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non-religious ceremony

bay72bay72
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in Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

ok, i've actually been married for 2 years now. but it was only a city hall type 'wedding.' i think my husband & i are ready to plan a 'real' wedding next year. but the question is, what kind of ceremony should we have. we're not particularly very religious and non-traditional. as much as possible, we'd like the official wedding to be simple & small. any suggestions?

thank you!!! :D

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Re: non-religious ceremony

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    bay72bay72
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_non-religious-ceremony-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:167be936-f01a-4dee-8e26-e591054b6fc3Post:94e15a04-fe8f-4e9a-bdb9-8c6f1265221b">Re: non-religious ceremony</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to non-religious ceremony : You have already had your "real wedding".  To have a do-over ceremony would be tacky and  AWish.  I am sorry to disappoint you, but when you made the decision to get married in city call, you gave up all the parties, big white bridal gown, reception, gifts and other customs.  You cannot be a bride again unless you divorce your husband. You get ONE wedding.  You are a married woman, and you should be proud of this. Be prepared for some very negative replies to your post.  Thousand of brides are officially married in city hall every year.  It was their real wedding, too.  To say that this isn't good enough is an insult to them. If you still want to celebrate your marriage, I suggest having an anniversary party - not a re-do wedding.
    Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

    what? i didn't know there's such a thing. i thought anyone can do whatever they want. from what i've heard, many people marry at the city hall, then they have whatever 'traditional' wedding they want that's witnessed by loved ones. and nobody said city hall wedding isn't/wasn't good enough. i think you're taking this waaaaay too far & seriously.
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    Summer2011BrideSummer2011Bride member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_non-religious-ceremony-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:167be936-f01a-4dee-8e26-e591054b6fc3Post:90e865ba-1b0b-44b2-a7c7-c1e4ae41f4b7">non-religious ceremony</a>:
    [QUOTE]ok, i've actually been married for 2 years now. but it was <strong>only a city hall type 'wedding.'</strong> i think my husband & i are ready to plan a<strong> 'real' wedding</strong> next year. but the question is, what kind of ceremony should we have. we're not particularly very religious and non-traditional. as much as possible, we'd like the official wedding to be simple & small. any suggestions? thank you!!! :D
    Posted by bay72[/QUOTE]

    By calling it ONLY a city hall wedding and then putting "wedding" in quotes you are trivializing it and implying it's fake and not worthy of really being called a wedding. If you call a traditional wedding real, you're kind of implying a courthouse wedding is fake. So yes it could be taken as offensive to people who had courthouse weddings and were incredibly happy with them.

    If you wanted the big white wedding, you should have done it. You're an adult and you made a choice, so now you need to accept the consequences, good or bad. I'm sorry you aren't happy with your wedding, but that ship has sailed. You don't get a wedding do-over and whatever you did wouldn't even be a wedding but a vow renewal because you can't marry the same person twice (unless you divorced him in between).

    I think you should just take away positive memories from your first REAL wedding at city hall and throw an anniversary party if you want to plan an event or get-together.


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    libby2483libby2483 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    CMGr and Summer are spot on. Also, people may not say it to your face, but you can be certain they are talking behind your back about how ridiculous a do over wedding is.
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    ksetkset
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    Do whatever you want, these women's opinions are not law. They are technically correct about it not being an actual wedding if you're already married, but you can do a "re-new your vows" ceremony and dress it up how you would the wedding of your dreams. You're not inviting the women in this thread, the people who actually care about you will not judge you or your event.
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    calliopeia2013calliopeia2013 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_non-religious-ceremony-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:167be936-f01a-4dee-8e26-e591054b6fc3Post:119630c4-ce85-4faf-a04a-8bb6eab54d32">Re: non-religious ceremony</a>:
    [QUOTE]Do whatever you want, these women's opinions are not law. They are technically correct about it not being an actual wedding if you're already married, but you can do a "re-new your vows" ceremony and dress it up how you would the wedding of your dreams. You're not inviting the women in this thread, the people who actually care about you will not judge you or your event.
    Posted by kset[/QUOTE]

    Well, you CAN do whatever you want.  People do things contrary to etiquette and often common decency all the time- you can see for yourself if you turn on any wedding-related reality show.  But take a good long look at whether you want to act like those people or not. 

    And if you seriously believe that people won't judge you just because they care about you, take a good long look at the archives of any advice columnist you choose.  You'll see letter after letter to Dear Abby and Miss Manners and whatnot saying "My [person I care about] is [doing something in their wedding contrary to etiquette and common decency].  I'm terribly embarrassed by them and for them.  I think what they're doing is awful/rude/AW-ish.  Should I still go to the wedding?  Should I send a gift?  Etc."
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    TiaraMarieTiaraMarie member
    First Comment
    Do as you wish! People talk behind your back, family included, all of the time regardless of if it is a wedding or not. I would suggest calling it a vow renewal celebration (or something of the sort) but you can call it a wedding if you would like. Do not let any of these posts deter you from what YOU want to do. Just because you got married at city hall does not mean you cannot have a reception, wear a white dress, etc. I don't know where that comes from.

    Maybe you guys could have something at a resturant or reception hall. Depending on the month you could do a small outdoor ceremony in the park or something of that nature.

    If people have a problem and do not support your decision then kindly let them know that they do not have to attend.
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