Already stressed :(

Re: Already stressed :(

• mdeidre

  

  April 2012

  First, I live in Cleveland, about 2 hours from Columbus (Well, a little ove an hour if you drive like me, lol) and it's really not a bad drive at all.  If you have older people, they might not like it, but younger guests probably wouldn't mind it.  If most of your guests are where you are, I would have it there.  It's not like you just moved there, this is where your life is.  Also, planning a wedding in a different place from where you live is asking for insanity.  You could probably combine appointments to minimize the need to travel, but then you have these mad weekends where you have to run all over your home town to get everything done and then back home and no rest for the weekend.  Some people have no problem with this or have enough help on the other end of things that it's not so bad.  In the end, you just have to decide what you would like to do.  You say it's cheaper back home, but will that savings be eaten up by all of the travel you'd have to do to go to appointments?  Gas is going to go over $5 a gallon this year, that's something to think about.

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• boaznruth

  

  April 2012 edited April 2012

  1 1/2-2 hours is not a bad drive, either way!  

  
  

  I think you should have your wedding wherever you feel it is right.  Do you feel more of a connection to where you grew up?  (I noticed you called "home.")  Then I'm sure that people will understand and might even enjoy seeing where you grew up.  Do you feel more like you have made a life in Columbus?  Then stick with it there and I'm sure your family will understand and it will be easier for you to plan.

  
  

  Just my opinion, but ultimately, I think this should be more about where you and your FI want to get married, rather than travel times or where guests are, particularly when the difference is only 2 hours.

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• right1thistime member

  

  April 2012 edited April 2012

  Some people will travel all in one day, some people will make a weekend of it and book a hotel.  Some people will use the distance as a good excuse to say no. If its not the distance, it will be a "pressing family event" (<---that's what my neighbor told me when she got tickets to the American Idol tour concert!) 
  
  As a courtesy, no matter where you have the eventual event, if there are people who "must" be there (family, members of the bridal party, etc) perhaps you could pay for a hotel night for them, to ease their travel woes. 
  
  Before you lose your mind over these details, my advice is to sit down with your Fi and have this conversation, "If today was July 4th 2013, and we were talking about how our wedding was so perfect, what would have made it perfect to you?"  (He gets extra points if he says, I got married to Y.)  Take turns answering, write down the answers, and then find the place that comes the closest.  ~Donna

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• Sue-n-Kevin member

  

  April 2012 edited April 2012

  You've been given really good advice above. So relax, and just take your time.
  
  What makes the most sense to you and your fiance? It's YOUR day, not the family's (although our families and friends are really happy for us, WE plan the wedding WE want).
  
  Two years ago my cousin's daughter got married 3 hrs away. We got a room and spent the night. Why? Because we wanted to be there. Others will do the same thing.
  
  Planning long distance is not fun. I think mdeidre's point is a good one: saving money on the cost of the wedding "back home" may not be worth it if you are going back often to do things that need to be done there.
  
  Also, some things that people take into account: are there elderly people involved? Is there a grandparent you or your fiance REALLY want there that might have difficulty attending depending on where you have it? Ultimately they may not attend, but consider it. Also, getting married at "home" is often a really attractive thought. But, if you've been gone a while then where you are becomes "home".
  
  When we were planning our wedding, my "side" of town was 40 miles away from my fiance's "side" of town. Not a major distance, but it is when my parents are in their 80's. Each of us had connections to "our side of town". In the end we decided on the PLACE we wanted to get married, a very specific historic village that just happened to be in "his town". Knowing the "where" often makes your decision for you.
  
  Good luck. Hope you can de-stress and think about it logically.

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