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Reception - Help!

goldgoldgoldgold
First Comment
in Jewish Weddings
I wanted to get an idea if people are generally doing the birchot hamazon and sheva brochot after the meal or not. FI has been to a lot of Jewish weddings and says he's only seen that at Orthodox weddings. We're Conservative and the Rabbi's pushing this and we're not super keen on the idea.

Please give me some insight so we can discuss with our Rabbi! Thx!

Also, if you did a handwashing station where did you have it? At the entrance to the room, with the challah and wine, somewhere else?
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Re: Reception - Help!

  • Jeni35Jeni35 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think it depends. Some people are only doing the bread and wine blessing. It's a good question about the hand washing, albeit there is a bathroom near the entrance to where we are having our reception in the shul. I cannot see passing around the beautiful pot to 30 people (we're having a small wedding) and most guests are not Jewish; so I am sure they will be respectful; but I am not forcing them to pray with us. Perhaps at each table, you could have a small bowl with warm water and a cloth? 
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  • slbriz34slbriz34
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We may have something right near the table, just for us and my rabbi friend doing the blessing; those that want to partake can wash outside.  Otherwise, most guests are either non-Observant or not Jewish, so we are doing the grace after meals toward the end of the evening, and only those that want to do it will.  We will gather in a small section and do it, while allowing everyone else to continue to dance.

    A friend did the same at her wedding and she said it went well.
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  • ciaramanciaraman
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My FI is conservative, and I'm in the process of converting. We're not doing birchot at our wedding, partially to make my family more comfortable, partially because we'd prefer not to.  His sister had a conservative wedding in the synagogue and did birchot; his SIL did not do it, nor did his cousin.  As far as I can tell, that's mostly personal preference.

    However, each of those weddings (and ours will) did hamotzi before dinner.

    In my limited experience, I've seen no hand-washing stations.  But again, limited experience.
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  • JoelsGirl07JoelsGirl07
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We did it, my brother's didn't. It's your wedding. We're conservative, BTW.
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  • parker624parker624
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Our rabbi said that we have to do the hamotzi (we're having the patriarchs of our family do it-- his grandfather, my great uncle).  Our rabbi also told us that the birkat is now optional at receptions held at our shul.  He used to require that weddings do it, now its up to us.  We are not going to do the birkat because I think it breaks up the party too much, and I'm hoping by the time everyone is done eating they are up on the dance floor!
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