Your first place

GJones27 · July 2011

For those who are married or for those starting to set up your first place with the future hubby, what has your experience been like?

I just got back from Boston, where DH and I went to look at furniture. We couldn't agree on anything! DH is opinionated, and he wants modern furniture that -- in my feminine opinion -- looks like something from a bachelor pad (he loves Barney's apartment in How I Met Your Mother, for example). I, on the other hand, dream of setting up our place to look like something out of Pottery Barn, with a lot of soft lines and old-classy looking furniture. The only thing we agreed on was a bookshelf thus far!

What has your experience been like? Does DH/FI agree with your tastes? How did you resolve the issue?

amongthelilies25 · July 2011

hehe... we havn't started looking at stuff yet... but he has already expressed his concern about our apartment looking to "girly". lol

so this shall be fun. lol. i am hoping that we will be able to agree on some stuff. i just want it to look like a home... and not just an apartment with stuff in it. my FMIL isn't much on decorating so he is used to bare walls and mismatching throw pillows.. lol. i want our place to look cute. when we go to other's houses i am sure to ask him "did you see their bathroom? wasn't it cute?" lol.

sessionswedding · July 2011

My FI truly does not care, lol. I have already picked out most of the furniture, decorative items, color schemes for each room, etc. I showed it all to FI and he said "looks good to me." I get the keys August 7, and I'm so ready to get started!

sprtychick10 · July 2011

For the most part FI & I have agreed on most things we have purchased for the house. We just bought a couch and that was our first real big purchase for the house. We both talked about what we wanted out of a couch and kept looking until we found something we both liked. It takes patience, time and effort. Just listen to each other and don't make your way seem the only way there is.

FaithCaitlin · July 2011

FI and I agree on home decor, thank goodness. We both like a very clean, modern look with pops of color! We plan to get most of our stuff from Ikea, if that helps to give you a better idea of our style.

I'm grateful we both agree! I can't wait for our first place!

DramaGeek · July 2011

Oh sweetie, I have the most opinionated H on the planet. Registering was a nightmare. It took us months to agree on dishes. MONTHS. When we were first married, it took us 8 months to agree on a kitchen table. We were kitchen table-less for 8 months!

We lived in our new house more than 2 years before we could agree on paint color for the kitchen and living room. Seriously. We moved in June 2008 and painted both in Feb 2011. We have VERY different styles. He frequently looks at my parents and asks "how did she turn out like this?" because neither of my parents love color or craziness like I do. They always answer, in unison, "her grandmother."

mrandmrsbrist · July 2011

My FI is quite similar to Drama's DH. We registered online simply because he needed to have every option possible in front of him. It took us over a week to decide on dishes. Something about not wanting a set. And then after we picked something and I got the okay to register for it, he said he wanted to go look at them. We went to the store and he decided he didn't like them. Back to square one. I think that pattern repeated itself with Target and BB&B. T'was awesome.

As for the furniture, we don't have a ton of money to spend on it. And there are some things (like my sewing table) that are mine and he doesn't get a say in. But things like our couch and our bed have been a challenge. I get frustrated and we don't talk about it for a few days and then we re-visit it when I have more patience. He doesn't seem to get frustrated with me, but then again, he's a lot more set on things than I am.

iamjoesgurl · July 2011

DH moved into my house so I had all of the furniture except that we decided to get new bedroom furniture as a wedding present to ourselves (with his parents' help). We went to a place where Amish and Mennonites custom make furniture and picked out what we wanted. I guess I wasn't too picky and he wasn't either so it was fairly easy. The other thing we have done since he moved in was to have a wall unit installed in our family room. I wanted his opinion on it and he didn't really have one. It was hard for me to pick out because I didn't know what to get but he wouldn't weigh in so I guess I had the opposite problem.

I'm not much of a decorator and DH seems to not care at all so I guess I got lucky.

(By the way, we finished the basement for DH's man cave and he decorated it his way. I don't really like it and it isn't my style, but it is his space. So I guess we each have our space that is decorated the way we like it.)

ochemjenn · July 2011

DH is more interested in decorating than I am, so I defer to him, though our tastes are usually pretty similar. DH chose his new desk on his own. We both fell in love with the same set of tv cabinets at a yard sale (aka the only ones there).

The most challenging experience was when we were in a friend's home decor store. She wanted us to show her what we liked so she could give us a wedding gift. DH kept pointing out things that I hated. I couldn't say I didn't like these things she had in her shop, so I was just VERY vocal about the things I liked. Then when we were talking in the back room (where shoppers don't go), I saw a floor lamp I liked and spoke up. DH loved it too, so she put a ribbon on it for us!

Incidentally, someone else gave us a platter from the shop that DH had liked but I'm not a fan of. It's ours, so I'm not going to say anything. Someone else gave us a VERY nice Italian platter I'm not fond of, but DH likes it, so, again, I'm keeping my mouth shut.

azdancer8 · July 2011

DH and I have very similar tastes, so we don't have any trouble agreeing on items for the house. That being said, when I moved in with him, his living room furniture was all borrowed, so we just returned that are currently use what I already had. (It all coordinates anyways.) The bedroom we left as he had it (his bed was bigger), and just cleaned out half the closet and added in a small dresser for me.

Most of what ended up on our registry was for the kitchen, so DH let me do most of it, with a few of his additional choices added in. As far as "new" things went, I was the pickier of the two of us, so I would narrow down to a few options and ask which he liked best. (I seriously spent an hour in the silverware section of Bed Bath Beyond picking up all the samples because I have to have the right "balance" when holding my utensils.)

drama1308 · July 2011

FI is WAAAAAY more interested in decorating than me. He's into that stuff and I could really care less. We agree on most things though, so I mostly just trust his judgement.

agape1cor813 · July 2011

I just want to state that I love love love decorating and interior design and all of that (if I had any aptitude at math, I would have majored in interior design).

My husband and I have very similar tastes when it comes to style and design; the big problem is that we are still 400 miles apart for the time being, and he needed furniture right away because he was sleeping on an air mattress and living out of a suitcase for a week. He ended up picking out all the furniture, and he did a great job. (I would show you a photo, but the photo loading on The Knot is not cooperating.)

In my opinion, the best thing you can do is let him a a bit more of the modern design like he wants, but request that you stick with a more neutral color palette (browns, taupes, greys, etc.) and then you can put your unique stamp on it with nice pops of color in the accessories. You can absolutely soften up ANYTHING and make it a little more feminine and less "bachelor."

If you want any advice at all on it, just because I totally geek out on decorating and design and all that, I'd be more than willing to talk to you about it.

GJones27 · July 2011

Thanks, girls, for your perspectives. I totally envy those of you who agree on furniture! But it's also good to know others are having trouble, too, so I'm not alone. :-)

Agape, I would totally be interested in hearing what you can advise! Can you recommend any good websites with pictures of rooms that might be considered a compromise?

LeahVB2011 · July 2011

DH and I were very forunate that we had most of what we needed to get started. Most of what is furinshing our home was stuff we already had or that family gave to us. Our biggest fight was over bedding. DH wanted something soft , dark colored andd inexpensive. I wanted something pretty, girly and also inexpensive. We went to 5 or 6 stores before settling for one at Target. It's not exactly what I wanted but it's a compromise that we were both happy with. Plus when we upgrade to a queen size bed, we will get a new bedding set. Honestly though, DH understands that this is my home and I want to make it look nice so he's pretty willing for me to have my way.

faith415 · July 2011

FI and I were lucky enough to have someone give us furniture for our apartment. We don't really like it, but it'll work till we pick out what we want. FI is a graphic design major and is way picky about color schemes and stuff, more than I expected since he's so laid back about everything else. Luckily for us, we found a bed set that had the dominate color I wanted to coordinating colors FI wanted and were able to go from there. We did a lot of compromising!!
One of our biggest issues was that I'm moving into our apartment at the end of the month and FI wont move in till January. He really felt like he would be moving into my place. So he's coming up to help me move all of the furniture into the apartment, but I'll be using all of the things that I already had for the bedroom and bathroom. That way, when he moves in we'll completely redecorate with the new stuff we picked out.

SuMmErKuTiE · July 2011

I had lived on my own for years before I even met DH so I had already accumulated furniture and a bedroom set. DH moved into his own place around the time I met him so he purchased a new bedroom set and living room set and a big flat screen tv of course. Now we use my bedroom set in our master and his bedroom set in one of the guestrooms We have also merged all of our respective furniture and we still don't have enough and have empty rooms since we just moved into our new house this weekend. Our apartment was overflowing, but now we have empty rooms which is exciting because we can watch our family and our home grow.

kitkat610 · July 2011

Our situation is a lot like Summer's. With a little GJones thrown in. DH loves modern, and I love all the antiques that have been given to me over the years by my family.

We had both lived on our own for many years, but luckily we have just the right stuff from each side. The living room furniture is mostly his with my table and bookcase. He had a king bedroom set, which is a must because he's 6'5. All the kitchen and dinning room stuff is mine, and my bedroom furniture is in the guest room.

I am not looking forward to buying more furniture when we have a house. Although when we have shopped for it, it hasn't been so bad because he will wait until we agree on something. It is just so hard not to make the puking face sometimes when he suggests things

. I just try to look for classic furniture with clean lines so we both get something we want.

ochemjenn · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_first-place?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:424c7738-8ffe-4c07-a805-f834388d012ePost:5324c2a5-28a7-442a-bc19-a52ab4fe6bbe">Re: Your first place</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks, girls, for your perspectives. I totally envy those of you who agree on furniture! But it's also good to know others are having trouble, too, so I'm not alone. :-) Agape, I would totally be interested in hearing what you can advise! <strong>Can you recommend any good websites with pictures of rooms that might be considered a compromise?</strong>
Posted by GJones27[/QUOTE]

I watch the show, but it looks like the website has some good tips:
<a href="http://www.hgtv.com/secrets-from-a-stylist/show/index.html">http://www.hgtv.com/secrets-from-a-stylist/show/index.html</a>

The whole idea is that she combines the styles of both people into one room.

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