Attire Instructions?

meghann22 · June 2010

Hi Everyone,

I wondering what the protocol is on suggesting attire... I would never put this on my invitation, but I am thinking that it would be okay to say something under the guest info tab of my website. Is this true or should you never say what you want your guests to wear and hope they figure it out?

If it is okay to say something on the website, what classifies the following:

Black Tie
Formal
Semi Formal

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · June 2010

Formal and semi-formal aren't official dress code designations. White and tie and black tie are fine, but only for a true white tie or black tie wedding. The only other time it would be acceptible is if there's a venue requirement, such as, "The Cabana Club requires all men to wear jackets and ladies are requested not to wear sandals."

aragx6 · June 2010

It's fine to put it on your Web site, just know that most people won't ever look at your site. How are you wanting people to dress? Black tie = tuxes.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · June 2010

Black tie involves way more than tuxes.

aragx6 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_attire-instructions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b6d44692-2952-4374-9e26-732ecc68ccebPost:23d53384-bd29-4dad-b9c7-4f374c80007b">Re: Attire Instructions?</a>:
[QUOTE]Black tie involves way more than tuxes.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

Such as?

frenchy730 · June 2010

It's okay to put on your website, but like PPs have said, not everyone will look at your website.

What kind of attire are you suggesting your guests wear? also, the formality of the event is often judged by the style of your invitations and the location of the wedding itself.

goheels05 · June 2010

Ditto, Mere.

OP, guests usually know what to wear based on what time the wedding is and where it is located. If they still don't know, they will ask. If they don't know and don't care, no insert or note on your webpage will change their minds.

Black tie means that tuxes are required for men and fancy ballgowns are required for women. It is only acceptable to require black tie if your wedding is on par with Platinum Weddings--four course meal, top shelf liquor, the whole nine yards.

Formal and Semi-formal are vague terms and it really just depends on the event what exactly that means, so to say that your wedding will be formal or semi-formal doesn't really help your guests.

I wouldn't worry about it. They will figure it out.

aragx6 · June 2010

[quote] the formality of the event is often judged by the style of your invitations and the location of the wedding itself. [/quote]

This is a <em>very </em>good point.

I Want Cake · June 2010

I've got kind of the same issue. FI's family, besides those actually in the WP, dress very casually. Dressed up for them means polo shirts with their jeans, which is not acceptable for our wedding, even though it's going to be in the early afternoon in a garden setting. The reception is going to be pretty formal.

Would it be possible to tell people about preferred attire in the same way one would get the info out about where they're registered?

I'm having a hard time not putting on the invitations "no jeans or sneakers allowed!"

pooh8402 · June 2010

I didn't say anything officially (not on invitation or on the website). however, when people called me and asked me directly, I usually said something along the lines of, "I'd prefer no jeans... basically what you'd wear to church." most people were happy with that description. if no one flat out asks you though, you can't dictate what people wear. if your guests wear jeans, that's a reflection on them, not you.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_attire-instructions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b6d44692-2952-4374-9e26-732ecc68ccebPost:b1f0923c-8dbd-4c34-9ebd-0f4708d6af41">Re: Attire Instructions?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Attire Instructions? : Such as?
Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]

You need to have a black tie style wedding - live band, top shelf liquor, multi-course meal, engraved invitations. If your invite says black tie, everyone shows up in gowns and tuxes, and the reception is at a VFW or your MIL's backyard, you'll end up with unhappy guests.

aragx6 · June 2010

Gotcha msmery. Just wasn't asure exactly what you meant. I wish the OP would tell us what kind of dress code she's looking for.

felkels · June 2010

I would just spread word of mouth.

banana468 · June 2010

[QUOTE]Would it be possible to tell people about preferred attire in the same way one would get the info out about where they're registered? [/QUOTE]

Please tell me you mean word of mouth.

brookelynpaisley · June 2010

You can't tell people what to wear. If they don't know what;s appropriate to wear to a wedding, that's their problem. If you're having a formal wedding and they show up wearing khakis and a polo, it reflects badly on them, not you. If your venue has restirctions, you may mention them on a separate insert as Mery suggested. I had people show up in jeans, and we're still married. I assure you, you'll have more to worry about the day of.

And ditto Banana, I hope PP is saying that registry/attire info are spread appropriately via word of mouth.

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