Combined Showers

mekiakoo · February 2012

My MIL is hosting a shower for FI's cousin whose name is also Katie! She just had a baby in January and is getting married at the end of June. My MIL's sister (FI's aunt) mentioned throwing me a shower too.

MIL asked me what I'd think if our showers were combined. I asked FI's cousin if she'd like that and I told her that I'd leave it entirely up to her.

Would you be comfortable doing this? Do you see a problem with this? I don't mind either way, but just wanted to see other people's thoughts. Not sure if the guests would appreciate "having to bring two gifts", but at the same time if we had 2 separate showers- same people would be invited.

BmoreBride311 · February 2012

Well, I'm guessing not all of the guests would be invited to both (if held separately), so that might put some ppl in an awkward spot. Like, your mom and aunts from your side probably don't really know this other girl, but they might feel like they need to bring her a gift b/c the shower is combined. Unless the guest lists really overlap nearly 100%, I would personally try to avoid this.

ceglare4 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_combined-showers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:0854416b-af1d-472a-b280-f10feb7e03d1Post:4a8f9efc-b60c-4d16-a3f7-bd07f42e8c81">Re: Combined Showers</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, I'm guessing not all of the guests would be invited to both (if held separately), so that might put some ppl in an awkward spot. Like, your mom and aunts from your side probably don't really know this other girl, but they might feel like they need to bring her a gift b/c the shower is combined. Unless the guest lists really overlap nearly 100%, I would personally try to avoid this.
Posted by BmoreBride311[/QUOTE]

I agree with all of this.

mekiakoo · February 2012

Actually this shower will only be for FI's family.

We are having separate showers for both of our families because we live hours apart. My aunt is hosting my shower in the cities where I am from. MIL wants to host one where she is from and where everybody from her family will be invited.

But you make a good point- my mom will probably come to the shower and she doesn't know FI's cousin and she may feel obligated to get her something. It could be similar for some other guests.

littlemoments324 · February 2012

I don't see it as a problem...however, it is a longgg shower then..watching both of you open gifts & what not...definitely would have to be well organized...maybe gift openin for baby before & then after lunch, gift opening for wedding after??

mekiakoo · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_combined-showers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:0854416b-af1d-472a-b280-f10feb7e03d1Post:b48dd953-399d-4bc5-b1c3-f3bfdaf050b2">Re: Combined Showers</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't see it as a problem...however, it is a longgg shower then..watching both of you open gifts & what not...definitely would have to be well organized...maybe gift openin for baby before & then after lunch, gift opening for wedding after??
Posted by littlemoments324[/QUOTE]

Oh actually- we already had cousin's baby shower a few months ago. This one will just be a combined wedding shower. The only reason I mentioned this is because we both are kind of at a different stage of our lives- us buying a house, and them just having a baby. Not sure if this will make any difference in how the showers are hosted? Probably not anyway haha.

BmoreBride311 · February 2012

I think if this shower is mostly your FI's family, not yours, I think it is fine. This sounds kind of like a bonus shower for you, anyway. I would just make sure the other girl seems fine with it, too.

littlemoments324 · February 2012

ahh I misread! sorry!!! Well, I don't think it would be that big of a deal, people are going to have to buy two gifts anyways...why not have it on the same day!! One person before lunch, the second after

Madisonpenny · February 2012

I wouldn't do a combined shower. You're going to have people at the shower who don't know your cousin and/or who don't know you. That could be very awkward. Not to mention that it could make the shower feel like it's just dragging on and on.

butterflyjumper1 · February 2012

as long as it is just a "bonus shower" of sorts for fiance's side of the family only, i think it is a great idea! it would just be awkward as others have said, if any of the guests only knew one of you and not both of you. otherwise, it might be pretty convenient for guests to only have to go to one shower instead of two!

elizabethmae315 · February 2012

If it is okay with both you and the other bride; I would see no problem with it; especially if your mom is the only person invited that doesnt know FIs cousin. It sounds like it could save time and travel, and be less stressful on each hostess if they shared the job.

mandctaft · February 2012

I wouldn't have a problem HAVING a combined shower, but I really hate attending them. my sister and her cousin (step-mom's side) had a combined baby shower and while I really don't like the cousin, I had to be there for my sister, but I felt obligated to bring a gift for the cousin. It was awkward and I hated it. So if all the guests would be the same at both showers, then go for it. Its cute and easier, but if your guests would be different, just have 2 separate showers.

mekiakoo · February 2012

Thanks for the feedback, ladies! Spoke with FIs cousin and she thinks it'll be fun. We agree that we will have same guests and keep the shower to FIs family only. Shouldn't be a problem. MIL agrees too.

michelle11988 · February 2012

I would say go for it! It sounds like a bonus shower for you and to alleviate having everyone come over 2 weekends spaced out it would be much easier for the guests.

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