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Asking BM's and GM to be in wedding party

chiboo9chiboo9 member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Moms and Maids
Any cute/cool/fun ways to ask your bridesmaids and groomsmen to be in your wedding party? We want to make it special to let them know how important it would be for us to have them stand up at our wedding. We don't want to do the usual phone call, text, facebook route; not that anything's wrong with it. Like I said, we just want to make it special. :) Thanks in advance!!
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Re: Asking BM's and GM to be in wedding party

  • em01092em01092 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I like the handwritten note idea. Buy some cute stationary, write about how much they mean to you, ask them to be a BM/GM, and mail them the letters. 
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  • jacki8788jacki8788 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_asking-bms-gm-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:cb282dec-e0a7-48a5-86ba-58815e0c9bdfPost:2a6a58b7-ecb5-4cc4-bde1-d8e6f6131686">Re: Asking BM's and GM to be in wedding party</a>:
    [QUOTE]Write them heartfelt note. P.S. Your bio says your wedding is in September 2012. Don't ask anyone until around six months out......it's really too early to think about a WP at this point.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]


    I don't think it's too early to start thinking about your wedding party; my wedding is in June 2012 and we've already asked everyone we'd like to be in the bridal party. If you know who you want and have a long engagement, I think asking a year or so in advance is fine. :)

    I've seen these before and thought they were really cute: <a href="http://www.favorideas.com/shopping/prod/IE-BRIDESMAID-NG.htm" rel='nofollow'>http://www.favorideas.com/shopping/prod/IE-BRIDESMAID-NG.htm</a>

    & also came across some cute ideas here: <a href="http://www.wedaholic.com/archives/unique_ideas_for_asking_friends_to_be_a_bridesmaid_or_matron_of_honor.php" rel='nofollow'>http://www.wedaholic.com/archives/unique_ideas_for_asking_friends_to_be_a_bridesmaid_or_matron_of_honor.php</a>
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  • mandi921vhmandi921vh member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_asking-bms-gm-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:cb282dec-e0a7-48a5-86ba-58815e0c9bdfPost:9b4dc34a-1d46-4b13-87b6-fef9e8814775">Re: Asking BM's and GM to be in wedding party</a>:
    [QUOTE]Maybe take them out to dinner and ask them that way but really, it's not necessary.  A phone call will do.  It's not like you're proposing ;-)
    Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yea, you don't need to make a big production out of it. </div>
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  • ADTonkADTonk
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_asking-bms-gm-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:cb282dec-e0a7-48a5-86ba-58815e0c9bdfPost:d26e8c35-3397-4509-9274-9c420b9c8406">Re: Asking BM's and GM to be in wedding party</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Asking BM's and GM to be in wedding party : 6-9 months is recommended on here a lot just because we've seen so many people post things like, "I don't want her in the wedding party anymore!!!!".  People think their relationships won't change, but it happens more than you think.
    Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

    This this this.  Get an idea of who you want, but don't ask them until 6-9 months out. 
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  • mpinompino member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I wanted something creative and different as well...so when I asked my girls I asked them all out to dinner to a Chinese/Sushi restaurant.  None of them knew the others were coming until everyone got there.  I had fortune cookies made that said "The day the dress, the bride the groom.  The joy the tears will all come soon.  Just one more thing there needs to be, and that is you standing next to me.  WIll you be my bridesmaid?" So they all opened them together.  Although I am not a fan of putting people on the spot in front of others, I did it anyway..lol We had a good night enjoying dinner too!
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_asking-bms-gm-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:cb282dec-e0a7-48a5-86ba-58815e0c9bdfPost:ee7a5aeb-1a6c-417b-b1a7-f1aa6dd4ad4e">Re: Asking BM's and GM to be in wedding party</a>:
    [QUOTE]I wanted something creative and different as well...so when I asked my girls I asked them all out to dinner to a Chinese/Sushi restaurant.  None of them knew the others were coming until everyone got there.  I had fortune cookies made that said "The day the dress, the bride the groom.  The joy the tears will all come soon.  Just one more thing there needs to be, and that is you standing next to me.  WIll you be my bridesmaid?" So they all opened them together.  Although I am not a fan of putting people on the spot in front of others, I did it anyway..lol We had a good night enjoying dinner too!
    Posted by mpino[/QUOTE]

    I strongly recommend ignoring this advice.  Friends should NEVER be asked in a group, on the (very small) chance that one has to decline the offer of being in the WP.

    If that's the case, does your friend who has to decline then accept so as not to ruin the "squees!!!!" of excitement, but feel backed into something that she really can't do? 

    Or does your friend who has to decline actually say "Well, to be honest....I can't be in the WP" again, ruining the excitement?

    Please ask each friend individually.  And although you said you wanted cute:  I personally think that a phone call or asking over a cup of coffee is much more personal than sending a card or a note.  You can still give them the note, or send it after they accept, but I think part of the fun is hearing the excitement in their voices.

    Happy planning.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • snorwo3snorwo3 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_asking-bms-gm-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:cb282dec-e0a7-48a5-86ba-58815e0c9bdfPost:ee7a5aeb-1a6c-417b-b1a7-f1aa6dd4ad4e">Re: Asking BM's and GM to be in wedding party</a>:
    [QUOTE]I wanted something creative and different as well...so when I asked my girls I asked them all out to dinner to a Chinese/Sushi restaurant.  None of them knew the others were coming until everyone got there.  I had fortune cookies made that said "The day the dress, the bride the groom.  The joy the tears will all come soon.  Just one more thing there needs to be, and that is you standing next to me.  WIll you be my bridesmaid?" So they all opened them together.  Although I am not a fan of putting people on the spot in front of others, I did it anyway..lol We had a good night enjoying dinner too!
    Posted by mpino[/QUOTE]

    <div>I do not agree with this AT ALL. While it's cute, you never know what is going on in your friends' lives and someone might have to decline. No one wants to say they can't afford to or don't have time to be in your wedding in front of a bunch of other girls who are giggly and excited.</div>
    image
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  • ChrystalandCarterChrystalandCarter member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would also not ask all at once.  One of the girl's I asked actually has this fear of being in front of people, so she declined for that reason; I totally remembered/realized that after I asked her.  I'm sure she appreciated the honor of being asked!  But imagine how awful that would have been if the girl who hated being in front of people was PUT ON THE SPOT for something like that!  NO NO NO!!!!!
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  • JagrusJagrus
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If she already knows certainly who she will like she can ask them, I already asked my ladies but my fiance is still contemplating the Gent's so he did not ask them right now. I just called them and asked them to be in the WP, also Iin person asked the MOH's if they would like to do that. Not really a mosern way but if you kow who ou want ask them.
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  • tlopes07tlopes07 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My fI and I hosted a BBQ and invited our Bridal Party over.  They thought they were coming just to hang out.  My FI gave all the GM's cigars (since they all love them) and as he handed them out, he asked them and they all said yes.  For my girls i wanted to make it more personable.  My WP is my sister (MOH), a close friend, 2 close cousins, and my SIL.  So, I made photo collages of pictures of us through out our friendship.  For my sister and 2 cousins, I also added pictures of us when we were younger as well as pictures from now, I found poems directed specifically for sister, SIL, cousin and friend.  I ended the poem with will you be my MOH or BM.  They all loved it and started crying. I also put them in a frame.  When I go over their houses now, they have them on the walls.  Just an idea :)

    Good Luck, I am sure they'll love anything you give them
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  • katiekay23katiekay23
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    invite them to a dinner party at your house...and then announce to all of them why they have been asked to be here...?

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