Would you share it with your H? (with a poll, YAY!)

Habs2Hart · January 2012

So... I sold my gown, for 75% of what I paid for it. Pretty sweet actually. It's a nice little chunk of change and my mom asked me what I am going to do with it. We're saving up for a down payment, so realistically, it should probably go towards that, but a part of me wants to be selfish and have it as fun money, since it was never really accounted for and it was my gown I sold. If H sold one of his possessions, I wouldn't expect to share the money. My mom thinks I should put it towards travel expenses for my sister's wedding.

So, I'm going to do a poll.

MattsPenguin · January 2012

I'm lame and we're looking for a down payment. Any extra cash I receive goes into our savings.

CFM102012 · January 2012

Okay so I voted for Savings but that's just where i suggest you put most of the money. You could still use some of it for something fun or a fun night out with your H.

lenergyrlah · January 2012

I think you should buy yourself something (small-ish) so that you don't feel cheated. And then put the rest into savings.

Matty143 · January 2012

I just sold my old car and to celebrate I took H and I out for dinner and some drinks. Then I used the rest to pay off the rest of a loan. I vote to save a little, spend a little.

Simply Fated · January 2012

I'd put it towards the down payment or travel expenses, but I'm in a cheap mood today, so there's that.

jemmini6 · January 2012

Maybe compromise and do half. Half toward the travel, half for fun.

amys325 · January 2012

That is awesome that you sold it for that much.

I didn't vote, but I think you definitely should keep about 50% of it for yourself and then put the rest in savings for the wedding. You did the work to sell it and you sold it instead of just preserving it and keeping it in a closet. I think you deserve something nice!

MyUserName1 · January 2012

Spend some and save some either for the travel costs or the downpayment!

(I didn't vote, btw)

amys325 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-share-h-poll-yay?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5426b9cc-872e-4791-b089-eae3cc55b3cfPost:f109436a-0914-4f4b-a2c5-f63bf3bd0411">Re: Would you share it with your H? (with a poll, YAY!)</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with Yaga in that it would depend on how it was paid for in the first place. <strong>My mom bought my dress so I would feel like I needed to offer it to her first.</strong> Sounds like you paid for it on your own so I'd probably spend some on me, spend some on us and save the rest.
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]

Don't get me wrong, the bolded is very kind of you.

But do you think that for every gift you sell, you have to offer the giver the money first?

Loopyseven · January 2012

I'd save some for the downpayment, and spend some on a new outfit or to do something fun and a little extravagant with H.

ski2play · January 2012

I am with you crfb, momma needs a new pair of shoes. Or a new suit to where to work. The rest to savings.

amys325 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-share-h-poll-yay?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5426b9cc-872e-4791-b089-eae3cc55b3cfPost:97e81899-6238-4ff9-ab5a-c086e9d70ce4">Re: Would you share it with your H? (with a poll, YAY!)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Would you share it with your H? (with a poll, YAY!) : No, but I feel different about my dress for some reason. I think because my mom and all my sisters have kept their dresses and I would feel ungrateful in a way if I sold it. I don't know if that makes sense, but it's how I feel. Good think I'm a sentimental sap and it's taking up space in my closet. :)
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]

No that makes sense...mostly because there is a family tradition of sorts going on in your family.

My mom bought my dress and did my alterations on her own...but before she did, I told her that I was planning on trashing it and donating it immediately after. She still chose to buy it for me and I still felt bad donating it about a week after the wedding, but she agreed to buy it for me under those conditions.

specialk84 · January 2012

H and I have a rule that if one of us sells something, that person gets to keep the profits, unless it was a shared item. I sold a bunch of my books, so I kept the money. If he sells his Playstation, he keeps the money. If we sell a joint item, like our old dryer, the money is for both of us.

We also have shared finances, so it's not a huge deal either way.

Habs2Hart · January 2012

My dad bought my dress. He knows I'm selling it. He thinks it's a great idea. He'd rather me have some money from it than have it sitting around in my closet. But I'm not sentimental like that, and neither is he.

I think maybe I'll set some aside and buy something nice with it, but then put the rest towards our travel expenses. My sister isn't being the most considerate bride in the world and it's not going to be a cheap wedding, for the guests anyway.

Kate61487 · January 2012

Whenever H has found money I (jokingly) ask "what are you gonna buy me?" :-) haha. In reality I'd put it straight into savings, but then wouldn't feel bad if a few weeks later I saw something I wanted to splurge on a little. But that's kind of my fiscal stance all the time - I always default to saving and because of that when I want to splurge, I do....

In my mind needs should always be taken care of before wants; so I wouldn't be comfortable spending all of it when I know we have upcoming expenses we're not yet ready for.

*edit* re-reading this is sounds like I'm suggesting you're financially irresponsible or something for wanting to splurge, and that's not at all what I meant. I think if there's something you've been wanting you should go for it, I just personally wouldn't splurge JUST to splurge, you know? And since there's nothing I'm wanting right now it'd go into savings.

sarahlm619 · January 2012

I didn't vote because I like the option of spluge a little, save more

Callmefia · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-share-h-poll-yay?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5426b9cc-872e-4791-b089-eae3cc55b3cfPost:6860bdba-5828-44c2-9492-84882f32596a">Would you share it with your H? (with a poll, YAY!)</a>:
[QUOTE]So... I sold my gown, for 75% of what I paid for it. Pretty sweet actually. It's a nice little chunk of change and my mom asked me what I am going to do with it. We're saving up for a down payment, so realistically, it should probably go towards that, but a part of me wants to be selfish and have it as fun money, since it was never really accounted for and it was my gown I sold. <strong> If H sold one of his possessions, I wouldn't expect to share the money. </strong> My mom thinks I should put it towards travel expenses for my sister's wedding. So, I'm going to do a poll.
Posted by Habs2Hart[/QUOTE]

I get that, but I still think I would talk to him about it before making any decisions. My FI and I don't share finances yet, but we typically consult with each other on big purchases and what to do with bonuses and stuff when we get them.

That being said, I would probably approach it more of a "Hey I got this money and I think I'd like to spend it on this, this, and that. What do you think?"

Habs2Hart · January 2012

I never said I wasn't going to discuss it with him. Of course I discuss major purchases with my husband. I'm just asking what others would do.

DeadUtopia · January 2012

I didn't read all the posts, but I think I would maybe split the money up and have a little fun but put half of it into savings. That way, you can spoil yourself a bit, but still be somewhat responsible with it?

Cortney1982 · January 2012

I'd divvy it up. Set aside travel expenses, treat yourself to something small, and put the rest towards a down payment.

Karen's MOH · January 2012

I would probably buy myself something small (or save it for a little splurge when I want one if there isn't anything I was pining after at the moment) and put the rest info savings/use it towards the wedding. In my mind, money is money, however you want to ear mark it. So, whether you say its for the downpayment, or it's for the sister's wedding, you have x dollars and you are going to spend y on one and z on the other.

I treat my (not so big) bonus every year the same one-- I get a little treat for myself, the rest goes into savings.

Would you share it with your H? (with a poll, YAY!)

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