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Gift for FMIL Question

AshnRoboAshnRobo
500 Comments
in September 2012 Weddings
Do I still need to get a gift for FI's mom if she isn't coming to the wedding?
Planning Bio Updated 8.29.11
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Re: Gift for FMIL Question

  • volleygurl0306volleygurl0306 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary
    Idk what etiquette is and I'd imagine there may not even be a rule for this since that isn't "typical."  IMO the gift is a way for saying thank you for being supportive of the wedding (whether financially or just emotionally).  I know there has been some drama with FI's family and I don't remember all the details but I would say if she genuinely wants to be there and has been involved (even if just over the phone asks questions) or has helped in any way, then yes.  If she hurt FI and is not coming because she's being a brat, I wouldn't bother personally.
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  • AshnRoboAshnRobo
    500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_gift-for-fmil-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:de78fa38-52db-40ba-88e5-f395b1843484Post:5eb474eb-157e-490a-a45a-d917cdce0efe">Re: Gift for FMIL Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]Idk what etiquette is and I'd imagine there may not even be a rule for this since that isn't "typical."  IMO the gift is a way for saying thank you for being supportive of the wedding (whether financially or just emotionally).  I know there has been some drama with FI's family and I don't remember all the details but I would say if she genuinely wants to be there and has been involved (even if just over the phone asks questions) or has helped in any way, then yes.  If she hurt FI and is not coming because she's being a brat, I wouldn't bother personally.
    Posted by volleygurl0306[/QUOTE]

    She has not helped at all. She requested we move the date so she could attend and then suddenly could not attend at all under any circumstances. (Or that's the story FI told me. She may have asked him to move it again and he refused.)

    She hasn't been supportive emotionally or financially. She has never asked me about the wedding even--except when she told us to change the date.

    In fairness, I barely know her. I've only met her once, and she never had a wedding. FI's father and her just had a JOP do the job. When she remarried she did the same.
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  • volleygurl0306volleygurl0306 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_gift-for-fmil-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:de78fa38-52db-40ba-88e5-f395b1843484Post:9f17947b-636b-414f-8730-c8f842648408">Re: Gift for FMIL Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Gift for FMIL Question : She has not helped at all. She requested we move the date so she could attend and then suddenly could not attend at all under any circumstances. (Or that's the story FI told me. She may have asked him to move it again and he refused.) She hasn't been supportive emotionally or financially. She has never asked me about the wedding even--except when she told us to change the date. In fairness, I barely know her. I've only met her once, and she never had a wedding. FI's father and her just had a JOP do the job. When she remarried she did the same.
    Posted by AshnRobo[/QUOTE]

    I know all of FI's family drama made him want to elope so unless FI objects, I wouldn't bother.  I'd ask him though.
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