starting NFP online! a little vent.

wifeandmommy0609 · December 2010

Not looking for feed back just needed to vent. Thanks for reading.

Yesterday in the mail i got our package to start our NFP online. I was reading and it says there is 3 sections. You complete 1 section and then chart for 2 weeks and move on to section 2 then chart ofr 2 weeks then section 3 and chart for two weeks. ( section one took me about 2hours to compleate due to my kids and having to stop to do stuff for them). then I read you have to send in 6 charts. not so bad by our wedding is 4 months away and i am now freaking out we won't have this done in time. I Emailed them 5 months ago to see when we should start and they said 3-4 months before your wedding day.. So i hope i can get this all done in time...

Sorry ladies i just needed to vent a little i am super stressed as we are having issues with the bakery our venue recommended. I will be starting school on Dec 6th ( wrong time to go back to school but it needs to be done). and Dec we have 4 birthday's right before christmas so DEC is a very stressfull month for me right now.

Calypso1977 · December 2010

if you cycle is less than 31 days (a month) then you have more than 12 cycles in a calendar year. so if you are 4 months away, its possible to have 5 complete and a 6th started. did it say complete charts or just charts?

bibliophile2010 · December 2010

I'm really sorry you're feeling stressed. *hugs* headed your way.

I know you weren't looking for feedback, but I would recommend clarifying what, exactly, you need to send back to get your completion certificate (assuming you need it to complete Marriage Prep). Then, you have the information you need to go to your priest/wedding coordinator/person at church if there are problems and address them as soon as possible.

Good luck!! I'll keep you in my prayers.

wifeandmommy0609 · December 2010

Thanks. I did email the NFP lady and waiting for her responce. This is the last Marriage prep course we need to take. We did the other two at the begining of our planning stage.

k8ly · December 2010

Wow! Sending you prayers and calm thoughts that it will all work out!

wifeandmommy0609 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_starting-nfp-online-little-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:23b3dc21-a102-464d-9863-8ea2f6e09182Post:b5d5a440-0870-44a1-88ec-03d719472bce">Re: starting NFP online! a little vent.</a>:
[QUOTE]if you cycle is less than 31 days (a month) then you have more than 12 cycles in a calendar year. so if you are 4 months away, its possible to have 5 complete and a 6th started. did it say complete charts or just charts?
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

She emailed me back and said the charting is optional for us to do. but if we do want to do them then we just send her the ones we do completed or not while doing our course. so that was a big stress relief!

wifeandmommy0609 · December 2010

Thanks again ladies!

BridetobeJenG · December 2010

Good Luck. We're doing ours with a teacher here and we had our inital meeting and then met with her after two weeks and now I call her after my "peak" day and then we meet with her once a month. There might be a teacher in your area if you think that might help you get started and feel comfortable.

IrishBrideND · December 2010

wait, your church is REQUIRING you chart in order to pass your marriage class? I've never heard of that. We didn't even have to take a class on NFP at all.

I'd be ticked, to be honest. The church can tell me what methods of BCP they prefer and why, but I wouldn't let them force me to do it to get married.

I'm sorry you are dealing with that.

ETA: I see you just found out they aren't requiring you to chart. Thank goodness!

agapecarrie · December 2010

Someone charting their cycle is not forcing them to use NFP. Charting is simply information about your body. (Which every woman should be doing when they turn 18).

I found several physical problems by charting I never knew I had if I hadn't been charting.

IrishBrideND · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_starting-nfp-online-little-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:23b3dc21-a102-464d-9863-8ea2f6e09182Post:917243ba-c195-4f05-8b6e-60f2348f16d4">Re: starting NFP online! a little vent.</a>:
[QUOTE]Someone charting their cycle is not forcing them to use NFP. Charting is simply information about your body. (Which every woman should be doing when they turn 18). I found several physical problems by charting I never knew I had if I hadn't been charting.
Posted by agapecarrie[/QUOTE]

I think charting is great. Thats not my point. I think forcing people to chart is not cool. The church can tell people its the only method they approve, but forcing people to submit their charted cycles in order to get married would not be ok in my book.

Sorry, thats private info to me. I'm not going to mail my cycles in to strangers.

Riss91 · December 2010

I think it's okay to require the course and obviously you'd need to chart in order to really understand it - but I'd agree that having to hand over your chart is not necessary and a bit invasive.

I also think NFP should be taught much earlier on and not as merely Marriage Prep!

mica178 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_starting-nfp-online-little-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:23b3dc21-a102-464d-9863-8ea2f6e09182Post:5fc6a332-4a84-4666-8211-70a4e8c06055">Re: starting NFP online! a little vent.</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's okay to require the course and obviously you'd need to chart in order to really understand it - but I'd agree that having to hand over your chart is not necessary and a bit invasive. I also think NFP should be taught much earlier on and not as merely Marriage Prep!
Posted by Riss91[/QUOTE]

<div>I absolutely agree with all of this.</div>

IrishBrideND · December 2010

I agree with Ris as well. I don't mind them requiring the course (although mine did not). My issue would be requring someone to submit their charts (which I see now in the follow up the OP is not required to do).

Calypso1977 · December 2010

agape, youve said a few times how you think women shoudl start charting at 18. why 18? i think they should start shortly after their first period.

bibliophile2010 · December 2010

Also, I think OP has the option of submitting her charts to her instructors (who would then issue a certificate of completion), not to her church. That's how my required courses will work -- charts will be reviewed (for learning purposes) with the instructors, then I will give my parish the certificate that says the class was completed.

I actually agree that NFP should be taught earlier than at marriage prep, though I don't know when the perfect time to start really is.

IrishBrideND · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_starting-nfp-online-little-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:23b3dc21-a102-464d-9863-8ea2f6e09182Post:4c6e0fbe-f32a-48a1-bdd1-9d7de3c3deb1">Re: starting NFP online! a little vent.</a>:
[QUOTE]Also, I think OP has the option of submitting her charts to her instructors (who would then issue a certificate of completion), not to her church. That's how my required courses will work -- charts will be reviewed (for learning purposes) with the instructors, then I will give my parish the certificate that says the class was completed.Posted by bibliophile2010[/QUOTE]

sorry, that would not be ok with me. Its fine that others are ok with sharing that private info, but I don't think its ok to force it on people as a requirment to get married...even if its just to the instructors.

This upsets me. I had no clue some churches/classes required this.

bibliophile2010 · December 2010

Reviewing charts is a pretty standard way of teaching NFP. It is to help couples learn to interpret them correctly and use them as efficiently as possible. When you take the class in person, my understanding (because I'm not starting until January) is that you do the charts and bring them with you to meet with the instructors and then look to make sure that you are interpreting them correctly, and to help identify potential problems. At that point, the instructors really are not strangers, and it is not a judgmental situation.

The reason that the Chruch encourages NFP classes, not just learning from a book (which can easily be done), is because real, live people are so much better at troubleshooting than books. My diocese indeed requires all marrying couples to complete a course in NFP. I'm sure plenty of people go through the motions, but I think it is a worthy requirement.

Since OP is taking the class online, she has to "submit" them to have the instructors look at them. The instructor said it was optional, but I would probably encourage her to submit them for the reason of seeing that they are being done correctly.

I'm generally a private person, but I don't foresee any problems with this. Kinda like going to my well-woman exam. Is is the most comfortable thing in the world? No. Is it for my own good? Yes.

Sorry that got long. I just had a lot to say.

IrishBrideND · December 2010

No one is forcing you to go to a well woman exam to get married. You go because you want to for health reasons.

Again, I have NO problem with NFP and I think there are a lot of benifits. I completely see why people would WANT to submit their charts for feedback. My issue is REQUIRING people to provide that private info to get married. I do not think that someone not wanting to share info on their ovulation and cervical fluids should be banned from marriage in a catholic church. Require the class, but don't require people to share that info. Encouraging them to do so is fine.

I personally would have not done it. And I would have fought my church on it. I'm glad I attend liberal churches.

bibliophile2010 · December 2010

Fair enough. I was just trying to make a comparison that dealt with similarly private information.

I guess I just don't understand why reviewing charts with an instructor is that big of a deal. I'm sure that if someone really didn't want to go over them with their instructors, that could be dealt with on a case-by-case basis.

Also, I go to a fairly liberal church, but the Bishop of Phoenix is extremely conservative. I don't agree with everything he says/does, but in this case, I don't really have a problem with the requirement of getting people to take a class and be informed about the Church's teaching. After that, people have the free will to make whatever decision they want.

agapecarrie · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_starting-nfp-online-little-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:23b3dc21-a102-464d-9863-8ea2f6e09182Post:3170b924-4d72-4356-a81d-22baade3933c">Re: starting NFP online! a little vent.</a>:
[QUOTE]agape, youve said a few times how you think women shoudl start charting at 18. why 18? i think they should start shortly after their first period.
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

Yes, I've thought of that....I say 18 because of those that are more literal..

Observations require some kind of responsibility, sometimes early on it takes a little time to get things going through a cycle and stuff...I was just thinking of the frustration when things may not be textbook at first.

IrishBrideND · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_starting-nfp-online-little-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:23b3dc21-a102-464d-9863-8ea2f6e09182Post:4ce4c81a-1f67-40f8-861c-d01d0487fe2e">Re: starting NFP online! a little vent.</a>:
[QUOTE]Fair enough. I was just trying to make a comparison that dealt with similarly private information. I guess I just don't understand why reviewing charts with an instructor is that big of a deal. I'm sure that if someone really didn't want to go over them with their instructors, that could be dealt with on a case-by-case basis. Also, I go to a fairly liberal church, but the Bishop of Phoenix is extremely conservative. I don't agree with everything he says/does, but in this case, I don't really have a problem with the requirement of getting people to take a class and be informed about the Church's teaching. After that, people have the free will to make whatever decision they want.
Posted by bibliophile2010[/QUOTE]

like I said, I don't have a problem with requiring the class, either ;)
Its an issue with requiring submission of the charts. If they go case by case and work with those who are uncomfortable with it, then I have no problem.

wifeandmommy0609 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_starting-nfp-online-little-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:23b3dc21-a102-464d-9863-8ea2f6e09182Post:d9c94774-6411-473a-a7c5-94020af89994">Re: starting NFP online! a little vent.</a>:
[QUOTE]wait, your church is REQUIRING you chart in order to pass your marriage class? I've never heard of that. We didn't even have to take a class on NFP at all. I'd be ticked, to be honest. The church can tell me what methods of BCP they prefer and why, but I wouldn't let them force me to do it to get married. I'm sorry you are dealing with that. ETA: I see you just found out they aren't requiring you to chart. Thank goodness!
Posted by IrishBrideND[/QUOTE]

sorry i am just now getting back to this..

NO they aren't REQUIRING me to Chart. We are Required to take the NFP course. I talked to the lady who is helping us with the NFP online and I don't have to chart if I don't want to. which is nice to know. I just assumed we had to chart since it was "part" of the course.

Theresa626 · December 2010

IrishBride, I had the exact same reaction. There is no way I'm sending a complete stranger detailed records of what my cervical fluid is like every day. Especially not just for permission to get married. That is incredibly invasive. But since her charting is optional, I breathed a sigh of relief.

starting NFP online! a little vent.

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