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Does my FMIL HAVE to be invited?

b.rae.barryb.rae.barry
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in Pre-wedding Parties
My fiance's step-mother (FSMIL) and sister are planning a bridal shower for me and we're running into an issue.. We are on the fence about whether or not we should invite my fiance's mother (FMIL) to the shower. My FSMIL and FMIL do NOT get along and it would be very awkward to have them in the same room together. My FSMIL asked my opinion about it and I am just torn. I feel like etiquette says she should be invited, but honestly we feel it would be better if she wasn't. 

Can you ladies help me? I have to tell FSMIL something. I mean, it's ultimately HER decision, correct? Not mine (since she's throwing the shower)? I would love it if my FMIL held her own shower for me (not for the presents - it would just save a whole lotta drama), but of course I would never ASK that!!

Help!
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Re: Does my FMIL HAVE to be invited?

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    MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    The MOG and MOB should be invited to all showers. You should trust FMIL to act like an adult for those few hours. She may decide that she doesn't want to attend a party hosted by your FSMIL, but it would be rude for someone else to make that decision for her.
                       
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    b.rae.barryb.rae.barry
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thank you, MairePoppy! I think I knew the answer all along.. just needed some outside advice.

    Honestly, I think everyone should be able to handle acting like an adult. And, knowing my FMIL, it would probably cause even BIGGER problems if she wasn't invited.

    *fingers crossed*
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    banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I have to echo Marie.  And I also think you're right.  Even if FMIL may say a few things that are inappropriate, your life will be MUCH worse if you ask to keep her off the guest list.

    If grown adults create a scene, THEY are the ones who will look foolish.
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    regfalangeregfalange
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If you aren't having any other showers than yes, she should be invited.  SHE is the MOG not the step mother.  SHE will be your actual MIL, not the other way around.  They should be able to be adults regardless of who is throwing the party, for your sake.
    Celebrate we will, cause life is short but sweet for certain....
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