After many trips, lots of discussions (and a few passive aggressive arguments with family gah) We've put down a deposit on our venue.
We found a vineyard out in western NC and the beauty is the rental is for the entire weekend and allows us to have our entire bridal party and parents stay onsite for the weekend at no charge to them. It also allows us to turn our destination wedding (for our guests, not us as we live here) into a true weekend experience!
Woo! So excited!