Warning: LONG! In summary, bureaucracy sucks, and according to the State of Ohio I have one name and a different name with the Federal Government. ARGH!
I don't think I've ever been so frustrated in my life. I took today off work to change my name, open gifts, get organized. So far, all I've been able to accomplish is changing my name with Social Security. When I went to the BMV they explained I could not drop my middle name and take my maiden name as my new middle name, they could only add my married name. I thought this was weird, but they guy acted like it was no big deal. Well, I called the BMV hotline after I left and essentially they explained that I pretty much have a hyphenated last name now. And it doesn't match my SS card (no problem changing it there). I went back to the BMV Deputy Registrar to try to fix it, and they called their boss and told me that Ohio had passed a law that you can no longer drop your middle name without a name change from the court. I've talked to other friends and to some people I know that work at the State of Ohio, and they have no idea what these people are talking about.
So far I've talked to 3 people at the Ohio BMV line, and 2 people at the Deputy Registrar. The worst part is that it sounds like I will have to pay another $24.50 to fix it (if I can find a Dpty Registrar that will). This is after paying $24.50 to renew my license in March!!!! I'm going tomorrow to try another place at lunch.
Oh, and I called Probate Court to see if I did need to legally change my name with their court, and they said no, you just need to take your marriage abstract, and that you can do whatever you want (hyphenate, keep middle and add husband's last name, drop middle and use maiden as middle, etc.). They were very sympathetic and said that I could ask the BMV to call them and they would try to walk them through it. Sounded like this trouble has been happening to a lot of people recently.
I hope this gets worked out. Right now my SS card says First Name Maiden Name Last Name and my license says First Name Middle Initial Maiden Name Last Name.
So warning: Third St. BMV does not know what's going on!