Earn cash as you plan. Get a $20 gift card for every 200 points with The Knot Rewards
New York-Hudson Valley
carolsday
member
TAKE PICS BEFORE THE CEREMONEY???
Hi Ladies . I am so torn . We are having our ceremony at our Venue not at a church.
Heres the dilema , We really didnt want to see eachother before the wedding , but after speaking with photographers i realize thats really not an option .
I'm kinda getting over it but im sad about it , He is really against taking pics 1st . If we don't take the pics before the ceremony we'll miss 1/2 of our own wedding !!
Any suggestions ?? ideas ?? thoughts ?? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!
Heres the dilema , We really didnt want to see eachother before the wedding , but after speaking with photographers i realize thats really not an option .
I'm kinda getting over it but im sad about it , He is really against taking pics 1st . If we don't take the pics before the ceremony we'll miss 1/2 of our own wedding !!
Any suggestions ?? ideas ?? thoughts ?? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: TAKE PICS BEFORE THE CEREMONEY???
That said...my deal w/ my photographer is that we won't have a receiving line after the ceremony. I posted my question on the board to see what others have done. I'm told because it's not a church wedding it's not protocol what we "have" to have a receiving line and we can talk to our guests during the cocktail hour.
I told my photographer he's got a 1/2 hr to get in as many pics of the 2 of us w/ our fam for posed pics.. After that I said he can take action shots or real shots of us working the cocktail hour.
Do I feel pressed for time? Sure. My photographer feels he can make it happen.
To me I want good quality shots but I don't want to be standing there for hours taking pics....but that's just me. After having 3 sister's getting married before me and the amount of time we spent on pictures alone just blew my mind and the fact to this day they barely look at their albums proves me right. I'll get what I need to get. He will have a shot list. And if during the course of the day there's a photo I want to take he said for me to just grab him. But he said he will be no more then an arms length away from me.
That's my 2 cents for what it's worth. It's hard for us to stand our ground and do what we want but IMO it's anticlimatic if he sees me before and vice versa.
I like that my husband saw me for the first time coming down the aisle....BUT....I feel like it would have been just as special for us to have a private moment. TBH, I could barely see him up at the altar with all the flashing in my face and people distracting me from the pews. There's definitely good and bad about both ways, but if you have a tight timeframe between the ceremony and reception, you will thank yourself later if you get some pictures done beforehand.
Is it the norm these days everyone has seen their future hubby before hand?
[QUOTE]**Riss91** Oh good grief now I'm second guessing what we're doing For me, we were trying to keep something scared and traditional but I guess you also have to plan for things that may fall thu. Hmmm Is it the norm these days everyone has seen their future hubby before hand?
Posted by MYLOVE315[/QUOTE]
Don't stress! It doesn't matter what the norm is anymore - just think about what is most important to you. If you feel you'll be stressed because the timing is rushed, and doing a private moment beforehand isn't a big deal to you, then I'd go for it. If you aren't worried about having enough time and/or you can't imagine seeing him before the ceremony...then wait till after.
It's easy for me to look back and say "oh, I'd do them before" because I've already gone through it and did it the "traditional" way. It's much harder when you haven't gone through it. Didn't mean to upset you!
[QUOTE]I'm in the same position. I don't want to waiver on how I feel. i want the first time for my FI to see me is when I'm walking down the aisle.<strong> I'm not a fan of "staging" the moment. </strong>That said...my deal w/ my photographer is that we won't have a receiving line after the ceremony. I posted my question on the board to see what others have done. I'm told because it's not a church wedding it's not protocol what we "have" to have a receiving line and we can talk to our guests during the cocktail hour. I told my photographer he's got a 1/2 hr to get in as many pics of the 2 of us w/ our fam for posed pics.. After that I said he can take action shots or real shots of us working the cocktail hour. Do I feel pressed for time? Sure. My photographer feels he can make it happen. To me I want good quality shots but I don't want to be standing there for hours taking pics....but that's just me. After having 3 sister's getting married before me and the amount of time we spent on pictures alone just blew my mind and the fact to this day they barely look at their albums proves me right. I'll get what I need to get. He will have a shot list. And if during the course of the day there's a photo I want to take he said for me to just grab him. But he said he will be no more then an arms length away from me. That's my 2 cents for what it's worth. It's hard for us to stand our ground and do what we want but IMO it's anticlimatic if he sees me before and vice versa.
Posted by MYLOVE315[/QUOTE]
I have to completely disagree with this. I totally get that some people don't want to see each other before the ceremony and that's fine, but taking pictures beforehand has nothing to do with trying to stage a moment. Taking your pictures beforehand allows you to create a very real and personal moment. It was just me, walking towards my future husband, both of us full of anticipation and excitement, and our photographer was able to capture it all. The photos of those moments are some of my favorite of the day:
<a href="#" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '7c438e57-d48d-4069-a3ee-bab0131ee816', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/12/3/7c438e57-d48d-4069-a3ee-bab0131ee816.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>
<a href="#" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', 'c8440c50-7330-4776-99fb-be1761ddcb49', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/8/9/c8440c50-7330-4776-99fb-be1761ddcb49.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>
<a href="#" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '9a088695-9da4-4ed6-aeae-40c318b88655', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/10/14/9a088695-9da4-4ed6-aeae-40c318b88655.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>
<a href="#" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '178df6a0-5cfd-402c-88a8-7b9d79b0b591', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/7/8/178df6a0-5cfd-402c-88a8-7b9d79b0b591.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>
<a href="#" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '161286b7-7b9d-4e4d-a683-5fa44c1bb46e', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/6/6/161286b7-7b9d-4e4d-a683-5fa44c1bb46e.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>
Thank you for your input. I appreciate it. I know I have to stop worrying about "what is the norm?" and have to go by "what is the norm for us?" I neverrr knew how much wedding planning really included! I figured oh it'll be a piece of cake. Good God there's so much to think about and so many fricken details! Boy my eyes are wide open now! Yeeeeesh.
I asked my husband what he thought and he said in our situation, with the benefit of hindsight, he would have done pictures before. Because the musicians were behind, he was running around like a mad man leading up to the ceremony and was very stressed about everything and worried that I'd be upset about it. He felt like the stress of that was lingering when the processionals were starting, which made it harder for him to really be "in the moment" when seeing me for the first time. But, he also said that if we didn't have the snafu with the musicians, it wouldn't have been that bad.
kristinanddan- I agree and just to piggyback - how is seeing your husband from the aisle any LESS staged? In either scenario, there is a pre-determined set-up. Both have the ability to be equally sentimental.
my read shelf:
I agree with all - do what works for you, and there is only so much we can control and just let it flow!
[QUOTE]MYLOVE - good luck! Only you know you , so just go with whatever you feel comfortable with.Posted by Riss91[/QUOTE]
THIS!!!!! Every wedding is different and people choose certain things for certain reasons. Honestly, I am so tired of coming on this board and having people tell other people what should be done, what etiquette is, etc. it is YOUR wedding! If you want to preserve a certain moment, whatever that moment is....whether it is down the aisle for the first time, before the ceremony when you first see each other, etc. If you want to handwrite your envelopes, hire a calligrapher, print out labels, print them on your printer, stamp them, hand deliver them, who cares. IF you want to run around naked b/w the ceremony and reception, it is YOUR wedding.
I plan on taking our pictures before the ceremony b/c we don't have any space in between and the last thing I want is to lose precious party time
Thanks again everyone !
*SSAGE*
Steph - OMG I am laughing so hard! Tears rolling down my face! You go girl! I was just saying the very same thing to my friend that I was up to my eyeballs with ettiquette. When I was writing out my inner envelopes ettiquette says you should address Mr. & Mrs So & So ... I think I only did it on a few only because it was on my FI's side and he didn't know the other person's name...and I purposely did it on my sister in law's envelope. Addressed to Mr & & Mrs. she's got ettiquette so shoved up her a$$ it's not even funny. This is a girl who was aghast when she asked my sister for a salad fork and my sister just handed her a fork! She couldn't belive my sister didn't have salad forks so you get the pic! I knew if I didn't address it "properly" I knew she would say something! I just didn't want to hear her mouth.
We shall see what I'm going to do in terms of our pics? It's my FI who is insistent on attending the cocktail hour so I told him he needs to think aobut it. The 2 of us don't work well when we're pressed for time. Every time we're running late to an appt inevitablly we get into a fight by the time we get there....so whatta ya think will happen that day?!?! That's all I'm trying to avoid.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: TAKE PICS BEFORE THE CEREMONEY??? : THIS!!!!! Every wedding is different and people choose certain things for certain reasons. Honestly, I am so tired of coming on this board and having people tell other people what should be done, what etiquette is, etc. it is YOUR wedding! If you want to preserve a certain moment, whatever that moment is....whether it is down the aisle for the first time, before the ceremony when you first see each other, etc. If you want to handwrite your envelopes, hire a calligrapher, print out labels, print them on your printer, stamp them, hand deliver them, who cares. IF you want to run around naked b/w the ceremony and reception, it is YOUR wedding.
Posted by ssage[/QUOTE]
<div>LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOO</div><div>Half the people at the wedding wont know what certain etiquette is anyway!</div>
FI really likes the idea of NOT seeing each other before the ceremony, but we also don't want to spend the entire cocktail hour or longer taking pictures.
(I think whether you or not you do the first look is definitely a very person choice - some people like having that moment private while others want it as a communal experience with family and friends.)
So what we are planning on doing is taking as many pictures as we can separately before the ceremony (i.e. me with my parents, FI with his groomsmen, etc) and then the only pictures left to take after the ceremony will be the bigger group shots and the ones with just me and FI together. I also don't have a ton of people I want in the pictures (none of my grandparents are alive, we aren't having any extended family pictures) so it should go fairly quickly.
In my opinion you are paying your professional photographer a lot of money and you should be able to ask them for advice about how to make the picture taking process work for you. They can suggest different options based on their experience and you can choose what works best based on what is important to you and your FI.
We want to wait for the ceremony to see each other. That being said our ceremony is at 2pm & the cocktail hour doesn't start till 5pm so we will have time inbetween for our photos. Plus I am emailing everyone that needs to stay after the ceremony for photos so there aren't any questions. Get in, get out & on to the next location is my motto....
Best of luck! Just remember that whatever you decide to do will be best for YOU & your future hubby!