Just Engaged and Proposals

Just Engaged.....Making a few plans.

Hi everyone! This is my first post, but it seems like a great place to get help and ideas! Congratulations to everyone getting married. I got engaged last week and I couldn't be happier. I am in the early early stages of planning a wedding, and I would sincerely appreciate any advice! Here is my situation...............I have never wanted a large wedding. It is much more my style and desire to have an intimate, elegant, sweet ceremony with a small guest list. Right now, I am planning on having only family (50-60 ppl) at an outdoor wedding (either home of a family friend or at a plantation home that does weddings). I am concerned that people will see this as rude if I don't want them at my wedding. It has nothing to do with that, only that my fiance and I aren't from the same place, and know totally different sets of people. Our guest list would be between 300 - 400 people if we went with a big wedding.   Also, several people have mentioned showers to me, and I know that I can't do showers if the guests aren't invited to the wedding. Has anyone faced similar decisions? I would love to hear any advice!! Thanks a lot!

Re: Just Engaged.....Making a few plans.

  • Tough decision! A wedding catering to 300-400 people would be INSANE expensive... I would compromise. Obviously you don't want to upset your friends, so maybe have the small wedding with only the family, and then have a separate reception where everyone is invited. :)
  • Just stand firm! If someone offers to throw you a shower and the people they want to invite aren't invited to the wedding, politely decline. Get used to saying, "Sorry, we're just planning a small family wedding." Afterall, it's not their money!
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  • I am in the same boat as you!!! If we had our wedding here in Michigan, our guestlist would be 500-600 people EASILY. For this we are actually planning it to be in Florida. We are going to be moving there anyway, but all our family is here. So 99% of them will not be there
  • It is possible to invite some of your closest friends without going into the 300-400 realm, no? Remember that whatever number you think you might have on your guest list now, you must be a little bit flexible and budget accordingly. Things come up, people insist upon bringing their kids, a plus one, etc. that you didn't plan on, so be prepared for that! I am having 92 people at my wedding, and that is certainly still considered intimate. Won't you miss having some friends there to celebrate with you?
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  • just a side note - jenny if your wedding will be in FL you should check out the FL boards, the girls are super helpful there.
  • Maybe where I'm from is a little strange but it is customary to have bridal showers attended by people who will not be attending the wedding. I always grew up with the understanding that this was people's way of contributing to a marriage in the community, third cousin, etc. I see no reason not to allow people that care to have a bridal shower for you, for example co-workers.
  • Also, on the bridal shower topic. It has always seemed ridiculous to me that women invited to a wedding have to give so much to a wedding gift and a bridal shower gift.
  • I'm in the same boat - we're having a small reception, roughly 50-75 people.  I've already had the same qualms about the shower (for one thing, we don't need a lot of "stuff", so I'm not sure it's necessary to make people buy more gifts).  My thought right now is to do more of a classy bachelorette party (nice lunch or dinner and pedicures, or maybe a formal tea).  That way gifts won't be required, but anyone who wants to come celebrate can.  We are only inviting family and a few close mutual friends to the wedding itself.
  • Maybe have a destination wedding and only invite family?
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