ground and explain that especially in times like these money could be spent on other things ie the house he is building.

    Don't let others opinion influence your decision
  • I agree with everyone else if you truly don't want a ring don't allow him to buy one for you. I didn't have a ring for a while until a few months ago a new ring was siting on me bed. I think the wedding band is more important anyway.
  • Nothing says you need to have an engagement ring. But if it really bugs your fiance then maybe you could agree on a cheaper ring. You dont need to spend thousands or even hundreds of dollars on a ring. Maybe pick out something with blue stones so on the day of it can be your something blue. Or pick out a basic band that you can ad diamonds to. Then you could have the band as your e-ring and add a diamond for the wedding day, etc. Or you could just stick to your reasoning and tell people why you would prefer not to have an e-ring.
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  • I agree- if you really don't want one, don't get one. However if he really feels like he would like to get you one, I think he needs to be the one to realize it may be a while before he can afford the one he wants to give you.

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  • I just want to say kudos to you for being so practical and thoughtful. Lots of girls would throw tantrums about not having a ring and you can see the big picture. I think that's awesome.
  • You could also look into moissanite if you do decide on a ring. It's much cheaper than diamonds but the 2nd hardest gemstone next to diamonds (so it's durable). GL!
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