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Let me ask you a couple of things! Opinions please

iamstephiamsteph member
First Comment
in Maryland-Baltimore
Garter toss... is it necessary? It's always been my least favorite parts of weddings I've been to, and FI doesn't seem attached to it. If we don't have a garter toss (we'd still do a bouquet toss), would our guests think we'd kept them from some great wedding tradition?

Rehearsal dinner... our budget is maxed with the wedding. Would it be ok to do a more laid back rehearsal dinner, such as pizza and beer at our place? 

Father/daughter, mother/son dances... I get why people have them, but do we have to have them? If we don't do them, what are some other ideas?

DIY favors... I like the idea of little jars filled with candy.  M&Ms in blue colors cost a lot, but I did find a bulk candy store online that had better prices on sixlets in blue colors (sixlets were like m&m knockoffs, I remember them as a kid!). But do you think it would be ok just to put regular (multi colored) m&ms in the jars? 


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Re: Let me ask you a couple of things! Opinions please

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    Ginabean2011Ginabean2011
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Great favor idea and your rehearsal idea is just fine too. In for, for our rehearsal we'll probably just get Red Hot and Blue to cater it at the in Law's home, it's yummy and inexpensive.
    As for the dances and garter toss- I don't really care of all those "must do" wedding activities. I think they are silly and just get in the way of the fun party times. Just my opinion. We probably won't do them, just the cake cutting and after that the reception will just be focused on eating, drinking, and dancing.
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    CosmocityCosmocity
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    edited December 2011
    You are just fine! We will not have the garter or bouquet toss. Same with the rehearsal- it's just not our style to host so many lavish things so we're just gonna have dinner with the 'rents and wedding party at a resteruant or something like that.

    I'm with you on the nixing things that just don't fit our style :)

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    sunshine_day_dreamssunshine_day_dreams member
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    edited December 2011
    Pretty much exactly what LTB said.

    We will not have bouquet or garter tosses b/c we don't have very many single guests.  I also find the whole garter thing a little uncomfortable.  I doubt my guests will think they're missing anything - especially since the last friend's wedding we went to was really awkward with no one wanting to go out for the bouquet toss and the DJ calling people out by name to come out for the toss.

    Pizza and beer sounds good to me!  We are doing Famous Dave's for ours - keeping it laid back and low budget.  Fancy isn't necessary.  That's what the reception is for, IMO.

    I don't think you need to do the dances, and don't need to find anything to add in their place.  We aren't having the dances, and we're not substituting anything.

    Regular M&Ms is fine.  I doubt anyone but you would even notice that they're multi-color and not matching your wedding colors.
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    LauraT25LauraT25
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ditto PPs.  You definitely don't have to do the garter toss (I hate it anyway).  If you want to replace the tosses with something, some people do an anniversary dance instead - but it's fine to just do nothing.

    I think laid-back RDs are a great idea, because it gives people (including you and your FI!) a chance to relax the night before the wedding, rather than having two fancy events in a row.  So pizza nad beer is completely fine.

    Your candy definitely doesn't have to match your colors - I'm sure most of your food won't, right?  People won't think twice.
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    taylor1781taylor1781
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    edited December 2011
    yep...agree with everyone else....we're skipping all the tossing of things :-)

    and candy is candy....i would eat it regardless of the color :-)
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    jflaniganjflanigan member
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    edited December 2011
    We are not having a bouquet toss or a garter toss so I think that is a-okay! We also aren't doing the parent dances. And honestly, we're not replacing them with anything. In fact, I think the only traditional things we're having at the reception are our first dance, and the cake cutting.

    Just to echo everyone else, a really laid back rehersal dinner is fine. And your favors sound adorable. (PS - we nixed favors too. The joy of budgeting!)
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    gottahavashortigottahavashorti member
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    edited December 2011
    The musts are:
    - Seating for your guests at both ceremony and reception
    - Something for your guests to eat and drink at cocktail hour and reception
    - Everything that is available to your guests in the reception room is hosted (ie. they don't open their wallets unless you have a bar and the bartenders are asking to see ID)
    - Rehearsal dinner with some sort of food for those who are participating in the ceremony if you have a rehearsal

    Everything else - bouquet and garter tosses, special dances, cake cuttings, being announced into the reception, favors, having certain weddign colors, limos, etc. are just extras.  You can have as many or as few extras as you choose.

    Basically, everything you are planning sounds great.  I'd love an at home pizza and beer rehearsal dinner and some m&ms to munch on.
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    LauraT25LauraT25
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_maryland-baltimore_let-ask-couple-of-things-opinions-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:85Discussion:4fc3d84b-2298-4f52-bdcd-c2f7d5bd1be4Post:789e363c-924e-4e3e-9dad-ea4b12c26a33">Re: Let me ask you a couple of things! Opinions please</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>We are not having a bouquet toss or a garter toss so I think that is a-okay! We also aren't doing the parent dances. And honestly, we're not replacing them with anything. In fact, I think the only traditional things we're having at the reception are our first dance, and the cake cutting.</strong> Just to echo everyone else, a really laid back rehersal dinner is fine. And your favors sound adorable. (PS - we nixed favors too. The joy of budgeting!)
    Posted by jflanigan[/QUOTE]

    Ditto!  Our DJ constantly needs to be reminded.
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    iamstephiamsteph member
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    edited December 2011
    Thanks everyone for the opinions! Everyone seems to agree, so I feel much better about some of the thoughts I was having. :)
    Married December 18th, 2010 :)
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    csspencercsspencer
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    edited December 2011
    I wanted a laidback RD, but FMIL got involved and now its almost as expensive per person as our wedding...at least we aren't paying for it. I seriously just wanted to have a bunch of pizzas, but she swears her family would be insulted at that.
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    JanoBean75JanoBean75
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    edited December 2011
    I don't want a bouquet toss or garter, but FI thinks we have to. Our DJ friend is shocked that I HATE that part of a wedding. Besides, we have about 5 single people at the wedding. What would be the point?
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    bebe876bebe876
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    edited December 2011
    OMG... Thank goodness I am not the only one lol.. I dont want a garter toss, bouquet toss or parent dance... sheesh... makes me feel much better...
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    iamstephiamsteph member
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    edited December 2011
    We need to bond together and revolutionize the way weddings are done! lol
    Married December 18th, 2010 :)
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    lisab613lisab613 member
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    edited December 2011
    gosh, thanks for posting this! I am totally with you, i don't want to do basically any of the traditional things!! basically i think we're only doing first dance. i think (and hope) people are having a lot of fun and don't notice.
    i think your m&m idea is great. i'm thinking of doing chocolate chip cookies, which don't match our theme at all. i just think people will like the snack, and i can make them myself!!
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