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Minnesota-Minneapolis and St. Paul
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Mini vent

KateJ10KateJ10
1000 Comments
in Minnesota-Minneapolis and St. Paul
So today is our RSVP deadline, and we invited everyone from our dept at work (we work in the same dept) and FI got an email today from the person I despise the most  that she is coming.

I got a promotion over this person, and she has been bitter about it, still 2.5 years later. She talks about me behind my back to other people at work (one of whom is my bridesmaid!! Obviously these people are going to tell me what she is saying) Things are just awkward between us, and I have tried being the bigger person and letting it go, but it honestly dragged on waaaay too long and it is to the point where I gave up.

And now she wants to come to our wedding? I just don't understand.

So- I MAY get flamed for this, but guess what? I don't care- FI and I are going to email that we are actually at capacity due to how many kids ended up coming.

Vent over.
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Re: Mini vent

  • tpender13tpender13 member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    So you invited this person, and NOW you're saying she can't come? If you dislike her so much, why was she on the guest list in the first place? I'm sorry, but this makes you look really petty.
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  • elizabethandandrewelizabethandandrew
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_mini-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:81Discussion:0becb1ee-06ea-4549-8964-35c328c1af93Post:8967e09e-1ba3-443a-ab39-1f241719ad61">Re: Mini vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]So you invited this person, and NOW you're saying she can't come? If you dislike her so much, why was she on the guest list in the first place? I'm sorry, but this makes you look really petty.
    Posted by tpender13[/QUOTE]

    This.

    You can't invite someone and them uninvite them. That's just tacky.
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  • trixie549trixie549
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_mini-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:81Discussion:0becb1ee-06ea-4549-8964-35c328c1af93Post:df08ca96-81d9-4639-a123-e2b80730866c">Re: Mini vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Mini vent : This. You can't invite someone and them uninvite them. That's just tacky.
    Posted by elizabethandandrew[/QUOTE]

    Ditto this.
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  • KateJ10KateJ10
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yep I am! And yep, I am being a bit petty- I totally own that.

    The RSVP date was actually yesterday for work people. And why was she invited? Because I couldn't invite the entire dept but not this one person, if that makes sense?

    But I guess I don't understand why you would go to a wedding where you didn't like the couple either. So weird for me.
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  • quincygirl77quincygirl77
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with the PPs.  It is unfortunate you have the added bonus of having to work professionally with this person, but man it might get really crappy at your workplace if you go through with this.  Not worth the trouble if you ask me, GL!
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  • tpender13tpender13 member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_mini-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:81Discussion:0becb1ee-06ea-4549-8964-35c328c1af93Post:da0d0dca-665d-4912-8d5d-6b9f0ba6fd5e">Re: Mini vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yep I am! And yep, I am being a bit petty- I totally own that. The RSVP date was actually yesterday for work people. And why was she invited? Because I couldn't invite the entire dept but not this one person, if that makes sense? But I guess I don't understand why you would go to a wedding where you didn't like the couple either. So weird for me.
    Posted by KateJ10[/QUOTE]

    I get that inviting coworkers is all or nothing. But why wouldn't she go? A bunch of people she knows will be there, they'll probably all be talking about it at work so if she doesn't go she'll be left out, and even if she doesn't like you why wouldn't she accept your free food and booze? I just think that this is something that you could have very easily prevented, so you don't really have the right to complain about it.
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  • KateJ10KateJ10
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yeah- we just ended up telling her that the rsvp date was yesterday and we sent in our numbers this morning, which is what is stated on the invite we sent to coworkers.

    I don't work directly with her ( in fact, I don't see her hardly EVER) so not very concerned about that part. I know I sound like a brat- but it just got under my skin thinking about having someone that despises me  so much to be there on the wedding day.

    Tpender you hit the nail on the head.
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  • shainabironshainabiron member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I actually don't blame you for doing that at all, especially since she didn't RSVP before the deadline.  I know people might think it's petty, but it's your day and things should be how you'd like. 

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  • SSaltzman87SSaltzman87 member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_mini-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:81Discussion:0becb1ee-06ea-4549-8964-35c328c1af93Post:da0d0dca-665d-4912-8d5d-6b9f0ba6fd5e">Re: Mini vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]But I guess I don't understand why you would go to a wedding where you didn't like the couple either. So weird for me.
    Posted by KateJ10[/QUOTE]
    To get free food? I dunno.<div>
    </div><div>I can see how it would be awkward for you though. Hopefully, you won't even really notice she's there because more than likely, you and FI will be pulled in countless directions.</div>
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  • LCW2LCOLCW2LCO
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    did you go thru w/ it??? Oh boy! I can totally see all sides with this... yikes. but we just didn't invite those we didn't want there... good luck!!
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  • KateJ10KateJ10
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Gah I feel like a biitch but in the end- FI is going to let her know on Monday that she  RSVPd too late and we already gave our numbers to the venue and they won't let us switch the numbers once we give them. Which isn't completely truthful but she did RSVP after our date.

    Sucky situation all around!
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  • flower_loverflower_lover member
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_mini-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:81Discussion:0becb1ee-06ea-4549-8964-35c328c1af93Post:2cb2ed5e-d5e0-43b7-9872-8feab07c406f">Re: Mini vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]Gah I feel like a biitch but in the end- FI is going to let her know on Monday that she  RSVPd too late and we already gave our numbers to the venue and they won't let us switch the numbers once we give them. Which isn't completely truthful but she did RSVP after our date. Sucky situation all around!
    Posted by KateJ10[/QUOTE]

    I hope you change your mind over the weekend and just honor her RSVP. As an outsider, I think you've got a lot to lose here. You have your RSVP numbers posted on the internet in your sig, and you have just told the world online that you are lying to her about why she cannot attend. What if all of this gets around at your workplace? Including to your boss and/or your FI's boss? Surely you wouldn't be let go for this directly, but you might be thought of as someone who lies and cannot accept responsibility for their actions.

    Only you can know if the possible fallout is worth it, but personally I think it could be a nightmare that you could easily avoid! You have said you have tried to be the bigger person, you invited her to the wedding, so it's really on you to do the right thing. I really encourage you to give this more thought. I think it you could really come off as looking like a hero for inviting her despite past differences. Maybe if she attends the wedding she will be nicer :-). Just my 2 cents, I think you'll feel alot better if you let this go.
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  • kaylas16kaylas16
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If you want to uninvite her go ahead, I am not going to tell you how to handle your wedding.  However, you probably won't even notice she's there at all, I promise!  If you think it's easier, less awkward, and could help avoid a future uncomforatable situation, I think it wouldn't be a terrible idea to let her come.

    I barely remember people I went out of my way to talk to at my wedding, let alone people I didn't get a chance to speak with!  So if you're worried about that aspect, I wouldn't be.
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