African American Weddings

Should I be concerned?

We hired our church's musical director and band to perform during our ceremony. He is extremely talented, he can sing, play multiple instruments and everyone enjoys listening to him.

When we initially booked him we paid his initial deposit but we were only going to have him perform. I thought long and hard about it and realized I wanted the band to perform too so I sent him the deposit to include the band. This was beginning of January.

Last Sunday after church I went up to the stage after everyone was finish performing to say hello and introduce him to my FI. I don't know the band personally because we are a large church so I wanted to meet them. He introduced the band to me and he told them that I have hired them to perform on my wedding day. This is the first they are hearing about it but they were cool.

Should I find it strange that he is just now telling them, when he cashed my check for their deposit 3 weeks ago. My wedding isn't until July so there's no rush, I just thought that was weird that he is holding on to their money. Or is this how it works?
Wedding date July 7, 2012

Re: Should I be concerned?

  • Also, wanted to add that he looked over my song selections and said I should add some spiritual songs. All my songs are R&B love songs. Does he have the right to make me change some of my songs due to it being a church?

    I don't know any Gospel songs that fit into a wedding ceremony, if you have any suggestions I'd like to know?
    Wedding date July 7, 2012
  • Do you have a contract stating everything that he is to provide for you?  Are they 2 separate entities?  That is odd, seems like he would tell them immediately so they don't book something else or have travel plans.

    He shouldn't make you change your songs, church isn't in session and as long as they are offensive in nature you should be okay.  I don't have any song suggestions though.
  • I'm not sure about the deposit situation but I would think the band should have been aware. Maybe he doesn't pay them until they perform. Not sure.

    As far as the music, is it the church rule or his personal opinion? Some churches do not allow secular music. Have you spoken with the pastor? If it's church rule well OK. But if it's his personal opinion...well mind yours!

    Suggestions:
    J. Moss- Give you More
    Smokie Norful- Nothing without you
    BeBe and CeCe Winans- Close to you
    BeBe Winans- I Found Love
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  • Thanks Ladies.

    @ Wallacje - our contract covered his performance and we made a verbal agreement later, that he would include the band. I should go back and have him put that in our contract. When I wrote the second check I put "deposit for band members" in the memo. So there shouldn't be any misunderstandings.

    @ MrsBoss. I think you're right. This is his personal opinion, because the only rules I know of is that alcohol is not allowed at the church. Thanks for the song selections.
    Wedding date July 7, 2012
  • definitely get it added into the contract and its your day i wouldnt let him change your music 
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  • Our church requires approval of songs prior to the wedding (even though church isnt in session..its still the lords house!) Mzboss..took the songs right out my mouth..lol..not sure how he does business..sounds a little hinky...but I would re-assess my contract adding the band (i knw u put it on the ck..but.....)
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  • I think that's the Pastor's place to advise you of  the appropriate song selection. He was hired to sing so that's all he should do...lol If thats his personal preference to only sing gospel songs then thats when you have to consider if this is who you want, then you'll have to accommodate his singing style.

    A beautiful song I recently heard is Finally I by Darryl Coley
    There's also The One he kept for Me by Maurette Brown Clark
    or You are my ministry - Shirley Murdock & TD Jakes
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