Mass or No Mass??

goetzr19 · August 2010

My FI and I are debating whether or not to have Communion in our ceremony. It would add another half an hour to the length of the ceremony. I'm curious to find out if there are any other ladies out there in the same position....

awick14 · August 2010

Neither of us are really religous so we are not having one. It would make the wedding to long!

[Deleted User] · August 2010

This is really a personal/spiritual question. For us Catholics, marriage is a sacrament and if both husband and wife can share in receiving the Eucharist, they should by all means do so if they truly believe in it and feel strongly about it.

If you are a spiritual person/God plays a part in your life, I would think you would want to. However, if God isn't really that important to you, then don't. This is something for you and your FI to decide. You are the ones that will have to look back on your decision.

skippylouwho · August 2010

If you aren't really spiritual and/or can't both share in it then you might also want to consider your guests. If most are also catholic, then I would have it. If most are not, then I would consider not having it since they can't participate in communion in your church (not catholic so they could in mine if they believe Jesus died for their sins).

I like taking communion myself but adding another half hour to a wedding is kind of a lot of time to add.

mica178 · August 2010

We're not. I'm Catholic and my FI is not. Our priest said that when the couple is of mixed religions and a substantial percentage of the guests cannot receive communion, a full mass with communion is discouraged.

But ultimately, it's up to what you and your FI want. I wouldn't base this decision on the time it adds to the ceremony but on what you believe is spiritually best.

bibliophile2010 · August 2010

I agree, you need to look at your spiritual situation and make a decision together. If both of you are Catholic, I strongly encourage you to do the mass, even if it does add 20-30 minutes. If one of you is not Catholic, I further agree that the best direction is to skip it.

danieliza1127 · August 2010

We had a non-religious ceremony, but as a wedding guest, my vote is no communion.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · August 2010

Other: non-religious ceremony. FI was raised Catholic, but I asked and he did not want a full Catholic Mass. Just a simple ceremony.

Do it if it's important to you. If not, skip it.

JReidSmith · August 2010

My fiance and I (both Catholic) went back and forth about this. I originally wanted the full mass, but when we decided to have our wedding on a Friday, the only time we could do it was 7:30, and we thought the full mass would take too long if we were starting that late--I didn't want my guests getting off work, rushing to make the wedding, and then not being able to eat until 8:45-9:00.

We decided to just have the ceremony with no communion service, but his parents were VERY upset by that idea. I really love my in-laws, and since it was originally what I wanted anyway, we decided to go with the full mass. People can just eat a snack before Fiance was happy to keep the peace with his folks, so it was a win-win.

It's a personal decision, and you've gotten good advice here. I'd discuss it with your priest as well--ours was helpful in making the decision.

brianabrad · August 2010

We are having a Catholic wedding but since I am not Catholic our Father will not allow the full mass. From my understanding the only difference in our ceremony will be the communion and that's fine with both of us. Since my entire family isn't Catholic and FI's dad doesn't have the right to take communion it would be very few guest that would even have the right for communion. It would just seem odd for us.

Kreskin79 · August 2010

I put "undecided" 'cause I fouled up and clicked the wrong radio button.

In reality, we won't have a full Mass because my FI was baptized Episcopalian - not Catholic.

Edited: I also fouled up typing "fouled"

JCM10 · August 2010

We're still in negotiations, because I'm not catholic and FI is. I'd say if you're both Catholic definitely do it; if not, don't. It just causes a lot of stress/awkwardness for your other half as well as your guests when they aren't welcome at the Table like they would be in their own Protestant churches.

ellen73 · August 2010

Like others have said, it comes down to what you believe. We are both Catholic, and believe marriage is a sacrament. We had a full mass (and an awesome mass at that). Besides the vows- one of the best parts was offering each other communion.

I wouldn't worry about the time at all. We got married on a Friday, had the mass at 4:30 and headed to the hall by 6pm (after taking pictures for 30 min). We had around 250 people show for the mass.

Whatever you do- make sure it is something you will fully enjoy

clearheavens · August 2010

Time isn't the big issue, it's how you want to celebrate your wedding. If you believe marriage is a Sacrament, then having a full Mass make sense because you would share together that belief as well as the focal point of the Catholic faith, which is the Eucharist. But if you don't believe in the Eucharist or if the word Sacrament doesn't have the full meaning for you, then it would make sense not to.

pandasquishy · August 2010

We didn't have it at our ceremony because we're Lutheran, but most of our guests were either Catholic or Jewish and wouldn't be able to partake anyway. I didn't want to spend the time and we figured if a guest wanted it, they could go to church the next morning (sunday) and get it. DH and I received communion after the ceremony privately though, because it was important to us to have it ourselves on our wedding day.

sunnysarahinNC · August 2010

I'm Episcopalian, so we're doing Communion, but my other guests will not partake. I agree with everyone above- it's about what you're comfortable with. For us, it was an important component that it's the first thing we do together as husband and wife

dpierski · August 2010

We are not having communion. out of nearly 200 guests, only about 1/4 are catholic, which is mainly his family (they are Polish). I was raised Church of Chirst and converted to Catholism last spring, so no one in my family is Catholic. We didn't want too many people uncomfortable or confused, considering a ton of people have never stepped foot into a Catholic church.

greenic · August 2010

We aren't having mass.

Mass or No Mass??

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