this is the code for the render ad
Destination Weddings Discussions

Where do I limit what we're paying for?

Fiance & I talked and while we want to assist in paying for things for our family members, we really can't afford to pay for everything.  We have tossed around the idea of buying a $500 gift certificate for the airports my parents and his mom & sister would be flying out of to assist with their travel costs, but right there, it's $2000 of our budget gone!  So I suggested maybe $500 to my parents and $500 to his mom.  Is that fare?  His sister, with enough notice (which she will get) will be able to afford to fly.  We don't want to put people in an awkward spot, financially though.

We've also talked about paying for the rooms for his mom & sister (1 room) and my parents (1 room).  Depending on prices, we'd likely be at a B&B or a hotel (my preference).  If we can book a block of rooms, we can likely get a discount, but it's still going to cost us about $1300 for hotel rooms for them.

Is it too much?  Are we spending too much on our guests.  It's our wedding, and while I'd love to have them all there, we can't afford to spend half plus of our budget on guests transportation and lodging.  What do you guys do?  What are the etiquette rules?  My parents are retired & his mom are both retired, so I'm not sure what they can afford, but this is our dream wedding!

We've also tossed around the idea of doing large guest favors (ie. a basket upon arrival with various things, touristy stuff, and 1-2 passes for tours).  Is that too much?  Could we get away with doing better guest favors (i.e. include certificates for dining), instead of footing the massive bill of flights and/or hotels?

I need some insight!

Re: Where do I limit what we're paying for?

  • We are not paying travel costs.  We talked to our guests ahead of time and told them they would have to pay for it and would they still go.  I am also not paying any hotel costs.  We simply cannot afford it.  Etiquette here does not say you pay.  We are doing welcome bags though (info in my bio). 
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Hi,
    My fiance and I struggled with what to pay for as well.   We are doing small welcome bags but also doing added events such as a brunch and a booze cruise for all. Both are very affordable and they sort of say "thanks".

    Another idea we looked into  (we are doing a beach wedding) is a boxed lunch the day after just to absorb 1 meal cost.  For less than 15$pp they make nice little lunches for our guest to pick up and take to the beach.

    While I think "welcome bags" are important, a lot of stuff may just get wasted.

    Good luck!
  • I love the idea of the welcome dinner/farewell brunch!  That is fantastic.  I'm absolutely going to run that by fiance.  I'm sure he'll love it.  We've decided right now, that we're going to do nice welcome bags (we're still going to go on the cheap side, with the most expensive thing being two $40 tours).  He wants to pay for the hotel stay, but not the flight.  I've got him talked down to paying for 3 nights only (two days before, and the day of the wedding).  I'm sure once the bills start to pile up, and our savings starts to deplete, he'll change his mind again.  Our families know we're planning on Scotland, so they do have 18 months to save.
  • WOW if you pay for all that can I come to your wedding??

    I agree with everyone else, we'll do welcome bags and that's it.  I really hope we can afford some sort of outing for everyone, we'll have to wait and see though.  
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards