Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Dont kill me.... one word, THE DOLLAR DANCE?

I know you knotties out there its asking for money, (and I am kinda with you) but in my family its plain tradition its not like my family is going to pin hundreds on us more like $1 but my mom thinks its a way to get a lil one on one time with the aunts n uncles.... to dance or not??????? PS our wedding is in Mexico and traditionally accepted. I am not out for cash gifts.

Please guide me to go with it or not?

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Re: Dont kill me.... one word, THE DOLLAR DANCE?

  • If it's a tradition in your family and people enjoy it, I say go for it.

    If it makes you uncomfortable, don't. Some people on these boards really dog on things like that but I think if it's common to your area/circles of people than go ahead.
    June 16, 2012
  • Ps. "the dollar dance" is 3 words, not 1 lol.
    June 16, 2012
  • HA GOOD ONE THREE WORDS IS RIGHT! Now thats gonna cost you $3 bucks a dance lol, kidding of course.
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  • Do it if you want to do it. If it's tradition in your family, then nobody is going to find it strange, money hungry, etc. It sounds like a lot of fun to me. Don't let anybody else down you on the idea simply b/c it's not a common practice in their area/family/customs. That's why its YOUR wedding and not theirs.

  • I think we are going to do it! We decided to make light of it and play funny songs so it will make it lighthearted and fun.
  • In your case doing a dollar dance would be fine, since your family expects it.  It's frowned upon when the B&G try to use one to "re-coup" wedding expenses. 

    P.S - I think you're lucky you only have to worry about a dollar dance...the entire two years of our engagment H and I were badgered to have what's called a Social's a fundraiser...people actually got pissed when we said we weren't having one and that we don't believe in wedding socials.
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  • I don't understand why you can't get one on one time with your relatives without charging them for it.
  • I personally think Dollar Dances are a lot of fun.  If it's a tradition in your family then you can definitely do it if you want.  If you're worried about looking greedy then you could do something like give out flowers and shots or donate the money to a charity (I've seen both done).
  • Most people will tell you not to do it if you can get away without doing it. My husband has seen them done in his family before, and suggested it. My family has never done it, and therefore, rather than make them uncomfortable, we didn't do it.

    However, there are alternatives! You can have people write good wishes/words of advice on slips of paper (put some on each table) and then have them "pay" you with those - it keeps the spirit of the tradition alive, but uses something other than money. Or you could have the DJ play a few songs that are dedicated to your aunts/uncles, and they can take turns dancing with you at that time.
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  • In Response to <a href="">Re: Dont kill me.... one word, THE DOLLAR DANCE?</a>:
    [QUOTE]If it's a tradition in your family and people enjoy it, I say go for it. If it makes you uncomfortable, don't. Some people on these boards really dog on things like that but I think if it's common to your area/circles of people than go ahead.
    Posted by acaponi87[/QUOTE]

    I agree. Amy Vanderbilt says local/family custom trumps her norms.
  • The dollar dance is pretty typical in both mine and H's family, I think we were actually the first wedding to not do one.  I didn't want to do it because I didn't want to be forced to dance with some family memebers that I'm not too crazy about, but if that's the part that you actually want to do, and the dollar dance is common in both families, then I think you are alright to do it.  If it's not common for both families, but you still want to do the dance, then the well wishes is a great compromise on the tradition.
  • If its tradition I have three words " go for it " :)
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  • It's been months since we've had a good dollar dance thread!

    If it's a family tradition and common in your region, go ahead and do it if you want to. If you don't want to, don't do it. Easy peasy.

  • And how much one-on-one time do you get during a dollar dance?  A few seconds? Unless each person that pays you $1 gets their own entire song - otherwise they are getting a few seconds.  You couldn't get that by walking around the room and personally talking to each of them? 

    Have a dollar dance but don't use the excuse that it gives you one-on-one time.

  • They aren't uncommon in my area, but I hate hate hate them, so we didn't. But if you have people who will want to do it (this part is also key, since I hate participating as a guest as well) and you want to do it yourself, then go for it.
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  • edited January 2012
    We are going to do it, but because it's pretty much unheard of NOT to have one here. I've only been to 2 wedding that didn't have it. One, we left early, so I don't actually know if they had one, and the other was my friends wedding and there was a big mess up with the DJ and by the time they got there and started playing music, pretty much everyone but WP and immediate family had left, but they had orignially planned on it.
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  • I think you should do whatever you feel comfortable with. It seems to be a tradition in our family but we didn't have one. I did go to another family member's wedding not long ago and they had one. It was fun and I danced with the bride who was my cousin. I think it's all in good fun!

  • "its not like my family is going to pin hundreds on us more like $1" That sounds so wrong lol. I'm not an advocate for doing things just for the sake of upholding a tradition. If you want to do a dollar dance, own up to it. But don't blame "tradition" for doing something.
  • The first time I saw a dollar dance was at the last wedding I attended. Since I've never seen one before, I thought it was rude and awkward (until I learned that this was relatively common). But if everyone expects it and you don't think you'll offend your guests I guess go for it.

    I love the well-wishes idea!
  • I dont' have a problem with dollar dances, especially if your family is use to it. I get that  you wouldn't want your family to have to pay for one on one time but it could bring some people out on the dance floor who would otherwise not ask you to dance. I did go to a wedding recently where you paid your dollar to the best man or whatever and when you were first in line you had to take a shot before dancing...that I was not a fan of...eww buttershots!
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  • My family from Barbados has never even heard of the dollar dance and when I mentioned it to them they thought I was crazy. Seriously, the convo ended like this:
    "sweetie if you're that strapped for cash we can give you some extra money, but charging people for a dance sounds stripper-ish, don't you think?"

    My FI and I have not stopped laughing at that convo so we're cutting it out; it's a social norm for you so enjoy! There are a few customs that even have a little purse to make it more classy! Have fun with it and play some cool songs; it really sounds great but my family hasn't gotten over it Cool
    Vacation White Knot
  • I think Kate Middleton did a dollar dance. 

    Oh, wait....she didn't?  

    I get that it's acceptable if that's what your family/social circle expect, but I just don't think it's ever a classy thing.
  • Do it!!! Especially since its a culture practice!!!! We also do a "dollar dance" where our (me and FI) family comes from (Ghana) but we don't call it a dollar dance and it is done throughout the night while the celebrant (i.e. birthday girl/boy, bride/groom etc) dances. This money is a symbol of blessings being showered onto the celebrant (i.e. bride/groom, birthday boy/girl. 

    There are many cultural practices done at weddings i.e: "jumping the broom", "lifting the bride and groom up while they are seated in their chairs during the reception" and the list goes on. I don't see people opposing these practices so why oppose this cultural one?

    Everyone has their own opinion on here and hey some may sound a little ignorant (i.e associating a cultural practice such as the dollar dance with being "less classy" or "stripperish" but I say if its cultural norm- you should do it despite what people may say or think!! 
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  • Its tradition, its your wedding, put on your purse and rock it sister !
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