FH joining the Navy

Re: FH joining the Navy

• mob2689

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  My DDH was Air-Force, and I too was the only person in my family to be a military wife for 2 generations as I stated on a previous post. I can not speak for being a Navy wife but as a past  military wife, Please, if this is something that your FI want to do, stand by him, and take other ppl's comments (family included) that have never been in the military , or has never been a spouse of a military member with a grain of salt!  You can say thank you for your concern but we are very happy about this oppertunity. I wish you two all the best!
  
  I remember my folks arguing over my DH choise. When DH went for basic training, My dad swore that they didn't use live ammunition in Basic Training, my mother trying to correct him, that was just one of many many arguments...it was ugly... so many arguments in the family of the kind of life I was going to have and stuff.  I was so glad to get away from ALL of it and dreaded comming back for vacations funerals  My family did not suppoprt his choise one bit and everytime we came home on leave my dad expected us to work day in and day out while we were there, and the fights over why we wanted to sleep at DH folks house and not thiers. My father was a freadom fighter in his mother country and he was/is a very strong headed man and more less litterly the ruler of his palace and family and has the final word along with other things. YUK! It is all comming back. : / 
  
  So yeah take it all with a grain of salt is my best advise don't let it get the best of you because then yes you will have problems in your marriage.

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• kyrgyzstan member

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  It's sad that people in your life are being so negative. We got a lot of that because FI is already in the MC, and I have wanted to join since long before I met him. Now that I've graduated, the only thing stopping me is the UCMJ (we have to be married first). His family thinks he's nuts for wanting to add another military career into the mix. 

  
  

  But it is doable. I think it's AWESOME that your FI wants to serve so much that he's happy to commission or enlist. That's how I feel too. You must be so proud of him, and I think you should be proud of yourself for being so supportive of either avenue. A lot of women want to wear their H's rank and would prefer O. I am so psyched to hear you support his desire for service, no matter how he goes about it.

  
  

  Yes, of course there will be time apart. FI and I will have been together 3 years in August, and a year of that was LD. BUT, we skyped and talked and it wasn't so bad. I was finishing up college, he was recruiting across the country, we were both pretty busy. After we chose our wedding date, we found out that FI will be deploying soon after. I'm down because I'd love to be in his shoes, and I'll be busy as heck while he's gone, both at my full time job and trying to get into the MC. The best possible advice I can give you is to maintain your own identity. Don't just be your husband's wife, don't just be a Navy wife. Be YOU too. Have hobbies, work, go to school, whatever. It's a sanity saver.

  I hate Dave Ramsey

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• Beachy730 member

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  Ditto Stan's advice about keeping yourself busy and creating your own life as well.  I am a Navy wife, and obviously it can be challenging at times, but it also has it's rewards.  Ignore the people who say that your marriage won't last because of the military.  You both committed to eachother before there was even consideration of the military, so you didn't choose to marry for the wrong reasons anyways.  

  
  

  I have found that deployments can either make or break a couple, but it's completely up to you both to determine which group you'll be in.  H and I were LDR the entire time we dated, but only about 2 hours apart so we saw each other every weekend.  We did a PCS across the country about a month after the wedding, and within 3 months of married life he was deployed.  Obviously it's not the ideal situation, but for us I definitely think it made us a stronger couple.  While he was gone, I found myself a full time job here, made some friends, and found a soccer team to join.  I created my own life here, and was not one of those wives who just sat around feeling depressed and counting down the days until he came.  It didn't mean I missed him any less, it just meant that I wasn't going to let his being gone consume my life.  

  
  

  If he does join, he will go to boot camp, and then off to school for about 6 weeks or so, then will be sent to his new station.  Deployments vary greatly, and you won't have any idea of when he'll be deployed until he gets to his station.  Sometimes sailors are deployed within weeks of getting stationed, other times it can be a year before he leaves.  He might be on a ship, or a sub, or he could be squadron where they are attached to ships for deployments.  H had even done squadron deployments where he was just stationed in Germany and worked from there.  Whlie ships are most common, it's not the only possibility.  

  
  

  Deployments are rougly every year and half, with the ships going out a couple times in between for a weeks for exercises and work ups.  There are always exceptions though, such as H's ship now.  They just got back from a deployment a couple months ago, but because of scheduled maintenence they will be deploying again before the end of the year, and we will be moving cross country again for the 2nd time in less than 2 years.  But, the first thing you'll learn about the military is nothing is ever set in stone, and nothing is ever a guarantee, so just always be prepared for changes.  It can definitely make having your own career difficult.  

  
  

  Okay, I have now written a novel it seems, so feel free to ask me any other questions, or PM me if you want more info.  

  

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• kara811 member

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_fh-joining-navy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:91543c17-54bf-4371-89c2-cb4c2aa8b750Post:6f9c2eba-8447-47c9-952c-16e0581f7b08">Re: FH joining the Navy</a>:
  [QUOTE]Ditto Stan's advice about keeping yourself busy and creating your own life as well.  I am a Navy wife, and obviously it can be challenging at times, but it also has it's rewards.  Ignore the people who say that your marriage won't last because of the military.  You both committed to eachother before there was even consideration of the military, so you didn't choose to marry for the wrong reasons anyways.  <strong> I have found that deployments can either make or break a couple, but it's completely up to you both to determine which group you'll be in.</strong>  H and I were LDR the entire time we dated, but only about 2 hours apart so we saw each other every weekend.  We did a PCS across the country about a month after the wedding, and within 3 months of married life he was deployed.  Obviously it's not the ideal situation, but for us I definitely think it made us a stronger couple.  While he was gone, I found myself a full time job here, made some friends, and found a soccer team to join.  I created my own life here, and was not one of those wives who just sat around feeling depressed and counting down the days until he came.  It didn't mean I missed him any less, it just meant that I wasn't going to let his being gone consume my life.   If he does join, he will go to boot camp, and then off to school for about 6 weeks or so, then will be sent to his new station.  Deployments vary greatly, and you won't have any idea of when he'll be deployed until he gets to his station.  Sometimes sailors are deployed within weeks of getting stationed, other times it can be a year before he leaves.  He might be on a ship, or a sub, or he could be squadron where they are attached to ships for deployments.  H had even done squadron deployments where he was just stationed in Germany and worked from there.  Whlie ships are most common, it's not the only possibility.   <strong>Deployments are rougly every year and half, with the ships going out a couple times in between for a weeks for exercises and work ups.  There are always exceptions though,</strong> such as H's ship now.  They just got back from a deployment a couple months ago, but because of scheduled maintenence they will be deploying again before the end of the year, and we will be moving cross country again for the 2nd time in less than 2 years.  But, the first thing you'll learn about the military is nothing is ever set in stone, and nothing is ever a guarantee, so just always be prepared for changes.  It can definitely make having your own career difficult.   Okay, I have now written a novel it seems, so feel free to ask me any other questions, or PM me if you want more info.  
  Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]
  
  <div>
  </div><div>Ditto the first bolded part. Deployments can be tough at first but it'll just make the relationship that much stronger. It might be better if you wait it out to get married until after his first deployment, just to see what's it's like. If you are able to handle it. </div><div>
  </div><div>The 2nd bolded part is true. He can very well be stationed overseas, like here in Japan. H's ship goes out the most out of the rest. It goes out every year for half the year. </div><div>
  </div><div>Like Stan and Beach said, keeping yourself busy is key while your FI is away. Get a job, find new friends to socialize with. Take up a new hobby whether it's sports or reading, etc. I'm not an expert with OCS, but H's cousin is there right now and they don't get a lot of leave at all. He says it's difficult but he's been able to handle it. He's only been able to come home I think once for Christmas since he went in. He missed being our GM because of it too. </div><div>
  </div><div>I'm sorry many people in your lives aren't very supportive. </div>

  Planning Bio /Married Bio
  

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• AmandaSC1988 member

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  Your situation sounds a lot like my FI and I.  He always wanted to be in the Navy but because of incorrect adivce given in the NROTC program at our college he lost his scholarship. (They told him he could change majors, but in actuality he couldn't)  Anyway after graduation he talked with a recruiter about being an officer. It was going to take roughly 2 years to get admitted into the program (being backed up and stuff). While if he went enlisted it would take the same amount of time and he would have a job in the Navy. He has been in for almost a year and he just now had the opprotunity to turn in his package.

  
  

  One thing about the Navy is everything takes 10 times slower than you'd expect it to take.

  
  

  
  

  

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• firsttimersluck member

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  My FI is in the Navy, he flies P3's here in Washington state. PM me if you have any questions or concerns.
  He went OCS instead of NROTC or academy.  I can tell you about OCS and all the things that he will have to do for the Navy after that (ie when you guys will be able to be TOGETHER again).
  and the super awesome deployments We love the Navy though. Let any of us know if there is anything we can do to set your mind/heart at ease.
  

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• OopsOreo04

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  Hi Ladies, thank you so much for your responses and encouraging words!! I do have a few questions that i know are probably case to case basis but still would like to hear some answers!! First of all, from when he takes his tests/physical etc about how long until shipped to bootcamp/training? Then how long til they allow me to join him? How does housing work? Do you get a choice kind of like looking around for a place to rent or its whatever they choose to provide us with?

  

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• Beachy730 member

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_fh-joining-navy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:91543c17-54bf-4371-89c2-cb4c2aa8b750Post:6c7a55c4-8c9a-4dbf-a9b3-0efbdfab9cfd">Re: FH joining the Navy</a>:
  [QUOTE]Hi Ladies, thank you so much for your responses and encouraging words!! I do have a few questions that i know are probably case to case basis but still would like to hear some answers!! <div>
  </div><div>First of all, from when he takes his tests/physical etc about how long until shipped to bootcamp/training? </div><div><strong>It depends on what rate he goes in for, but it can be up to a year after he officially joins.  He will be in the Delayed Entry Program (DEP) and have to go to meetings/PT a couple times a month before he leaves.  H was recruiting before coming here and some rates would leave within a month or two, some were a full year.  It probably won't be sooner than a month, but you never know.</strong></div><div><strong>
  </strong></div><div>Then how long til they allow me to join him? </div><div><strong>He will have boot camp, then go to A school for his specific training, then get sent to his first base.  That's probably the best time for you to join him, once he gets there.</strong></div><div>
  </div><div>How does housing work? Do you get a choice kind of like looking around for a place to rent or its whatever they choose to provide us with?</div><div><strong>It depends.  If he isn't married at the time, there is a very good chance he won't receive BAH and will have to live on the ship or in the barracks.  You are able to rent an apartment out of your own pocket though and he could live there if you are married.  Most bases have base housing available, but it depends on rank and availability, and there might be a wait list for it.  </strong></div><div><strong>
  </strong></div><div><strong>
  </strong></div><div><strong>Unfortunately most of your questions are all up to chance.  You'll learn quickly with the military that nothing is ever set in stone, and usually no two situations are the same.  </strong></div><div>
  <div>Posted by OopsOreo04[/QUOTE]
  
  </div></div>

  

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• SamiJoeB

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  Ditto Beach.
  
  I was AD Navy. Like Stan said, I think it's great that he's willing to go enlisted, or officer. I would suggest that you go to the recruiter with your FI and take a list of your own questions (not ALL recruiters lie). I was single when I enlisted, but my parents did this and felt alot better. And you can always post here when you have more questions!!

  

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