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Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Both of my parents have passed and I need help! :*(

Hi everyone,

 I got engaged about a month ago.  I am marrying the man of my dreams.  I can not wait to be his wife.  I am struggling with my family.  My father passed away in 2009 and my mother and I use to talk about her giving me away and last year she passed away.  They were the most important people to me, and now they will not even be there.  My Fiances family has not been very welcoming, actually the opposite, talking about me and disliking me.  He obviously wants his family at the wedding, and I am trying to be nice, but his grandparents have talked bad about me, his parents and his brothers.  Things are better with his mom, but she is the only one.  I know if my parents were alive they would be so excited and no one in his family is excited.  They are not helping pay or plan ANYTHING and I have reached out SEVERAL times.  My parents would at least HELP pay and be involved.  The sad thing is that because my parents have been sick for so long before they passed, my role was to take care of them, so I basically lost my friendships and have not built any new ones yet.  I always dreamed of my wedding with my closest friends and dreamed of dancing with my daddy.  I don't want to spend 30K for a wedding for his family but I also have always dreamed of a wedding.  I do not know what to do!!!! I don't want to wait to marry the man I want to be with either.  Any ideas?

Re: Both of my parents have passed and I need help! :*(

  • Have a beautiful simple smaller wedding, don't spend more than you want to but try to get the things that are most important to you (be that a great dress, a dj you love, or a lovely ceremony location).  Prioritize what you truly want.  Don't plan it just to please your FI's family, although 'if they pay they get a say'.

    Consider walking down the aisle with your FI, hand in hand toward your new life together, or any other entrance that feels right to you!
  • It sounds like you want to elope. What does your FI think about eloping?
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  • Thank You! All we have done is looked into venues and they have all been so expensive.  I want a small wedding, like a beach wedding.  Just need to find a place that is less expensive.
  • Your wedding isn't for a year and a half, so first, you should breathe.
    Then, go to your local South Florida board and post what area of South Florida you are in, and those girls will help you find a venue that is just right.

    And of course you are disappointed with how your wedding reality isn't going to match your dreams with a father and mother, etc.  But you can walk down the aisle by yourself (I did and I wouldn't change that part of the wedding at all), you can invite all of your mom's Christmas card list or list of who came to the funeral - so even if you don't have a bunch of close girlfriends (I didn't either), you can invite people who loved your mother and you.
  • You can have a wedding of your dreams with small budget.

     
  • A small wedding can still be absolutely beautiful on a budget. I'm doing a small beach wedding, with a max guest list of 30. It's just my family and my FI's family. Splurge on what you really want. For me, it was having a beach wedding at a great resort. Then for everything else, decide on what really isn't that important to you. I decided that invitations weren't very importatnt to me. I found a nice, simple DIY design at Michaels for $30.

    Don't stress over your FI's family. I know it's easier said than done. But what really matters is that you are marrying someone that you really love and want to be with. At the end of the day, you are still going to be with your FI! :) Don't settle on anything for your wedding.

    Best of luck to you!
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