Over Invited! Vent. Panic. PSA. Longish.

tomkat7677 · April 2012

Yep, I'm the girl they warn about in the bridal magazines... don't invite more people than you want to attend. I've heard the rule that 15% will RSVP no. I only budgeted for 125 people, but several bruised egos and hurt feelings later our guest list started growing past the 125 with the idea that we had 15% wiggle room. FI added cousins who live far away who he swears will never make the trip. I added the random co-worker that was overly interested in every detail of the wedding thinking it was only one more person. We both added several out of towners thinking it will be nice to include them, they won't come. My mom forgot "dear" friends. FI's mom pulled family out of her wazoo the last minute. Anywho our guest list was up to 177 when we sent our invites last Thursday. If everyone RSVP's that's like an extra 3k over budget! At a 10k total budget wedding (paying for ourselves), that's a HUGE uh oh!

Well of course we got some of our first replies back already. Yep, you guessed it. The far away cousins, yes. Some out of towners, yes. Co-worker, yes.

Trying NOT to panic. Why do I never do as I'm told? Oh and I just found out that our ceremony space only holds 150 which was never brought up because I said 125 guests. Going to curl in a little ball and hang out in denial until June 30th.

travistanya · April 2012

Oh wow. I have no advice but I sympathize. I am hoping I do not fall into the same predicament as you. If we do, I will be cutting out my unnecessary things like my nails, tanning, things I don't HAVE to have. Good luck!

Nindakay · April 2012

Awe that stinks, but try not to panic. Everything will work out

daria24 · April 2012

Firsttry not to panic as your initial RSVPs come in. At first we were only getting Yes's, the No's definitely take longer to come in. In the meantime, you need to look into a backup ceremony location. You probably will have enough declines but I'd rather be prepared JIC than trying to figure things out two weeks before the wedding.

cmg317 · April 2012

I'm in the same boat. I planned on about 100. I do have a lot of OOT guests, but more are coming than I thought. My venue can hold far more than I invited, but now I'm going to have to rent extra chairs. People are lazy about sending their RSVPs back. If they don't tell me they are coming and show up, they may have to stand.!

peachykeen26 · April 2012

Our guest list grew too. Fortunately, all of the "extras" have declined.

melfacto · April 2012

I'm in the same boat, I really don't want more than 230-240! Not sure if we will be that lucky with a guest count over 300. Wouldn't panic yet though, I would think you are bound to get at least the 25 or so nos to allow for your party to fit in the venue space!

aor9487 · April 2012

Try not to panic. You still have quite a bit of time before you start getting a better idea of who is going to RSVP yes or no. Like PP said, try to have a back up plan just in case.

We've been surprised to get "no's" from people we through for sure were going to attend, so you never know!

ncd5015 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_over-invited-vent-panic-psa-longish?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:41d55ff1-bab0-4c62-8b28-ff7947000dafPost:b364f14c-0d96-4540-acc3-9d4e5aaf2930">Re:Over Invited! Vent. Panic. PSA. Longish.</a>:
[QUOTE]Firsttry not to panic as your initial RSVPs come in. At first we were only getting Yes's, the No's definitely take longer to come in. In the meantime, you need to look into a backup ceremony location. You probably will have enough declines but I'd rather be prepared JIC than trying to figure things out two weeks before the wedding.
Posted by daria24[/QUOTE]

This. I would have some sort of backup in case the majority of people come. At my sister's wedding, only 3 people said no, and my aunt just went to a wedding where everyone came, and they over invited expecting people to say no.

Abonsut · April 2012

Whatever you decide to do, I would start tucking away spare cash now, just in case (worst case senario- you have extra for the honeymoon!) It's hard because of course you want to have everyone there. We, on the other hand, have the opposite problem. We're only inviting 147 to a 150 person wedding, but we decided to only invite our absolute nearest and dearest. It might look a little sparse, but I love absoultely everyone who will be there (well, actually with one exception- but my mom said that I HAD to invite my boss. But other than that).

edw7479 · April 2012

Sorry you're dealing with this. I'd start tucking some money away for sure. We had several people we thought wouldn't make it we wanted them to for sure, but we didn't think they'd want to travel far, spend the money, etc.. Well, it looks like we're at about 95 attendance! Yay for us!!! We're super excited because we planned and budgeted for 100 attendance and figured anything we might have left over would look great in our savings account! Hope everything works out! And you may want to go post your predicament on a few other boards so maybe others will listen about not inviting too many people! :

edw7479 · April 2012

In Response to Re:Over Invited! Vent. Panic. PSA. Longish.:[QUOTE]Sorry you're dealing with this. I'd start tucking some money away for sure. We had several people we thought wouldn't make it we wanted them to for sure, but we didn't think they'd want to travel far, spend the money, etc.. Well, it looks like we're at about 95 attendance! Yay for us!!! We're super excited because we planned and budgeted for 100 attendance and figured anything we might have left over would look great in our savings account!

Hope everything works out! And you may want to go post your predicament on a few other boards so maybe others will listen about not inviting too many people! : Posted by edw7479[/QUOTE]

Seriously, TK mobile is f'ed up. It took all my punctuation and paragraphs out! That was supposed to be 95 percent, and there are several others missing. Hopefully it can be deciphered, sorry!

kelsey+brandon · April 2012

We're sending out invites this weekend and it definitely grew from 211 to 231 before all was said and done. I've definitely learned that with my shower the people you think will come won't be able to and the ones you aren't sure about will be able to make it. Normally, it all works out in the end.

Try not to stress!! I really don't want to have to pay for all 231 people (I was really hoping for 180), but if all those people want to help us celebrate, then we'll make it work and I'm sure y'all will too!

Danidawn20 · April 2012

My mom added more people too, I wanted only 120, we are up to 145. I know 25 people isn't much, more but I undertand how you feel completely. It is very stressful.

michelletobin · April 2012

We ran into the same problem, we budgeted for 100 but ended up with a guest list of about 130. However, like others have said, the No's take longer to come in. With it being summer, we have found some of the guest we thought for sure would come responded that they have family trips, kids sports tournaments, etc. So I was kinda suprised by some of the No's and same with some of the yeses. I wouldn't stress to much yet. I would be really hard if I had to try to find another venue so close to the date but I am confident that you won't be over your max allowed, you may be over your initial budget however so you may have to sacrifice some things to accomadate, but give it some time until you get a better idea of what RSVP totals you will have. Hang in there, it will work out.

MoonlightSilver · April 2012

That's a pretty scary situation to put yourself in, OP. It's time to start cutting back. People LOVE weddings and will go out of their way to attend one.

Start looking for a new ceremony location now. I would talk with a couple different venues and have an agreement that they'll save a date for you without a deposit.

I'd also start cutting out things you don't need. Don't buy favors, don't do programs, don't worry about the extras. Aisle runners, uplighting, monogrammed napkins can all be done without.

michellep1 · April 2012

I have the exact same problem. Our reception ballroom fits 225 and we have invited about 260. And there are a few people that I don't have down as "and guest" that I think I'm going to put with a guest, so it's just really out of control. I was having like massive nervous breakdowns every night, but I've found that margaritas really help with that. Now I just don't care, hopefully lots of people say no!

precamies · April 2012

I would feel uneasy too. but hopfully it works out. sometimes the people you think for sure will be there can't get the time off or are already booked for something else.

I can't imagine how you feel. I've been very stringent about the guests list, but FI keeps inviting more people. And we're only supposed to have 30-35. now it's looking like 40 and I'm biting my nails. I just don't know what I would do if I was in your situation. it seems to me, that you are still rather calm. let's hope for the best!

[Deleted User] · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_over-invited-vent-panic-psa-longish?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:41d55ff1-bab0-4c62-8b28-ff7947000dafPost:b96f87ea-db14-4140-9cd5-05ead6bcb0d7">Over Invited! Vent. Panic. PSA. Longish.</a>:
[QUOTE]Yep, I'm the girl they warn about in the bridal magazines... don't invite more people than you want to attend. I've heard the rule that 15% will RSVP no. I only budgeted for 125 people, but several bruised egos and hurt feelings later our guest list started growing past the 125 with the idea that we had 15% wiggle room. FI added cousins who live far away who he swears will never make the trip. I added the random co-worker that was overly interested in every detail of the wedding thinking it was only one more person. We both added several out of towners thinking it will be nice to include them, they won't come. My mom forgot "dear" friends. FI's mom pulled family out of her wazoo the last minute. Anywho our guest list was up to 177 when we sent our invites last Thursday. If everyone RSVP's that's like an extra 3k over budget! At a 10k total budget wedding (paying for ourselves), that's a HUGE uh oh! Well of course we got some of our first replies back already. Yep, you guessed it. The far away cousins, yes. Some out of towners, yes. Co-worker, yes. Trying NOT to panic. Why do I never do as I'm told? Oh and I just found out that our ceremony space only holds 150 which was never brought up because I said 125 guests. Going to curl in a little ball and hang out in denial until June 30th.
Posted by tomkat7677[/QUOTE]

My FI's mom did this with the initial guest list! I was super stressed when I realized that our list was right around 400 and seating at the reception hall will be set for about 300. We have heard that there are other events the same day (one of my dad's aunts is turning 90 that day so she'll be having a party; other weddings; etc.) so my stress level is slowly on the decline. We do have a backup plan with the reception hall to have picnic tables set up outside (weather permitting) just in case we do end up over the 300 mark.

tomkat7677 · April 2012

Thanks ladies. More 'accepts' in the mail today (10 more couples). No 'declines' yet. I guess I need to start making a back up plan for the ceremony space just incase.

nanciee220 · April 2012

I hear ya girl. We started with 200. After all has been said and done, our guestlist is at about 250 right now. I'm actually happy to get "declines" in the mail lol.

tigurlily · April 2012

yep, i'm in the same boat too. i wanted like 125 people... i think we ended up inviting around 180... which about our hall's max. i'm really hoping for some no's soon! (they've all been yes's so far... but we've gotten hardly any back, so....)

Over Invited! Vent. Panic. PSA. Longish.

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