verrrry close to a mental breakdown

jaycare2012 · July 2012

Hey girls,

I know I haven't been around lately, but I need some advice on how to deal with this stress.

I am not only dealing with all of the bulls**t that is my wedding party, let's just say anything that could have gone wrong has, but FI lost his job, got a new one but its a commisions only thing so he hasn't made a dime yet.

He is also being a complete jerk, I don't know if i can afford my wedding now and its too late to turn back.

I don't really want to burden everyone with all the details, I just need to know how i can deal with all this stress. I've been pretty good with putting on a show and seeming like i have a care-free attitude about it, but im ready to cry at any moment and/or pull all my hair out!

Help please!

BMcLeodTeam · July 2012

If you're willing to share some details about your budget maybe we can help find a way to make some cuts? I recently cut some stuff and its helped a lot with the budget which in turn helped with my stress :

jaycare2012 · July 2012

So my original budget was 10k, which didn't work out because everything is way more expensive than i though.

Here are the major things within my budget and what they are costing me

Donation to church- $300 (this was originally $200, althought they have since raised everything, I know that I could say that I cannot afford it, but I would rather not cut back on this)

Ceremony Music- $150 (We only had the option to use the organist at the church, we cannot bring in anyone and this is his fee)

Wedding Co-Ordinator- $150 (Again, provided by the church and we were really not given a choice, she has been very helpful)

Flowers- $586 (I am getting only the wedding party and our parents flowers, we cut out the ushers and the readers to vut down on costs, this price is for 16 people)

Reception- $565 (This is the price of the hall itself not including food or drinks, it does however include basic linens, set up, take down, all the dishes and cutlery etc)

Food- approx $3.943 (This place has a wonderful menu, and we chose an option that gave us two entrees, desserts, coffee tea, appetizers, whole works. They only have one other option that would be feasable and that would be approx$3, 384. We cannot being in another caterer, and I wouldn't want to as this chef's cook is AMAZING. Also, this is for 100 people)

Beverages- approx $723 (it is $8 a person +tax, which includes all fountain drinks, glasswear etc)

Cake- $225 (We are getting EXACTLY what we wanted, and didn't think it was overly priced for what we are getting)

Reception Music- $875 (This is for music from 4PM-1AM, including a wireless mic and the MC, a couple basic lighting as the venue is not that big)

Chair Covers- $242 (this also includes our table runners, this is also an approx number based on how many guests)

Centrepeices- $149 (This is an approx, we might not need the full amount, this also include 3 basic uplighting for behind the headtable, we didn't want a super plain wedding, so we wanted to spend the $60 to make it look a little nicer)

Photographer- $1695 (This is for the whole day, and she did a free engagement session and we will be getting one photobook and a CD with all the pictures)

Tux- $183 (I thought this was a pretty good price, includes everything except for his underwear for the day, including an extra shirt)

Anyway these are the things that I still have to pay, everything else is already paid for.

BMcLeodTeam · July 2012

K, so its not going to be easy to cut back as anything you've given a lower option for you've essentially said you don't want lol The first thing that stood out to me though is a cut I made chair covers. Yes they are nice but if money is an issue they are really a luxery item that people honestly won't remember you had.

jaycare2012 · July 2012

true, i was thinking of doing that .... except for the fact that the chairs at the reception hall are the worst red-pink-coral? colour.. i dont even know how to explain it, but they are the worst. and while i should cut them out, i think i would be more upset that they looked so ugly with everything else in the room and cry. lol i know its an excuse but they really are that ugly, i wish i had a picture to show you lol

southofnormal · July 2012

Cut back on your photog. Do they really need to be there all day?

SoonToBeStoll · July 2012

I second the chair covers. With all that is going on and how wonderful every other part of the reception will be decorated not to mention Y-O-U people won't even notice nor remember the chairs...

rbwashington2012 · July 2012

*hugs* I am right with you on that stress level. I had to make serious cuts in the last month and even some addtions just last night but it looks like its going to work itself out on our end. I am with PP, I had chair covers and sashes myself but those are a luxury and since I have kids attending, I would hate their little greasy hands getting those super dirty. So I would cut those out quickly and no one is going to notice the chairs. Sometimes you have to look at it from the bigger picture, they could be standing up the whole time instead of having a chair to sit in. The only other areas I could say try to fix a cut is the catering (if the other option will save money go for it. can you explain what the second option will have), beverages (that is a LOT for 100 people and to say its 8 bucks a person PLUS tax would opt me to have an cash bar for anything other than coffee, tea, water, and sodas, but depends on your area), the reception music (maybe scale it back a little bit?) and the photographer (I had to do this with mine as well to a lower package that work out and I still have all day coverage. Will she be providing more than just her to do the photos or will it be just her?)

I hope this helps you out and calms your nerves some. *hugs* You are not in this alone darling and wish you the best of luck

WLevine75 · July 2012

I also cut the chair covers out as well. I really wanted them, but I needed to cut something out.

Nikki71 · July 2012

I agree 100% -- lose the chair covers! Also, having your wedding photographer cut by an hour or two should help some. Also, do you know all your invited guests will attend? You might be saving money just by having people unable to attend.

doublenn · July 2012

Could you do without the reception music? If they have speakers, you could hook up an iPod instead?

Also, I understand that church only allows their own organist, but could you skip the organ altogether, and have a friend play something else (like violin) instead? Or are you only allowed to have the organ as the instrument?

verrrry close to a mental breakdown

Re: verrrry close to a mental breakdown

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