What would you do in this situation?

Re: What would you do in this situation?

• dtbluv member

  

  November 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_what-would-you-do-in-this-situation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:17ec70b6-5090-4c0e-8720-dc1098a238d6Post:c5ada9f7-a55a-4840-8bf8-19558b1059d8">What would you do in this situation?</a>:
  [QUOTE]FI and I were debating moving the wedding date up. It wasn't a for sure thing yet. MOH got engaged and picked our date on the grounds that she thought we were moving ours up. Once she learned we were keeping our original date, she moved her up 3 weeks from ours. MOH was with me when I toured and later booked a venue. She has know decided to book the same venue. Our colors are peach and ivory with moss accents in flowers and decor....her's is a pastel pink with "forest green" accents. My wedding coordinator is a family friend/co-worker called me last night to inform me that she received an email from my MOH. We had been using my my wedding board on Pinterest to stay on the same page with the wedding. Apparently my lovely MOH decided to raid my pinterest board and email those pictures to my coordinator asking her if she would help her with her own wedding. After my coordinator noticed that the pictures were the same what I wanted, she declined to help her. Do I have a right to be upset about this? I completely understand that every bride has a right to make their day special and have it completely the way they want it, but with all the similarities going on between the two weddings, I can't help but think it is deliberate. I don't really understand why she would do something like this. I tried to confront her about it but she insists she doesn't know what I am talking about.
  Posted by WMSKTF[/QUOTE]
  
  I think you're over-reacting. You have over a year until your wedding, and since your MOH's wedding is after yours she has just as long, so I'm assuming you are both still in the early planning stages of your wedding.  And, your MOH has obviously been helping you with the planning.  You saw a venue and fell in love with it, but she was right there with you.  And, you are using a wedding planner you're comfortable with, so your MOH probably assumed she'd be comfortable with her too.  And, 90% of the things I pin on pinterest are repinned from my friends (I hate even having to say that, it feels so ridiculous).  So what if she repinned a bunch of your stuff?  You guys have similar tastes, she likes the same things you like, Not A Big Deal.
  
  <div>I don't think she's "copying you" on purpose, but it's a big-wedding-planning-world out there, and she might be feeling overwhelmed and since it is still SO FAR AWAY she is just getting a basic idea of what she might like.  
  
  And even if you both have similar weddings, even if they're very similar, they'll still be different, because you're two different couples.  I'd let it go if I wanted to keep my friend, this sounds like a non-issue that could be blown way out of proportion if you get all down on your MOH for liking the same things you like.
  
  It sounds like she changed her wedding date so it wouldn't interfere with yours, good for her.  Chill out, thank her for helping you this far, and apologize for letting wedding-planning make you a little crazy and thinking she was out to steal your PPD.
  
  Also, just out of curiousity, what did your FI say when you told him about this?</div>

  Report0 Reply
• Jen4948 member

  

  November 2012

  If you don't want her to copy you, don't share the details of your plans with her.  If she asks you for them, respond, "Why do you want to know?" If she says she's curious, tell her, "I'm sorry, but I'm not ready to reveal them right now," and keep responding that if she pushes.

  Report0 Reply
• WMSKTF

  

  November 2012 edited November 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_what-would-you-do-in-this-situation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:17ec70b6-5090-4c0e-8720-dc1098a238d6Post:3cac00a1-020a-43d6-b60d-b1f9da22b3f4">Re: What would you do in this situation?</a>:
  [QUOTE]In Response to What would you do in this situation? : I think you're over-reacting. You have over a year until your wedding, and since your MOH's wedding is after yours she has just as long, so I'm assuming you are both still in the early planning stages of your wedding.  And, your MOH has obviously been helping you with the planning.  You saw a venue and fell in love with it, but she was right there with you.  And, you are using a wedding planner you're comfortable with, so your MOH probably assumed she'd be comfortable with her too.<strong>  And, 90% of the things I pin on pinterest are repinned from my friends (I hate even having to say that, it feels so ridiculous).  So what if she repinned a bunch of your stuff?</strong>  You guys have similar tastes, she likes the same things you like, Not A Big Deal. I don't think she's "copying you" on purpose, but it's a big-wedding-planning-world out there, and she might be feeling overwhelmed and since it is still SO FAR AWAY she is just getting a basic idea of what she might like.   And even if you both have similar weddings, even if they're very similar, they'll still be different, because you're two different couples.  I'd let it go if I wanted to keep my friend, this sounds like a non-issue that could be blown way out of proportion if you get all down on your MOH for liking the same things you like. It sounds like she changed her wedding date so it wouldn't interfere with yours, good for her.  Chill out, thank her for helping you this far, and apologize for letting wedding-planning make you a little crazy and thinking she was out to steal your PPD. Also, just out of curiousity, what did your FI say when you told him about this?
  Posted by dtbluv[/QUOTE]
  
  She didn't repin any of them. She saved the photos and emailed them to my coordinator asking her if she would help her put it together for her wedding. Big difference.
  
  FI is not MOH's biggest fan and he was not suprised about her behavior.

  Report0 Reply
• dtbluv member

  

  November 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_what-would-you-do-in-this-situation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:17ec70b6-5090-4c0e-8720-dc1098a238d6Post:cec96b47-f184-4c14-87b1-9ce0574216b8">Re: What would you do in this situation?</a>:
  [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What would you do in this situation? : She didn't repin any of them. She saved the photos and emailed them to my coordinator asking her if she would help her put it together for her wedding. Big difference. FI is not MOH's biggest fan and he was not suprised about her behavior.
  Posted by WMSKTF[/QUOTE]
  
  I don't know, saving the photos so she can email them still doesn't seem like a big deal to me.  Maybe I'm wrong though, maybe there is something sinister going on in her head.

  Report0 Reply
• CowgirlBride88 member

  

  November 2012

  Could it be that you guys actually do have similar tastes AND she's maybe feeling a bit nervous and overwhelmed about her own wedding and is using your ideas out of fear and anxiety?  I totally understand your frustration.  I'd be irritated, too.  Maybe take her out for lunch and chat calmly with her about it.  Something along the lines of "I noticed we seem to have identical ideas about our weddings.  Do you need help coming up with ideas to make your day unique?"  

  Hope it all works out!  

  Report0 Reply
• Summer2011Bride member

  

  November 2012

  I mean, I can understand being...annoyed maybe? But I also feel that anything you share on a public website like Pinterest is fair game. While I probably would not take all my best friend's wedding inspiration photos and use them myself (hence why I get feeling annoyed), I would also stop posting things online that I didn't want other people to see or use.
  
  I would take this as a lesson learned and move on. Honestly saying something to her will likely not end well. Your weddings will still be different, and just stop showing her your ideas from here on out.

  
  
  
  
  

  Report0 Reply
• saric83 member

  

  November 2012

  I wouldn't do anything else about it since you already chatted with her, and she doesn't seem open to dicussing.  But move your pins to a private board and then any new ones you add won't be visible for her.  I'm sure by the time the wedding actually happens, you'll come up with many more ideas, as will she, and things will end up looking differently!

  Report0 Reply
• lpowers1118

  

  November 2012

  Your friend that is using some colors that are similar at the same venue sounds like a huge positive to me!!!!  Look at this in the best way possible and say, "After my wedding, what can I sell/give to her."  This is a great way to unload a bunch of stuff that you honestly will never use again. 
  
  EXAMPLE:  This summer FI and I had 4 weddings to be in/attend.  Knowing when our wedding was I went into this with my checkbook open.  At my best friends wedding that I was MOH in, I asked her, Hey H, can I buy your card box off of you.  All I need to do is change the ribbon color.  *She is "passing it down" as her friend passed it to her. 
  At another wedding my buddy had these beautiful frames holding the table numbers, they just so happen to work with our colors as well so I said, hey how much are you selling these frames for, and we made a deal. 
  
  Who cares if it is a bit annoying, sell, give stuff away do whatever so you aren't throwing things away thinking about how much money you spent on that item. 

  

  Report0 Reply
• Lisa50 member

  

  November 2012

  What would I do?  I'd have a chat with myself and try to remember that anything I pull off the interwebz has been implemented, in one fashion or another, in dozens, if not hundreds of weddings before mine.  I also would not post/pin anything I'd think of as only mine on a public forum.  Then, I'd get over it and move on.

  Report0 Reply
• Love11506

  

  January 2013

  If she is one of your best friends best friends think alike so I wouldn't be surprised if my best friend had similar wedding items as I do.

  MARCH SIGGY CHALLENGE: Hair Inspiration

  Report0 Reply