Cash instead of gifts - split household

Klb895 · June 2012

Hey guys,

I have a question in wedding registry etiquette. theknot says that we shouldn't ask just for cash, because some guests may not be inclined to hand over money. I certainly understand that.

However. My fiancé and I spend 3/4 of the year in Europe and the other bit in Missouri. We'll be having the wedding during our time in Missouri, but we can't be hauling a thousand pots, pans, linens, etc halfway across the world. Also, we don't think that we'll be staying forever n Europe, it could be that in a few years we'll end up back in Missouri.

In this situation, do you thnk it'd be maor faux pas to just ask for cash? It's easier to carry and what we need.

hoffse · June 2012

If you don't register at all, most people will give you cash, though you will get a few physical gifts. I would register for some linens or things easy to ship and make it very very small.

It's never appropriate to outright ask for cash, but this is how you imply that cash is what you want.

jagore08 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_cash-instead-of-gifts-split-household?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:120cd815-0398-4cfc-b830-9e5ebaf72b32Post:ccab94f6-34b8-404f-b627-2dcdaa73f6fd">Cash instead of gifts - split household</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey guys, I have a question in wedding registry etiquette. theknot says that we shouldn't ask just for cash, because some guests may not be inclined to hand over money. I certainly understand that. However. My fiancé and I spend 3/4 of the year in Europe and the other bit in Missouri. We'll be having the wedding during our time in Missouri, but we can't be hauling a thousand pots, pans, linens, etc halfway across the world. Also, we don't think that we'll be staying forever n Europe, it could be that in a few years we'll end up back in Missouri. <strong>In this situation, do you think it'd be major faux pas to just ask for cash?</strong> It's easier to carry and what we need.
Posted by Klb895[/QUOTE]
You situation doesn't give you an excuse to break etiquette. You never, never should ask for cash. If there are things that you would like to upgrade or a couple of things that you and your FI may need then register for that. Most people know that couples would prefer money, especially if they know your circumstances. If a guest specifically asks you what you two would like you can tell them you're saving for ______.<div>
</div><div>Also, cash is a gift. It cannot be given "instead of gifts".</div>

egm900 · June 2012

If you have a website, you could say "The couple will make their home in (insert place in Europe) after the wedding." When people see that, with a small or no registry, they will figure out that cash is the best gift. Also, as PP said, let your close family and BP know so they can spread the word.

My cousin had the exact same situation, they didn't make a registry and let people know they were moving overseas after the wedding, and they only got cash.

Ali092011 · June 2012

I like Liatris's idea. You might make a *tiny* registry with small, portable items, but you could also not register at all in this case. Most of your guests probably know you well enough to know where you live/will be living and will know it's best to avoid giving kitchen appliances, vacuums, and other large items. Also, as she mentioned, you should skip a shower if you don't want to end up with lots of boxed gifts.

Egm's idea is good, too. On your wedding website, you could put a short bio about how you met, your hobbies, etc., and mention that you plan on moving back and forth rather often. As a guest, I would appreciate that information for gift giving purposes, and would end up giving cash due to the circumstances.

There's nothing wrong with subtly spreading the word--just make sure the word "cash" doesn't get thrown around. "They didn't register because they move around a lot, and they're saving for when they finally settle down in one place" is a nice way of wording it.

MNVegas · June 2012

It is still inappropriate. Sorry but you can't ask for cash no matter what your situation. I assume the people you are inviting to your wedding know you split your time between two countries, right? Chances are most will give cash gifts. There will always be people though who insist on doing boxed gifts so set up a small registry for those people and others will give cash.

Marina Ova · June 2012

What about using a cash gift registry? You can explain on this website to your guests about your situation and they should understand. Then this gives them a convenient way of giving you a wedding gift that you can actually use. You should check out http://www.zankyou.com because it's geared toward couples in your same situation, i..e. international couples who don't need more "stuff."

MNVegas · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_cash-instead-of-gifts-split-household?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:120cd815-0398-4cfc-b830-9e5ebaf72b32Post:40e9f64c-78d0-44cd-8275-9c4ca4c8f845">Re: Cash instead of gifts - split household</a>:
[QUOTE]What about using a cash gift registry? You can explain on this website to your guests about your situation and they should understand. Then this gives them a convenient way of giving you a wedding gift that you can actually use. You should check out <a href="http://www.zankyou.com" rel="nofollow">http://www.zankyou.com</a> because it's geared toward couples in your same situation, i..e. international couples who don't need more "stuff."
Posted by Marina Ova[/QUOTE]

<div>This is still asking for cash! Very bad idea</div>

frantastic12 · June 2012

Marina Ova sounds vendor-y.

I'd do a very small registry of portable items (luggage and travel accessories, perhaps). People will likely get the hint.

Cash instead of gifts - split household

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