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Catholic Weddings

Engaged Encounter (more questions!) and hello!

Hi all! I've posted here (lurked as well) sparingly before since I've only had a few questions or comments, however I was reading the Engaged Encounter post from a few days ago and came on here to ask more about it. Did those who went on it think it was ridiculously expensive?

I honestly couldn't believe the price for my diocese. It was also really unclear as to our other options, but I called our Office of Family Life and they explained we could do other classes.

I'm just torn because I am Catholic and my fiance is not. Not that he thinks my religion is silly, but I think either way he's gonna think this is all excessive and ridiculous so I'm just wondering do we get this over with during a weekend and shell out a ton of money, or go to the four classes as the other option. What would you do?

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Re: Engaged Encounter (more questions!) and hello!

  • mica178mica178 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I think we paid $405 for the two of us.  That covered two nights at the retreat center, food, and things like babysitters for the couples who led the group.  Also the center's charge for the public rooms, etc.  And what little is left over goes towards keeping the curriculum up to date and setting up a small scholarship fund for lower income couples.

    If you have issues with the cost, you can look at other options that might be cheaper.  But honestly, I found EE to be enjoyable, my non-Catholic FI felt that it was a worthwhile experience, and I truly believe the cost was very reasonable.  We actually donated money to increase the scholarhsip fund for the EE because we think it's something all couples should do before getting married.

    Look at it this way, it's a one weekend, few hundred dollar investment in a good foundation for your upcoming nuptials.  Or, more practically, it's a drop in the bucket compared to (probably) your wedding costs, the costs of a marriage counselor and/or a divorce.
  • edited December 2011
    I don't think a weekend spent preparing for a lifelong committment is ridiculous or excessive. Two days is a blink of time compared to the 50+ years I hope you two spend together.

    Obviously I don't know what works best for your schedule/budget - a weekend away may not be feasible with work, budget, etc. and the few evening classes may suit your schedule. Likewise, the Engaged Encounter weekend may work better. You should chose what you can afford and what is logistically feasible.

    While the cost may seem high, the preparation for a lifelong marriage is certainly a worthwhile expense. 
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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    i agree with others.  put it into persepctive.

    $400 is an investment in your marriage.  many brides today spend $25K on food and drink for their wedding day, or $1000 on a gown - hardly an investment.

    however, where you have an option to choose what kind of prep you want, i'd pick what you think is best.  but i dont think you can determine which one is best based on money in this instance.
  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Seminarians get masters degrees and spend 6-8 years of formation in preparation of their vocation commitment, and that only involves one person.

    A marriage involves 2 people, I would think that one would see relatively the minimal requirements for marriage prep are dismally inadequate, and would want to do more to insure proper preparation, discernment, and spiritual readiness for their lifelong vocation. This includes an "investment" of sorts, not only time, but the minimal financial investment (which is where most people in the secular world put their value)...it should hurt a little--- makes us value it more.
  • edited December 2011
    I agree with the other ladies. We spent $350 for the 2 of us which included all of our food & drinks, lodging & materials.

    H and I both got a lot out of it, I would highly recommend it. My best advice would be for you to talk to your FI and tell him to go in with an open heart and mind. Although it is a Catholic program, they do not turn people from other faiths away. They really try to emphasize Christian marriage, etc. The priest or couples are not going to call your FI out just bc he is not Catholic. In fact for mine, we even had a Muslim there who was marrying a Catholic girl.

    The couples that put it on really care about you and want you to be happy in your lifelong committment. They have truly "been there, done that" with just about any issue, problem, etc that comes up in marriage. I highly recommend it.
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  • Theresa626Theresa626 member
    edited December 2011
    I did the weekend.  I thought it was expensive too. We paid 350 bucks for the weekend. We actually ended up really enjoying it.  I think you could do it either way and you would get something out of it.  
  • edited December 2011

    I think you should just go into it with an open mind and heart. I have not been through it yet, so i can't say much for it, but from what I hear it is awesome. I think anything that will help strengthen your relationship will be worth it. If you are on a tight budget and thats just too much for one time, try to save up set a side money or talk to your church about it. It may just seem like another thing to check off the list, but I think in the end you might really get a lot out of it. :)

    xoxo, Jennifer
  • edited December 2011
    Thank you for all your perspectives on this! I do agree in the grand scheme of things, it's not a lot- but that reasoning can be used for a lot of things to buy. I really wanted to know how worthwhile people thought it was. We still have to wait one more week since FI is getting his MBA and usually takes one saturday class- so we will know if we can attend soon, but this really helps to decide if we can attend, I think it would be easier for time committment than the other classes. Thanks ladies!
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