Tough family drama.

samkephart · July 2010

Any advice would be much apprieciated. I recently got engaged, to the love of my life who i have been with going on 7 years. We started planning our wedding for October 1st 2011.

Now, I have a cousin who is a couple weeks younger than me, who i have shared birthdays, holidays and even Graduation parties with my whole life. She has been with her boyfriend for over a year and said she is planning her wedding for 2 weeks before mine..... situation????? i really need help

psuxray07 · July 2010

I didn't vote, because I'm not sure what to vote for, lol. That would probably annoy me. I don't get it...how can you plan for a wedding when you're not engaged? What if he doesn't propose to her? And then to say you took her date, so she's gonna set it for 2 wks before yours?? I probably wouldn't say anything about it to her, because she's not engaged, so really, how can she set the date? (or is she secretly engaged? lol) But just stick with yours and continue planning and don't worry about her

psuxray07 · July 2010

I lied, after typing that, I voted no, lol. You're the engaged one ;-)

Dominique1219 · July 2010

Although it's annoying, you can't ask people to change their plans just because you don't like them. It's fishy that she's doing this without even being engaged, so who knows if her plans would even work out?

As tough as a situation as this is for you, you need to remember that you only get a wedding day...not the whole month or a few weeks to hog. I think if she actually goes through with this, you will have to suck it up and just let her go.

[Deleted User] · July 2010

Are you doing save the dates? Maybe consider sending them out, so people hear about your wedding first and in case she actually does get engaged and still wants the date, your guests will have known about yours first. Also, it is 2 weeks apart, what is wrong with guests going to a wedding (your cousins), and then going to another one (yours) 2 weeks later? They aren't the same day or even the same weekend. Hopefully though if she does actually get engaged, she will change her date on her own, or with a little hints from you. You shouldn't actually come out and say "change your date" though, but you can hint at it though (without being rude).

mb2712 · July 2010

I wish I had a better answer, but I know how you feel. I have a cousin who is three months younger than me, and EVERYTHING I've done has either been joined with her, or compared to her. I am glad I'm engaged and she's not. I can't imagine if she said she was planning a wedding for the same time as mine. As upset as I'd be, I don't think it's right to ask her to move hers!

kimp67 · July 2010

I don't want to sound rude, but I'm confused,,,,why would you ask her to change the date when it's 2 weeks apart?

shellbell026 · July 2010

I agree with the other posters. You can't really ask her to change her date because you were engaged first. Although it is completely nuts to plan a wedding and spend money on stuff when he hasn't even asked to marry you. I can understand why it would be annoying. I guess the only advice I can give is I wouldn't share any wedding details with her since she seems like the type to copy cat. That way she has to come up with her own ideas and details. Good luck!

writergirl28 · July 2010

I agree with the other posters...you can't ask her to change her hypothetical wedding date, but I wouldn't share any details with her or her family at this point. Also you're the engaged one and she isn't, so how does she think you took her date?! Crazy! I would just ignore this situation for now and continue your planning. Don't let her ruin your planning or your wedding!

her982 · July 2010

Even if her wedding does happen, it is two weeks before yours. That gives you two weeks to make changes and tweaks to make sure yours is way better than hers.

But really it just sounds like she is jealous, since you have shared so much in life and this is something she can't share with you, so she created this fake wedding.

samkephart · July 2010

I apprieciate all the advice. The main reason I am concerned about the dates being so close is because of out of town relatives. I'm in the process of sending save the dates and i have already booked a church so all i can do i keep planning away like i have been.

Thank you for the advice, and i'm sorry if i came across a little crazy.

BrassyClarinet · July 2010

You get a day, not a week, two weeks, or a month. At this point it's not even worth worrying over.

samkephart · July 2010

Thanks guys. I'll be honest I originally posted this when i first found out an i really was not happy. i have accepted it after talking to my family that is supporting me 100%. I am very lucky to have that and i do love my cousin and i hope her boyfriend does propose so she can have her dream wedding. sorry if i came across a little or alot bitchy, i kind of got away from myself.

brittnjustin · July 2010

Good for you!! Hope everything works out for you!!

Tough family drama.

Re: Tough family drama.

Choose Another Board

Search Boards