Wedding Party Chaos

Re: Wedding Party Chaos

• Meegles4 member

  

  August 2012

  Well, first, WPs don't have to be even. However, if you really didn't want these people in your WP b/c you were trying to keep things small, I think you should stick to your guns.
  
  Perhaps FI's SIL could do a reading? As for the brothers/ushers, that's actually a legit role, so I don't feel like you're leaving them out and I'd keep that as is. They could even be in some of the WP photos with you if you wanted.

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• Habs2Hart member

  

  August 2012

  Stick to your original plan.  Maybe you can involve them another way?  My brother acted as our MC and did an awesome job.  Can you have SIL do a reading?  Perhaps have the two brothers excort your mother down the aisle?

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• Kate61487 member

  

  August 2012

  You should ask who YOU want to stand up (and same for your FI).  If you want your brothers to have a larger role they can be bridesmen and stand on your side; if your FI wants his SIL she can be a groomswoman. 
  
  I can't tell if you're saying the stuff about your SIL b/c clearly no one who has kids can be friends with a younger person who doesn't (insert sarcastic tone) or b/c you assume with the kids she won't have the time/money/desire to be a BM.  Neither of those is a good reason to exclude her.  Just acknowledging to yourself "hey, we're just not close" is a fine reason not to have her as a BM.
  
  Bottom line it's your BP you can do what you want, but you might be able to leave it as is without hurting anyone's feelings by making your brothers feel better about their usher role.  I know in some circles ushers are second class citizens, you can make sure they still feel involved by having them in lots of the pictures, including them in the bach party and just treating them like actual members of your WP.

  

   
  

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• reisnersr member

  

  August 2012

  Thanks all for responses! I am a people pleaser, and have originally thought giving out roles such as reader and usher would make people feel included, but it seems like the role of bridesmaid/groomsmen is coveted and they are jealous. I understand a bit since I am the youngest of 4 getting married and have stood in my siblings wedding (except my sister-in-law asked only my sister and not me- talk about awkward).
  The older part I promise is NO problem. My sister-in-law has told me a thousand times she doesn't like weddings or standing up, which is whyI realy feel like she will say no.

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