Didn't want to threadjack..........

Marrin713 · May 2010

......from Tracey's thread so I'll ask here: have any of you, at any time in this wedding process, just feel "blah" about the whole thing? I know there's other factors at play here: death of my dad recently (and the 1-1/2 years of the cancer that preceded that), my adult son's rehab, friendship issues, finances in this economy. At first planning the wedding was exciting, but now I just feel like "meh, whatever."

My best friend who is standing up for me at the ceremony is all agog with ideas and plans, but right now I just don't care. My coworker has mentioned several times that I don't seem "into" the wedding. I am, but perhaps not the planning process. We're getting married this July and I'm hoping that some spark of enthusiasm will come along.

In the meantime, I'll make an appt. with my PCP or just ask my employer for some advice. I hate the thought of going back on Prozac - - - just detoxed from it after being on it since my 30's.

Anyone?

MikesAngie · May 2010

I understand how you can feel "meh, whatever." about the planning... It can get tiresome and there are things that can just flat take the wind out of your sails. First off it's one of life's major changes, and from the sounds of things you have had a lot of them recently - you could be feeling overwhelmed with all the changes some forced, some by choice.

Have you given yourself a weekend off from wedding planning? You might want to consider that. Sometimes we just need things to be "normal" without thinking or talking about anything wedding related.

I don't know what you enjoy doing or that helps you change gears, but that is what you should do. Working out, going for a hike, taking in the sites (being a tourist in your own town), dancing, lounging with a good book, yard work, changing up the decor in your home... whatever it is do that for a weekend and see how you feel on Monday. I hope better...

Amomtomanyluvs · May 2010

yeah i understand a little part of that. first i should be on zoloft for anxiety myself. but i think for me its the cost. we have no money and all i want to do is go out and spend money on the wedding, but everything i make from my home job and all he makes goes to bills...we have none left over. and if my ex would pay child support we would have that money

so its frustrating...and makes me not want to do anything else for fear we wont have the funds...

so i break it up...i buy things here and there...likeverytime i go to walmart for diapers or bread...i buy a candle for the centerpiece. i can spare $1...here and there...

it has helped.

Marrin713 · May 2010

Throwing menopause into the mix isn't helping either. One day I feel pretty good - meaning optimistic, and then the next day I wake up wanting to put on a clownsuit, pick up an Uzi, and climb the nearest watertower. <sigh> It's like this feeling of despair; luckily the clownsuit days don't come along very often. Mostly it's this low-lying "meh" feeling.

I do exercise every day otherwise weight would just get out of control. I take my supplements. I try to do relaxing things. Maybe I just need that chemical assist again. Prozac stopped me from dwelling on certain things. Once my thoughts would go in that direction, the 'zac would just shut them down. And while I didn't feel the lows, I certainly didn't feel the highs of life either, and it was those I really missed. But I guess I'll just have to sacrifice for the greater good.

Thanks ladies

NJ Jen · May 2010

I get that way. There's SO much to do that I didn't have last wedding. Like, um, kids and selling a house and moving! But I am VERY excited to get married - just hard sometimes to get hopped up for the wedding planning.

msblumoo · May 2010

I can so empathize with you Marrin. I would try to hold off on taking the Prozac though. You definitely have a reason to feel like you do and I am sure you are still going through the grieving process for your father. Especially with your wedding so close I know that loss can certainly be having an impact on your mood. I am getting married in November and my dad passed away 4yrs ago but as I think more of my approaching wedding day I think of him so much more and it really saddens me that he won't physically be there to celebrate. I say "physically" though because I do know in spirit he will be close. Then you have all the other goings on. But hopefully the closer your day comes you will start to feel that initial joy again and I would hate for you not to feel that joy fully because of the dulling affects of Prozac. I took Zoloft years ago so I know how that can be. Also I think in this whole process it is natural to be not so caring of it some time. I have been like that lately just because there have been so many other things happening I just can't keep up that "oh I'm so happy I'm getting married" enthusiam. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

AdelphiTN · May 2010

Well not to mention that on other boards and on tv, we see so much wedding hype, like planning it should be our full time job. good grief! I would think that a lot of us on THIS board are working toward the marriage - and the wedding is a great little party to mark the transition. I'm just not so wound up about it - which can read as "not into it" to someone else. I have a lot going on - this wedding is just one of the many! it's a GREAT item on the to do list, but i just don't have time to giggle and swirl about. ;-)

handfast4me · May 2010

First, I am so sorry for you loss, but I am so glad that your son has accepted some help.

I wanted to cancel I felt so blah about 3 months before my wedding. These things are normal. I will also self-disclose that I was on anti-depressants for about a year after my divorce. I just could not stop crying, and I needed some help to get over that hump. If it's not a situational type depression, and you have a chemical imbalance, you need to go on anti-depresent NOW. If it's situational, and you need help, that's OK, too.

Prozac is sort of an older drug now, there are a lot better ones out there. Just make sure you don't need to be treated for anxiety, too. The drugs that treat both anxiety AND depression are the ones that cause the most problems.

And I agree with the previous posters who mentioned that we see wedding hype everywhere. What we don't see is marriage hype. If we saw that instead of the ceremony, then I think we'd concentrate more on what the wedding results in rather than the ceremony and the party afterwards.

Another way around this, if you're really not into it, is to do what I did. We had a very intimate, romantic private ceremony. Ours was on a beach, but you could do yours anywhere. It was just the two of us, no attendants, and no guests. And we were able to say things to one another that we never would have had we had anyone else present.

Try to enjoy yourself, and concentrate on how great it is that you've found a great guy.

Best wishes!

thealphabride · May 2010

Marrin, I can feel you on a lot of the issues. We have had a long engagement so I have been able to take long planning breaks. Most people dont' really want to hear about the wedding, and lately I have been second guessing the big wedding thing wishing I had done something smaller. But the train is rolling down the track now and nothing is stopping it. I feel good I have a most things done. Just need to finish the invites and paper products. Sometimes I do feel blah about the wedding too.

The wedding is not the only thing in our lives, we are working, raising kids, paying bills, taking care of older parents and grandparents etc, so we have a lot on our collective plates.

luckyme502 · May 2010

I feel that way sometimes, like today when I was getting my hair trial. The woman doing my hair was all aren't you so excited. I was like meh. How long can you sustain that level of excitement?

AdelphiTN · May 2010

but your hair looks fabulous, daaaahlin'. you can get excited about THAT.

Marrin713 · May 2010

As many others wrote here about sustaining that initial level of excitement esp. when there's so much else going on - it's exhausting. And I am very low keyed so for me to get all giggly and girly - it's just not me. But at the bottom of it all is that I am going to marry the man I truly love and that's enough for me. I think the enormity of the planning etc (even for a simple wedding like ours) makes me feel jittery and anxious. Worried in advance over what could go wrong - well, thats just crazy-making but I still do it.

<<<The wedding is not the only thing in our lives, we are working, raising kids, paying bills, taking care of older parents and grandparents etc, so we have a lot on our collective plates. >>>> This too. With Dad gone, mom is living down in FL by herself. Yes, my aunt is there and she has her good friends, but I still worry.

Ah well ladies - to better days eh?

Didn't want to threadjack..........

Re: Didn't want to threadjack..........

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