I post this on facebook too... even though it's too long for facebook... oops.
Vent...Advice?
Background: My mom started dating someone new (now he is her FI) when I was 16. I met his 3 children when I was 17. I'm 26 now and the kids are between the ages of 17 - 22. I have 3 biological sisters, all older than me. I did live with my mom and her FI for a year but I'm not really close with him or his kids, but he likes to think we are all one family. Even though he doesn't call me on my birthday, and when I got my house (just this month) and he happened to pick up the phone when I called my mom, he never said one word about it, no congratulations, no questions, nothing.
So to the point - He is insulted that I didn't give a plus 1 to his kids and feels that I've insulted his family and I'm not treating them like true family. None of his kids are dating anyone right now. They just want to bring a date or a friend. My FI is angry they're acting this way, and I am too, but half of me just wants to keep piece and give them the plus ones. I know this is going to cause tension on the day of the wedding. My mom thinks it will too but she is sticking up for me and our decision on no plus ones for them. But, her FI is going to be very angry at the wedding when he sees other guests got to bring their boyfriend/girlfriend. We want to keep it below 60 people, and adding these 3 plus ones would put us over that. We have a budget we want to stick to, and although we could afford more, we just can't justify spending so much on a wedding, and these extra guests would definitely put us over budget. Do we cave and keep the peace or stand our ground and deal with the tension day of?