Hello Ladies,
I know its been a very long time since I checked in. I just had to let you ladies know what has happened this week.
Sunday - MIL decided that she wanted to die and that she wanted to make peace with me.
I made plans to go to Maryland to see her this upcoming sunday.
Monday - MIL went back into Hospice
Tuesday - DH called me and said MIL was in and out of consiousness and was still calling for me. I got someone to cover my shift and left work at 5:20, 6pm, got home, washed important body parts, packed a bag and left for maryland by 6:30. 10pm I arrived at hospice center to her, completely non responsive.
I sat by her side. Everyone left the room so I could talk to her. Assuming that she could still hear and understand me. I told her that I love her son and that I understood that people have questioned my motives but that they've always been honest and true. I promised her that I'd take care of her son. That he would never be alone. I told her that I was so sorry that we never got to get to know each other better as that our life stories are so similar. Both nurses and single moms of two sons. I told her that I always understood her reservations about me but that I wanted her to know that there was no need for them. I told her that her sister expressed to me that she wanted to make peace and that it was made.
I let everyone know that I had finished talking to her and they returned. I helped her sister clean her up for bed. I had slept the night in the common room on a couch. Hubbie stayed in her room on a pull out chair.
Wednesday: I had to be to work at 11 am the next day so I left at 4:30 am. I pulled up a chair near her before I left and read psalm 23 to her:
The
Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.2 He makes me to lie down in green pastures;He leads me beside the still waters.3 He restores my soul;He leads me in the paths of righteousnessFor His name’s sake. 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell[a] in the house of the Lord
Forever.
She started to gurgle a bit through the psalm, I paused for her and continued.
I held her hand and said good bye.
She died before 12noon.
Hubbie was in the room with her but, he was asleep and missed her last breath. Her best friend held her hand. As I understand it, she gave orders to "aunty evil" to "cut it out" and she wanted peace. She gave her blessing for our marriagge. (Im crying as I write this).
Hubbie is doing well. His retarded but tried to go to work today and Abuela sent him home (good for his butt, I told him not to go) ... The big boss at his job is an older hispanic lady so we call her abuela (spanish word for grandma). She is always looking out for him.
Ladies. Sisters, I am so overwhelmed with emotions. About how I feel about how everything went down. Part of me now just feels like the devil robbed me & her from knowing each other but, there is ALWAYS God who gets the last word and brings peace to all who love and aknowledge him and his power. That includes both her and I who were granted peace in her last day.