May 2012 Weddings

Family Vent

I can't believe SO many members of my family are not coming to the wedding. I know it's a 6 hour drive from where most of them live, but I thought they would be willing to do that for my wedding. Right now out of about 40 aunts/ uncles/ cousins/ second cousins, I have MAYBE 4 family members coming. My family went out of our way to attend all of their weddings- I just thought they would do the same.

And the BS excuse of "I took too much time off over Christmas so can't come to the wedding" REALLY chaps my a$$ because we sent out effing STD's. THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE FOR!!! To plan ahead and save one lousy day of vacation.

Another awesome one was "That's my birthday and I already made plans." You made plans in OCTOBER before you received your STD for your May birthday? 

Whatever. I'm just bummed because I never get to see my family and thought that this would be a great excuse to get everyone together. 

Anyway- Thanks for listening :/
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Re: Family Vent

  • That would chap my ass too.  I am doing a lot of "I did this for them and they cannot even do that for me" thinking even though I try hard not to since it makes me feel petty and bitchy.

    I just try to remember, not everyone can be as awesome as us! :)  Also focusing on those who ARE coming instead of who isn't is helping.  For example, I am widowed, and my first husband's parents and an aunt and uncle of his are traveling all the way from NY to NC to see ME get married.  Little ole me!  I am so touched by that.

    But I totally understand your frustration.

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  • mandi921vhmandi921vh member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited March 2012
    I am so sorry about your family, it pisses me off when I do huge things for people and then they won't do the same for me :( You will be so happy to marry your FI you won't even notice they aren't there.
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  • I'm so sorry you are dealing with this :/ I would be really upset too. 

    Not that it is on the same scale, but I felt the exact same way when a lot of girls were like "oh I can't make it to your shower bc as soon as I got the invite I made plans to go to the crappy beach 2 hrs away on the Texas coast" UGHHH

    Really though, I am truly sorry, and you don't deserve to be treated like that. Just like PP said, focus on the family and friends that will be coming and what a great time you will have with all of them. It really is their loss, not yours! :) Hope this cheers you up. 
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  • edited March 2012
    Bah, people can be so lazy sometimes.  Sorry to hear.  Their loss, though!
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  • Thank you, ladies :)

    We're definitely excited about who IS coming, but I think in my head I was thinking the wedding would be kind of like a family reunion, too.

    I guess I should tell more people what's going on in my head ;p
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  • In Response to Re: Family Vent:
    [QUOTE]That would chap my ass too.  I am doing a lot of "I did this for them and they cannot even do that for me" thinking even though I try hard not to since it makes me feel petty and bitchy. I just try to remember, not everyone can be as awesome as us! :)  Also focusing on those who ARE coming instead of who isn't is helping.  For example, I am widowed, and my first husband's parents and an aunt and uncle of his are traveling all the way from NY to NC to see ME get married.  Little ole me!  I am so touched by that. But I totally understand your frustration.
    Posted by RivieraBound[/QUOTE]

    Umm, this... I find myself doing it quite a bit and taking a step back and saying, Mailyn, stop being such a b**ch... what the heck :) Kind of like my grandmother who declined her shower invite because she had pneumonia... three and a half weeks before the shower :)

  • I totally and completely understand where you are coming from.  I sent my family STDs back in September (along with EVERYONE else), and a lot of them still aren't able to come even though I gave them 9 months notice.  :/  I know everyone says, "Well, the people who will be there definitely WANT to be there", but it doesn't really make me feel better.  I think it mostly just embarrasses me...we are going to have to have mixed seating because there will be like 10 people there for my side.  I just feel like people will think, "Wow, her family doesn't give a crap about here because none of them showed up."  I know when the day comes, I probably won't even notice...but it will probably hurt my feelings up until then.  I'll get over it and I love them all just the same whether they show up or not, but it just sucks.
  • I am so sorry that your family can't put their crap aside for your special day. I know how you feel. Part of my family lives in Florida. My fiance has never met them and they can only bother to come up the day of the wedding. Really??!!! But they are able to make enough time for my cousins wedding in September to stay up a few days. Thanks for making me feel special. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_family-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:d1423168-6754-4012-834e-9619899303ffPost:8c7ff24b-14ff-4167-a62d-44ab17770410">Re: Family Vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]I totally and completely understand where you are coming from.  I sent my family STDs back in September (along with EVERYONE else), and a lot of them still aren't able to come even though I gave them 9 months notice.  :/  I know everyone says, "Well, the people who will be there definitely WANT to be there", but it doesn't really make me feel better.  I think it mostly just embarrasses me...we are going to have to have mixed seating because there will be like 10 people there for my side.  I just feel like people will think, "Wow, her family doesn't give a crap about here because none of them showed up."  I know when the day comes, I probably won't even notice...but it will probably hurt my feelings up until then.  I'll get over it and I love them all just the same whether they show up or not, but it just sucks.
    Posted by gpapale1[/QUOTE]

    <div>This, exactly.</div><div>
    </div><div>We got another couple more no's over the weekend from more of my family. So it really will be just 4 people.</div><div>
    </div><div>I was worried about inviting way too many people, but now we aren't even going to reach our lowest estimate- We' invited 188, were hoping for 120, expecting 150, and right now have just under 90.</div><div>
    </div><div>I guess at least we'll save money on booze.</div>
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