It this TACKY?!?!?

joeymich · June 2011

My FI and I have been together for 8 years and we have everything we need for our home...So, we didn't want to register for stuff we didn't need....We can use the help for our honeymoon...Do you think it's tacky asking for money? How can we word the in our invitations?

Thank Ladies

chiave2 · June 2011

I don't think it's tacky at all! In fact, my FI and I are planning on doing the same thing. I am interested to see what the suggestions are for wording the invitations.

joeymich · June 2011

I just think that would be sooooo much easier

Thank u!

Kfmarried · June 2011

There's a website called honeyfund or something where you can register for a honeymoon.

Etiquette states that it is inappropriate to put ANY registry information on your wedding invitations, so yeah, I think that would be tacky. It looks like you are asking for or expecting gifts. If someone chooses to throw you a bridal shower, they can put the registry info on there.

Otherwise, it is usually put on your wedding website or it gets around via word of mouth through your parents.

HTH!!

jagore08 · June 2011

I am personally not a fan of honeymoon registries, but to each their own.

Registry info is to never be put with the invitations. The only time it's ok is for shower invites (and this should not be for the honeymoon as a shower is to shower the bride with gifts). You can put registry info on your wedding website if you have one or spread the word by mouth.

RoMy215 · June 2011

FWIW - something you should know about hm registries is that aside from it not being a guarantee that people will contribute--you don't get the money far enough in advance to pay for things like deposits or airfare if needed. So even if you decide to do one, you should book the honeymoon you can afford.
Although dh and I had not been together as long as you, I had lived on my own for a long time and we are both a little older (in our late 30's). So we didn't need a ton of stuff, but we did find things we could upgrade/replace/get full sets of (like a matching set of glasses because I kept breaking the ones I had).
We did a hm registry, and it worked out fairly well for us, but you just never know. I only got one "gift" at my shower--the rest was given as wedding gifts.
We used Travelers Joy, but as pp mentioned, there are a few. I believe that there are also travel agencies and all inclusives that do registries that might make it better for you.

DodgersBride · June 2011

I personally think it is tacky and rude to ask for anything as far as wedding gifts go. I find it worst to ask for money to go towards something that you should be able to pay for. I understand having most things to furnish a home but I am sure you can use upgrades on things you do have.

I would suggested making a small registry with things you would like to upgrade and let it be known via word of mouth that you would prefer money.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · June 2011

Honeymoon registries = registering for money = inappropriate, IMO. If your family is anything like mine, cash is a common wedding gift anyway.

While I don't really believe you can't upgrade ANYTHING, you can just not register if you can't think of gifts you'd like. Some people will give you physical gifts, some will give cash.

But no physical gift registry = no shower.

imlovingit · June 2011

I think it's tacky to ask for money. WHy should they fund your honeymoon? If they want to give you money that's on them but to tell them to give you money is plain rude. Beggers cant be choosers.

vesangari · June 2011

No way! Everyone I know over the last 8 yrs has had a honeymoon registry online. I think it would better to do a honeymoon registry online as opposed to asking for money though. You can set it up on the website to look like they are actually paying for stuff like hotel, activities, dinner, flights. That way it seems like they are buying you things even though you just get the money in your bank account.

I do agree that you should put it on your invite though. I am struggling with the same thing. We put our wedding website on the invite and list the honeymoon registry there.

Good Luck!

DodgersBride · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_california-los-angeles_this-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:68Discussion:8e222814-1df2-4fa9-9e5f-9ff82162022bPost:1120fb1f-8c9a-430a-9998-6700b2c198ce">Re: It this TACKY?!?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]No way! Everyone I know over the last 8 yrs has had a honeymoon registry online. I think it would better to do a honeymoon registry online as opposed to asking for money though. <strong>You can set it up on the website to look like they are actually paying for stuff like hotel, activities, dinner, flights. That way it seems like they are buying you things even though you just get the money in your bank account. I</strong> do agree that you should put it on your invite though. I am struggling with the same thing. We put our wedding website on the invite and list the honeymoon registry there. Good Luck!
Posted by vesangari[/QUOTE]

Seriously? You really want to trick/lie to your family and friends like this? That is wrong on so many levels.

jagore08 · June 2011

I have to agree with Dodgers here, Vesangari, that is a horrible thing to do to your family and friends. You are essentially deceiving them. If you truly want cash then don't set up any type of registry and spread the word that you and your FI are saving up for _____. The way you put it is you're lying to your guests.

Oh, and you never put anything about registries on your invitations. It's not only tacky but also rude and presumptuous.

ourwedding111111 · June 2011

I think that there is nothing wrong with a honeymoon registry, we are not doing one though. Some of the honeymoon registries do have the option for your guests to purchase upgrades for your honeymoon, or a dinner for 2, or a couples massage.

I have to agree with Dodgers and her saying that lying is wrong. Her highlighted segment above...when I read that myself I was horrified that someone would go so far to fool their guests and pocket $ that their guests thought was designated for something specific. I also think that lying and misleading your guests is wrong.

sicilianmarie · June 2011

I think it is ok too and I am doing one. It is 2011, times are changing!

NattyGal31 · June 2011

I think it is fine to do one- we are using one but I also think you have to really want the "cash" for what you want it for- we really need some things for our house- and we put those things on there. We really want a little extra fun things on our honeymoon that were out of our budget- so we put those on there and if the "wish" is granted- we will use the gift as intended.

I think they are fine and kind of the new norm- but it is all in how you present it- we are using a "wish" one (more than a honeymoon one ) called Once Upon Our Star (www.uponourstar.com) it is super easy and no complaints!

hisdodi · June 2011

I believe the question that Vesangari asked was: Is it TACKY?!?!?!
My personal opinion is absolutely. I fully agree with jagore08 on how deceiptful, presumptuous AND rude this is!

nme1977 · July 2011

Putting ANY kind of gift reference in the invite is tacky... it's implying that a gift is required.

We live together too, and we plan to have a HM registry; however, it will be IN ADDITION to a regular registry... but we have a smaller wedding and in our circle of friends/family it will be fine; in fact, a friend of mine today suggested it when we broke the news.

I think the registry is there to simpy aid those who are not sure what to give and want to make sure it's something that you would like... no one has to give you anything. Plus, some people like to give "stuff."

Just my two cents.

It this TACKY?!?!?

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