How to include my mother more in the ceremony, etc

gymchick05 · October 2010

I adore both of my parents and they are terrific, but I feel like a wedding focused on the daughter and dad so much and kinda leaves the mom out a little bit. I want to include my mom more and dont know how to do it. I was considering having both parents walk me down the isle, but Im afraid that may hurt my dad's feelings if it isnt just him & I. Should I have a mother/daughter dance as well as the father/daughter one? What else can I do to make her special as well that day?

Laurms15 · October 2010

Our mom's lit a unity candle. I think having both parents walk you down is nice. You can also ask your mom to do a reading during the mass if you would like.

I would leave it to just a father daughter dance beacuse not only do you not want to slight him as mentioned above, your guests will want to get their butts out on the dance floor as well and I find that the more speeches and dances and formalities the less likley the crowd is to really party hard. You want to catch them while they still have a bit of a buzz from cocktail hour!

EDIT: for what its worth my mom did SO much of the prep work with me dress shopping and fittings and DIY projects and manicures and getting ready that morning that I felt like my DAD was the one who showed up, walked me down and danced with me.

gymchick05 · October 2010

Thanks for the idea- I love the idea of her doing a reading, etc - I think Im just trying to think of things that include her and I together since her biggest complaint from my sisters wedding is all the photos are of my dad and sister and none of her

smw42 · October 2010

She could be the one to say grace at the reception. That's a way we're including a family member.

gymchick05 · October 2010

Aw thats a terrific idea too- we have a really close family friend who is a nun, so usually she does it at weddings, but I can ask my mom and see if she would like to do that. I saw the cutest idea on Four Weddings where they had the mothers on the alter and said that the 1st person who kissed you into life should be the last person to kiss you as a single person. I loved the idea, but when I was telling my mom about it she started crying already hahaha so maybe not

akmackay · October 2010

I had both my parents walk me down the aisle. At first I think my dad was upset, but my mom kind of threw it at him in an argument one day, so he and I were caught off guard. My mom actually wanted to think about it when I mentioned it b/c she thought it was weird- but than loved it. Both of our moms also did the unity candle. I am extrememly close with my mom, so wanted to include her in all ways possible.

peaches85 · October 2010

Love the ideas so far. Instead of the kiss that you saw on Four Weddings, I've heard of the bride and groom each giving the other person's mom a rose (or whatever flower) and a hug or kiss on the cheek. So instead of you kissing your mom, you would give your FI's mom the flower and a hug or kiss kind of as a thank you for raising such an incredible person and for accepting you into their family and he would do the same with your mom. That way maybe it won't be quite as emotional for your mom.

K&J64 · October 2010

I kind of have to have both my parents walk me down the aisle lol. My sister had both mom and dad give her away and now I think my mom kind of expects it, so be it. I'll have a dance with just my dad. I like the idea of unity sand and if I can get my fiancee to agree maybe we'll involve our moms in that some how (they could pour the foundation layer together or something cheesy).

jinylee · October 2010

I have seen both moms light the unity candle, which is nice and that's what my mother will be doing. I feel like, my mother has done a lot with me, behind the scenes of the wedding that she's happy that I keep her in the loop. She's been going dress shopping with me, dress fitting, looking at flowers with me and we've decided to include both of the mothers in our "tasting" for the reception. I have also seen the mothers come into dance w/the new son-in-laws toward the end of the father/daughter dance.

Juliet212 · October 2010

Gymchick - I LOVE the idea you got from Four Weddings!!

kellybee83 · October 2010

I'm keeping my mom so involved in the planning process, (not because I want her to feel involved, but because I want her to be involved and I value her opinion so much)so it doesn't bother me that most of the day of traditions are between father/daughter. Plus those will be special for my dad and I, and for my mom to see...even though I already know waterproof mascara is going to be a must for both my mom and I.
I brought both my parents along to see our final two venues, and bands. My mom came with us to register over the weekend. And I know my mom willl be there with me through every part of the dress selection process as well.
Mom my and I also both love the song, "Hey Soul Sister" so I fully intend on dedicatiing it to her during our reception and dancing to it with her. (Not a slow dance though) That could be a good idea, pick a song you both love or that is meaningful to you, and ask the band or dj to say that you'd like to dedicate it to you mom. And then dance with her during the song, everyone else can be on the dance floor as well.
Our mothers will be doing the unity candle too.

How to include my mother more in the ceremony, etc

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