Registry and Gift Forum

no registry

what is the polite way of informing people we want money instead of gifts (sorry if that sounded harsh) my fiance and i have lived together for three years and have everything we need.... help!

Re: no registry

  • I'm in the same shoes! I'm chinese and my FI is American. All my Chinese family and friends know to give us "red envelop" with cash in there as Chinese traidtion. But our American side family and friend are asking if we have registry which we really don't...
  • i am chinese and my fiance is eastern european. we are not planning on registering because as PP said chinese guests generally give cash. when people ask us where are we registering we're just saying that we're not and leave it at that. i had other friends that didn't register. and they received mostly cash. you shouldn't tell people that you want cash.
  • My FI and I registered on thehoneymoon.com and we are encouraging people to help us start our lives together with a great honeymoon.

    We also have a small registry at Bed Bath and Beyond for upgrade items and little luxeries we wouldn't normally buy ourselves.  My Mom said for the shower and for those guests that really want to give us something to open, its very important to have some kind of registry.

    If you spread the word about wanting $$, most of your guests will understand, but I do suggest having a small registry for that one aunt that insists on buying you something.
  • You don't tell people what you want unless they ask, whether you are registered or not.  You can tell your parents you are not registering, and they can tell guests who ask that you haven't registered and are saving for X.  Personally, I would avoid mentioning anything about money yourself, because it will sound very grabby.  Just say you aren't registered.  Keep in mind that some people will want to get you physical gifts anyway, not everybody is comfortable giving money as a wedding gift.

    I have never understood how living together for X years means you have everything you need.  FI and I have lived together for 2 years, but we have a bunch of cobbled together post-college stuff, not nice stuff.  All you people who "have everything you need" must be huge shoppers.  There really isn't ANY house stuff that you would like but put off buying for yourself because it gets expensive and you can't buy yourself everything you want???
    Married 10/2/10
  • If you have "everything" then doesn't that mean you don't want for anything?

    Having "stuff" doesn't mean that you get to go up a tier with a gift request.
  • FAQ in siggy below and sticky thread at the top of the page
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
    image

  • elijenner04elijenner04 member
    First Comment
    edited May 2010
    thank you so much for your suggestions! in reply to quote queen in Chicago... i am not a huge shopper but i feel that we have all the necessities we need to be comfortable. maybe we will start a small registry certain things that would be nice to have but for the most part, we would much rather receive gifts that can either help with the wedding expenses or to start a small savings account for a home...any lil bit helps....
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:54a53b5c-dc8b-4bb5-84e8-78763f3ca6ebPost:ea0a2423-1e49-4440-a6bd-6371bb01da19">Re: no registry</a>:
    [QUOTE]thank you so much for your suggestions! in reply to quote queen in Chicago... i am not a huge shopper but i feel that we have all the necessities we need to be comfortable. maybe we will start a small registry certain things that would be nice to have but for the most part, we would much rather receive gifts that can either help with the wedding expenses or to start a small savings account for a home...any lil bit helps....
    Posted by elijenner04[/QUOTE]

    I don't know anybody who wouldn't like to receive money.  And guests know that.  The question is, what are the guests who aren't comfortable giving money going to do?  If you don't register at all, you might get more people giving you money, but those who really want to get you something tangible won't have any guidance and may get you things you really don't care for.
    Married 10/2/10
  • Guests know money is a welcome gift.  If they wanted to give you money, they would just write you a check without ever asking.  People ask for registries because they don't want to give you money.

    There is no polite way to ask for cash.  You can just not register, but you'll probably end up with a lot of white elephants as well as cash.  Also, if you don't have a registry, you can't have a shower.

    Relying on gifts to help with wedding expenses is an incredibly stupid financial move.  Your wedding should be what you can afford, and totally paid for before the actual day.
  • You can register for some small items as well as gift cards.  This way you aren't just asking for cash, but you will get the guft cards to the places you woul like to purchase the items for your home eventually.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards