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Open Bar/Cash Bar at Bridal Shower-Lunch

Capital_TCapital_T
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in Pre-wedding Parties
Hi, I was wondering if you ladies can give me some advice.....
I'm throwing a bridal shower for my friend. I booked a private room at a restaurant. I'm also paying for it myself (don't even get me started on that fiasco). Originally, there were only a certain amount of people invited and, because it's a luncheon, I thought I would have an open bar and pick up the tab myself b/c I know it is proper etiquette that if you host a party, guests should not have to pay anything themselves...plus, it's a lunch, who's going to get trashed anyways??? However, I am upset b/c after I started getting RSVPs, guests were inviting other ppl who were NOT originally invited, so now I have a good 6-8 more people than expected. My friend said to let the self-invited ppl to come b/c she doesn't want to start drama w/the families...Well, ok, but I'm paying for it and I think that's rude b/c they weren't invited in the first place. So now, it's like I was going to offer Mimosas to everyone on my tab but if you want any beer or other alcohol..it would be up to you to pay for it. Lunch includes soda/tea/water/coffee and it's a full lunch with dessert too....so it's not just a little tea party or anything. Also, the ppl coming range from age 18-80 so it's not just a bunch of old woman or anything.

Do you think it's okay that when guests come to the shower, I make it known that the bride's drink (like a signature drink) is a mimosa so order up al you want! But...if you want any other alcoholic drink, you have to pay for it
????
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Re: Open Bar/Cash Bar at Bridal Shower-Lunch

  • tme820tme820 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    That is a very tough predicament you are in.  First I would like to say that the guests had no right to invite people who were not on the invitation in the first place.  That is definitely very rude on their part.

    I do think if you make it known that the bride's drink is a mimosa so order up but if you want any other alcoholic drink, you have to pay for it.  I think that is totally fair.  Just remember you will not make everyone happy so you will have a few that complain about having to pay for their own drinks but any reasonable person would understand where you are coming from.

    Good luck with your decision and just remember stay calm and make the bride feel extremely happy and when you get home, scream and get all your frustration out then. lol.
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  • SuMmErKuTiESuMmErKuTiE member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    That is awful! Why would people RSVP with extra people?! I'm so sorry this happened... as for the bar situation. I'm all for guests not needing to pay for anything at a hosted event. I think you covering the mimosas is a great gesture, and since it's a shower in the middle of the day, I'm sure that would be enough for most. As far as I know I think that's the only alchohol being hosted at my shower as well. Just let it be known that the hosted drink is a signature drink of the bride along with the other non-alcoholic beverages that are available. Try to see if they won't have a "cash bar" available so that your guests wouldn't have to pay for anything unless they went out into the restaurant area on their own. But, I think you've taken on a lot on your own, and the fact that you're even hosting the mimosas is great! The bride-to-be has a great friend and hostess for her shower, and I'm sure the guests will all feel that you've done more than enough. HTH!
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  • brandiboohbrandibooh
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If you're hosting and paying for alcohol, unfortunately you will have to politely tell the unruly guests there are specific people invited. It's liitle akward, but they put you in that position when they decided to invite other people.
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  • danieliza1127danieliza1127 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't have alcohol at all.  It's not necessary and it will add a lot of extra expense.
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  • dianenjnjdianenjnj member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    since you are footing the whole bill by yourself perhaps do pitchers of sangria...much cheaper...however,  you really don't need  to offer alcohol at all so don't feel that you have to.
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  • SheDiva4SheDiva4
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You are a great friend and think you should stick with the mimosas.  as OP suggested I wold not even have a cash bar for other drinks.  If anyone wants to drink something heavier at a luncheon then they can go in the restaurant and order and pay for it.   
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  • angela72023angela72023
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Agree with PP's...Maybe just have pitchers of mimosa's and the soda, tea, water, that way no one orders anything and let the restaurant know you only want those items available.
    Serious rudeness on other people's part, but you are being an awesome friend and don't want to stoop to their level and throw rudeness back at them. You re an amazing friend!

    "It is never to late to become what you might have been..."
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