Tour / Informal Picnic Lunch in Gap between the Ceremony and the Reception

stefnut · January 2013

Hi!

So I'm planning my August wedding and would like to get some people's "take" on what I'm planning since it is a bit unique. So it seems like everywhere I looked in Portland, except a couple of hotels downtown, that the party had to stop at around 11pm. My fiance and I are orginally from Cleveland area and lived in DC. I wanted an outdoor wedding WITH a party! We came up with something - a golf course wedding overlooking Mt. Hood and the reception at a cool "club-like" spot downtown. My problem is the dredded GAP -- there are other weddings at every location that is outdoors/pretty, so I need to be out by 3pm! Anyhow, I have an early ceremony that starts at 12:30pm with a light cocktail hour / hor derves after - ending at 2:00pm. The reception doesn't start until 6pm and goes until 1:30pm. I am getting my pictures taken at Pittock Mansion in the lawn after the ceremony -- in the time of the gap -- since it is beautiful and we paid for the photog all day. I was thinking about inviting my guests to Pittock Mansion for a hosted, guided tour inside the mansion starting at 3:30pm with some quick sandwiches on a picnic table before they start the tour (3:00pm). I'm doing my pictures on the lawn and will be doing those from 4:00 - 5:00pm (after I get done with just a few pics at the country club) before departing to my reception. The guests will be able to RSVP to the tour/lunch via the card. There will be time for the guests to change / freshen-up since the hotel is near by -- so 4:30 until 5:30pm when shuttles leave the hotel. We have a lot of OOT guests so I think they will opt-in, while the in-town guest will probably opt-out or just come to the reception, which I am fine with (but personally wouldn't do myself). Anyhow, what do you think of this idea? Is a sandwich on a picnic table tacky? I would do the lunch at the ceremony site, but 1.) it is WAYYY more expensive and 2.) We don't have time to do something more formal there. Oh - and one other thing - I want to do two separate dress codes 1.) daytime cocktail (with ladies bringing flats if they do the tour) and 2.) evening formal (dress to impress!) for the reception. Let me know your thoughts. On the one-hand, I really want to accomodate my guests and make them feel like they have something to do in the gap, but don't want to make it seem like my wedding is some crazy tour around Portland either. As far as gathering spots for guest around the reception spot - there are really only bars and don't want everyone to be completely bombed when they arrive since it goes until 1:30am as is. Okee dokee - enough rambling. Let me know what you think of this format.

stefnut · January 2013

The reception doesn't start until 6pm and goes until 1:30pm. *** Correction to this sentence: the reception goes until 1:30am, not 1:30pm.

AddieCake · January 2013

That is a really long gap, and a really long day. I am not sure I would want to give all afternoon and night to somebody's wedding, so I would probably attend the ceremony only. You say guests can freshen up b/c "the hotel is nearby," but will ALL the guests for sure be staying there? And you want your guests to change clothes between events....am I reading that right?

staar987 · January 2013

That is a really long gap. I probably wouldn't be interested in going on a tour. And then to have to change into a different outfit for later? No thanks. I wouldn't attend.

stefnut · January 2013

Well, I'm not going to lose the OOT guests. It is really a matter of if the in-town guests will come to the ceremony (which are the minority) - and I'm ok with that. I doubt the OOT guests will fly from the east coast to the west coast and then not show up to the reception. I feel like I'm being upfront about the long day and providing them some entertainment in between. If it is way too long for them, then coming to just the reception is fine.

I think moving the reception up loses the "party-feel" of an evening reception and I'm not going to find another ceremony spot - since mine overlooks Mt. Hood and is absolutely beautiful. I guess my question was really if I should do all of the stuff for them in between of if that would make it feel like a circus. Just trying to find a happy balance between the guests and what my fiance and I want.

stefnut · January 2013

As for the changing thing - Almost every wedding I've been to with a gap, I've had two outfits. Daytime requires daytime cocktail and evening is supposed to be more formal. Or I would wear something over my dress in church, etc. and throw more jewelry on.

AddieCake · January 2013

You seem convinced people will choose the reception over the ceremony if they choose not to do both. Is there a reason for that? I personally would choose to watch the ceremony rather than go to the reception if I were making the choice b/c I would feel kind of like I skipped the "important" part and then came out for the free party, so I was just wondering.

stefnut · January 2013

Well I guess that has just been my experience. I personally wouldn't go to the reception without going to the ceremony or vis versa, but that's just me. I would hope that they'd want to go to the reception if they go to the ceremony -- that is the "main event" (for a guest at least). Anyhow, I talked to my mom and I think we are going to invite the guests out to the mansion for a tour / picture taking / mingling. I think the OOTers will appreciate us offering, but if no one RSVPs to it, no loss. The alternative to the "gap"-style wedding would be to have my wedding go from 4pm - 11pm, which I just had a problem with since I know my friends would be disappointed that it was over so soon (esp. the ones from bigger cities). I guess you can't win! ;(

Barbiiieee · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_tour-informal-picnic-lunch-in-gap-between-the-ceremony-and-the-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:ac275378-8f67-40e5-99f3-2e00076885d0Post:1325aa82-5c16-4825-a8fe-495dede8d477">Re: Tour / Informal Picnic Lunch in Gap between the Ceremony and the Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]Well I guess that has just been my experience. I personally wouldn't go to the reception without going to the ceremony or vis versa, but that's just me. I would hope that they'd want to go to the reception if they go to the ceremony -- that is the "main event" (for a guest at least). Anyhow, I talked to my mom and I think we are going to invite the guests out to the mansion for a tour / picture taking / mingling. I think the OOTers will appreciate us offering, but if no one RSVPs to it, no loss. The alternative to the "gap"-style wedding would be to have my wedding go from 4pm - 11pm, which I just had a problem with since I know my friends would be disappointed that it was over so soon (esp. the ones from bigger cities). I guess you can't win! ;(
Posted by stefnut[/QUOTE]

You also have the option of doing an earlier reception, like from 4-11 and then hosting an after party, which might work out better if you want a more urban/night life feel anyway. Grandma probably won't want to go to the night club-like party, nor will she want to have a 14 hour day filled with wedding stuff, at least my grandma wouldn't. Block off a VIP section at a night club, change into a fun, short white dress, and party the night away with your younger friends, and don't inconvenience all your guests with a super long day filled with museum tours and wardrobe changes. It is a win-win.

ETA: It could just be me, but a 7 or 7 1/2 hour long reception seems soooo long. Also, if your cocktail hour ends at 2, even if the reception isn't in the same location, you should be able to start an hour afterward. Maybe cut your reception down from like 3-7 or 8, and then have your friends meet up for an after party at like 9 or 10. Having your reception at 3 also means you could serve a late lunch vs serving dinner. You would probably save some money on food and alcohol by having it earlier and could use that money toward an after party. Not that I know if you budget is an issue, but that is what I would be thinking.

MairePoppy · January 2013

If you move your wedding to 4pm - 11, you and your friends can go out to a bar to party after the reception. I don't understand your logic.

Jen4948 · January 2013

You're inviting people to your wedding, not to do a tour. I think you need to cut down the gap and not expect your guests to entertain themselves for that long without you or to change outfits for you.

SKPM · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_tour-informal-picnic-lunch-in-gap-between-the-ceremony-and-the-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:ac275378-8f67-40e5-99f3-2e00076885d0Post:06b5c189-98d9-4e1d-aa22-35ed46c560fa">Re: Tour / Informal Picnic Lunch in Gap between the Ceremony and the Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]If you move your wedding to 4pm - 11, you and your friends can go out to a bar to party after the reception. I don't understand your logic.
Posted by MairePoppy[/QUOTE]

This is exactly what I would do and what I would prefer as a guest.

stefnut · January 2013

Got it! Thanks guys - I'm totally leaning that way now. There is a super awesome bar at the top of the hotel for out of town guest that is open-air and over looks the city. I'll just have the after-party there with the reception from maybe 3:30-10pm. So cocktails from 3:30-5pm, then dinner, and 6-10pm dancing.

Have a great night!

Avion22 · January 2013

I agree with the earlier reception + after party idea. As a guest, there's no way I'd be able to do a day as long as the one you're describing. For a 12:30 wedding, I'd probably need to start getting ready at 10:00. Normally if I'm going to be up as late as 1:00 I need a nap in the middle of the day, which I coudln't do with hair and makeup done. And there's no way I'd be sitting around a hotel room in my nice clothes....and if I was traveling I wouldn't want to do multiple outfits because that's more to pack. It's just a mess.

HobokensFury · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_tour-informal-picnic-lunch-in-gap-between-the-ceremony-and-the-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:ac275378-8f67-40e5-99f3-2e00076885d0Post:0481d7a2-b53d-46e8-8953-692ae5d2cec5">Re: Tour / Informal Picnic Lunch in Gap between the Ceremony and the Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]Got it! Thanks guys - I'm totally leaning that way now. There is a super awesome bar at the top of the hotel for out of town guest that is open-air and over looks the city. I'll just have the after-party there with the reception from maybe 3:30-10pm. So cocktails from 3:30-5pm, then dinner, and 6-10pm dancing. Have a great night!
Posted by stefnut[/QUOTE]

This is a much better plan. Your guests will appreciate it.

MairePoppy · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_tour-informal-picnic-lunch-in-gap-between-the-ceremony-and-the-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:ac275378-8f67-40e5-99f3-2e00076885d0Post:0481d7a2-b53d-46e8-8953-692ae5d2cec5">Re: Tour / Informal Picnic Lunch in Gap between the Ceremony and the Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]Got it! Thanks guys - I'm totally leaning that way now. There is a super awesome bar at the top of the hotel for out of town guest that is open-air and over looks the city. I'll just have the after-party there with the reception from maybe 3:30-10pm. So cocktails from 3:30-5pm, then dinner, and 6-10pm dancing. Have a great night!
Posted by stefnut[/QUOTE]

Good. All of your guests will get to enjoy the reception, those that still have some party left in them will go to the bar and if they are staying over night, they don't have to worry about driving home after drinking. Locals can call a cab. Sounds perfect.

Jen4948 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_tour-informal-picnic-lunch-in-gap-between-the-ceremony-and-the-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:ac275378-8f67-40e5-99f3-2e00076885d0Post:0481d7a2-b53d-46e8-8953-692ae5d2cec5">Re: Tour / Informal Picnic Lunch in Gap between the Ceremony and the Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]Got it! Thanks guys - I'm totally leaning that way now. There is a super awesome bar at the top of the hotel for out of town guest that is open-air and over looks the city. I'll just have the after-party there with the reception from maybe 3:30-10pm. So cocktails from 3:30-5pm, then dinner, and 6-10pm dancing. Have a great night!
Posted by stefnut[/QUOTE]

This sounds wonderful. Best wishes!

MrsGandthebeag · January 2013

Your revised plan seems much better. Although, I think the reception is still really long. You say the cocktails start at 3:30, so I'm assuming your ceremony will start at 2:30 or 3. Even if it's 3, that's a 7 hour ceremony+reception. And then you want people to keep partying into the early am? Man, I think I'm getting old. There's no way I'd do all that.

mcda04 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_tour-informal-picnic-lunch-in-gap-between-the-ceremony-and-the-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:ac275378-8f67-40e5-99f3-2e00076885d0Post:0481d7a2-b53d-46e8-8953-692ae5d2cec5">Re: Tour / Informal Picnic Lunch in Gap between the Ceremony and the Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]Got it! Thanks guys - I'm totally leaning that way now. There is a super awesome bar at the top of the hotel for out of town guest that is open-air and over looks the city. I'll just have the after-party there with the reception from maybe 3:30-10pm. So cocktails from 3:30-5pm, then dinner, and 6-10pm dancing. Have a great night!
Posted by stefnut[/QUOTE]

Glad you're taking this route. This after-party idea sounds much better.

libby2483 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_tour-informal-picnic-lunch-in-gap-between-the-ceremony-and-the-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:ac275378-8f67-40e5-99f3-2e00076885d0Post:dcd39f82-7b6a-459f-a1c6-005a3ee019fe">Re: Tour / Informal Picnic Lunch in Gap between the Ceremony and the Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]Your revised plan seems much better. Although, I think the reception is still really long. You say the cocktails start at 3:30, so I'm assuming your ceremony will start at 2:30 or 3. Even if it's 3, that's a 7 hour ceremony+reception. And then you want people to keep partying into the early am? Man, I think I'm getting old. There's no way I'd do all that.
Posted by MrsGandthebeag[/QUOTE]

<div>I think that this really depends on your crowd, and how well you host your guests (good food, music, etc.) Our reception was from 4:00 to midnight. There were still so many people there at the end of the night that they didn't all fit in one shuttle. H's grandma left at 11:30 -- to go to the casino! </div>

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