Community› Wedding Month Club Boards› July 2012 Weddings
July 2012 Weddings
New Discussion

Pastor's invite!

Nati05Nati05 member
1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary
in July 2012 Weddings
I totally forgot until now! Anyway we have our last class with him today and I figure it would be the time to give him his invite. How do you address a pastor? I mean, am I supposed to address it to him and his wife, or his kids too?? We're not members of this church if that makes a difference. I know the whole family probably wouldn't come or stay but I'm clueless on what the etiquette is for officiants.
Daisypath Wedding tickers
nr2
Follow Me on Pinterest
Report Reply to Post

Re: Pastor's invite!

  • BmoreBride311BmoreBride311 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary

    I think you would write it the same way you did for other guests and the etiquette is the same (i.e. something like "Reverend Smith and Family"). IDK though.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • honeybear072012honeybear072012
    100 Comments First Anniversary
    Address it to him and his family the way Bmore said but do not address it to the wedding, just the reception.  It's impolite to give the pastor an invitation to the wedding.  Our priest made sure we knew that!
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Anniversary
    Report Reply
  • bridetobe71412bridetobe71412
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_pastors-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:4a3cd700-9fe4-43be-be2e-fd4778b5e4c0Post:27b33b20-e3aa-493e-a3a8-969855f00403">Re: Pastor's invite!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Address it to him and his family the way Bmore said but do not address it to the wedding, just the reception.  It's impolite to give the pastor an invitation to the wedding.  Our priest made sure we knew that!
    Posted by honeybear072012[/QUOTE]

    How would you do that? Invite to the reception but not the wedding? Isn't the wedding invitation for the wedding? I'm confused. We had a reception insert, but that didn't have its own envelope . . . ? Now I feel like I made some huge faux pas for sending our priest the whole entire invitation suite!

    Anyway, Nati, if he's married, just invite him + wife. I didn't have this issue because my priest is obviously not married. I just invited him (and he declined, but is attending the RD).
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Nati05Nati05 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    edited June 2012
    Huh! Really?? Impolite? Why is that? Same as bride, I don't have seperate ceremony and reception invites. Just invites for both. And I find that rule strange. My friend who recommended our pastor to us said we HAD TO make sure we gave him an invitation. She explained yes he's conducting the ceremony but he should get an invite like any other honored guest. Sooo that's what I was planning on. It's the wife and kids that are throwing me off. Maybe I'll do like bride said and address it to only him and his wife.... Btw speaking of officiants, I saw a few pictures of pastors with bouts. This blew my mind! I'm guessing this is something of a rather delicate topic that varies between churches, I mean I can't imagine a priest wearing one....but is anyone here planning on a bout for their officiant??
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
    nr2
    Follow Me on Pinterest
    Report Reply
  • bells24412bells24412
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_pastors-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:4a3cd700-9fe4-43be-be2e-fd4778b5e4c0Post:27b33b20-e3aa-493e-a3a8-969855f00403">Re: Pastor's invite!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Address it to him and his family the way Bmore said but do not address it to the wedding, just the reception.  <strong>It's impolite to give the pastor an invitation to the wedding</strong>.  Our priest made sure we knew that!
    Posted by honeybear072012[/QUOTE]

    I gave mine to my priest and he didn't think anything of it. They aren't going because it is pretty far for them but I did invite them.

    Nati, I would just mention it to your pastor and extend your offer to join you guys at the reception. I am not sure if this is etiquette but at this point, everyone is so different I am not sure what is etiquette and what is not. Not the best advice,sorry!
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    Report Reply
  • honeybear072012honeybear072012
    100 Comments First Anniversary
    He said that to send an invitation to him would be an insult because it implies that he is not aware that it will be occurring.  I had no idea it was offensive until he said it.  I really had never heard of it before that.  He could be way wrong but I just thought I'd pass it on just in case...

    We printed out own invites so I just made one up for him for just the reception.  If you don't have separate invites I wouldn't worry about it all that much...

    No bout for our priest since he'll have his vestments on.  Might be nice if he was just wearing a suit though.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Anniversary
    Report Reply
  • Nati05Nati05 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    Lol it's Ecuador :D but you're right I think I might have to ask someone. I'm not sure if it's customary here to invites pastor's wives and or families. These things are so complicated sometimes. You never know what will offend different people in different cultures! What a headache lol
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
    nr2
    Follow Me on Pinterest
    Report Reply
  • Nati05Nati05 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    In Response to Re:Pastor's invite!:[QUOTE]He said that to send an invitation to him would be an insult because it implies that he is not aware that it will be occurring.nbsp; I had no idea it was offensive until he said it.nbsp; I really had never heard of it before that.nbsp; He could be way wrong but I just thought I'd pass it on just in case.. Posted by honeybear072012[/QUOTE]

    Interesting. I still don't see how an invite implying he doesn't know about the wedding would be insulting. Kinda like oficially giving invites to parents and WP. Lol maybe it's a personal issue for your priest. Anyway I'm going to find out what's best, thanks!!
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
    nr2
    Follow Me on Pinterest
    Report Reply
  • LandB2012LandB2012 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    Shoot, I sent an entire invite to our pastor, which included the church and reception.  He had previously told us he never goes to receptions because if he goes to one, he has to go to all of them, but I thought it was polite to send him one anyways.  (Though he never even RSVPed).  Hope it wasn't rude to send it!  
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards