Wedding Etiquette Forum

Thank you emails

This is not about my thank you notes. They've obviously all be sent already as our wedding was a month ago.

So today I stopped at my fav diner for a lunch by myself when a middle aged gentleman sat next to me at the counter. He made small talk, and when he asked what my career was, I said I was starting a stationary store/boutique. He laughed at me and said paper was a dying thing there was simply no need for it. I argued wedding invitations, thank you cards, etc. would ensure paper was always needed. He said he actually just went to a wedding that was COMPLETELY done through emails. He even whipped out his phone to show me the thank oU email he received for his gift. I would never consider this. Ever. But this email was obviously something the bride actually spent time on. It was rather long. I'll admit longer than my cards, which were around 6 sentences each. It just still seemed strange to me. What are your thoughts? Would you be offended by a "thank oU email?" Or would you just be happy you got a thank you at all?

Re: Thank you emails

  • edited November 2012

    Some email goes to the spam folder, and some people don't have email (or don't check it that often). My friend is extremely busy and only checks his personal email once every six weeks.

    I wouldn't want to take that chance when sending invitations and thank yous.

    Besides, if someone goes through the process of selecting a gift and paying for it, the B&G can certainly take the time to handwrite a proper thank you. Email is simply lazy, no matter how heartfelt the message was.

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  • Honestly? These days I'd appreciate any thank you, as they're SO rare. I dont think wedding related paper is going the way of the dinosaur yet, but it will. By the time the kids that are in high school now start planning their weddings, there will be a huge decrease in paper being used. My bf's sister went to at least 15 sweet 16's in the past year. None of them mailed thank yous. Those that did have thank you cards handed them out at the end of the party sans envelopes. They were all mass produced on the computer and none of them were even hand signed. This is the new normal.
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  • I would welcome a thank you email over no thank you at all. I notice these things, and three of the weddings I've been to in the last couple years, I didn't receive a thank you. I'll passive-aggressively remember that when I get hit with a wave of baby showers in the next few years.

    It's kind of sad, really, because writing a hand written note it is such a simple thing to do and people neglect it as not important. Writing an email? Even easier. If this become acceptable, people really have no excuse to send a simple thank you.
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  • The old guy is totally wrong.

    Trust me, I'm sorta old so I know
  • With the introduction of sites like Treat (where you can electronically send a greeting card without heading to Hallmark to pick one up, electronically write in it, and have them mail it for you)--  it's only a matter of time.  Hopefully not, but I suspect that it's heading that way.  I think it's really sad. 

    I have boxes of letters my parents wrote back and forth to one another in their courtship before marriage and while overseas in the military.  There is nothing like being able to see your parents handwritten letters and cards especially after they pass away. 
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  • I'd be peeved.

    If it was between a TY e-mail or no TY at all I'd take the e-mail, but I still think that people need to take the time to send a proper thank you. I get that they take more time than an e-mail, but no one is SO busy that they can't take 5 minutes to write out a thank you and pop it in the mail.
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  • I'm with you all that I probably wouldn't even notice the email, and I definitely think I would be a bit peeved. Especially since I generally take the time to pick out cards suited for the couple and write nice messages. I had just never heard of emailed Thank Yous. The thought would have never crossed my mind. My bridesmaids were sweet enough to make up Thank You cards for us that had one of our engagement pictures on the front. Who doesn't love that stuff?!
  • Gross!

    I just received a care package from my mother in law to be. I very promtly sent her a thank you card in the mail. The options were either to call her or mail a formal thank you. For certain occasions, stationary will ALWAYS be necessary.



    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-you-emails?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9ea87904-90e8-4845-8f9f-7cb445cf36cfPost:fb05fa7f-15d3-473e-b88b-d6c3dfdb162e">Thank you emails</a>:
    [QUOTE]This is not about my thank you notes. They've obviously all be sent already as our wedding was a month ago. So today I stopped at my fav diner for a lunch by myself when a middle aged gentleman sat next to me at the counter. He made small talk, and when he asked what my career was, I said I was starting a stationary store/boutique. He laughed at me and said paper was a dying thing there was simply no need for it. I argued wedding invitations, thank you cards, etc. would ensure paper was always needed. He said he actually just went to a wedding that was COMPLETELY done through emails. He even whipped out his phone to show me the thank oU email he received for his gift. I would never consider this. Ever. But this email was obviously something the bride actually spent time on. It was rather long. I'll admit longer than my cards, which were around 6 sentences each. It just still seemed strange to me. What are your thoughts? Would you be offended by a "thank oU email?" Or would you just be happy you got a thank you at all?
    Posted by PigglyWiggly13[/QUOTE]



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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-you-emails?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9ea87904-90e8-4845-8f9f-7cb445cf36cfPost:cacf1f91-35be-4270-be48-fcc2a6896340">Re:Thank you emails</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Thank you emails : This makes me sad.  I mean, it's true, and I think it's just a matter of time, but it still bums me out. 
    Posted by kwitherington[/QUOTE]
    It bums me out, too.

    I blame the parents not teaching their kids proper manners like taking five minutes out of their lives to write a proper thank you card. Yeah, writing them sucks, but it's part of being grateful. This is why I think so many kids are self-entitled brats.
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  • In Response to Re:Thank you emails:
    "In Response to Re:Thank you emails : This makes me sad.  I mean, it's true, and I think it's just a matter of time, but it still bums me out. 
    Posted by kwitherington"

    I agree that things are moving towards the electronic side, but I don't like it.  I have always been a fan of snail mail and always write out thank you's.  My mom told me I didn't need to do Christmas/Holiday cards this year and I didn't listen.  I have hand written 60 Holiday cards every year since I have lived with FI.  This year I am doing my first ever photo card and I won't be writing as much, but that is only because of all the wedding mail!  I couldn't NOT do snail mail greetings though!  Even if my mom gave me "permission". 
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  • Yeah, that girl sucks. Getting mail is SO fun for the recipient, and I get so many emails that I lose track.
  • I give small gifts to my nieces and nephews for Christmas and birthdays. Email thank yous are fine in theses instances. Handwritten letters are a must, however, for wedding presents. Usually the gifts are expensive and take time and thought to choose. Even if I give cash, I have looked at the registry to see if there is something there I want to give.
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